Nouns That Should Be Celebrity Baby Names

With so many celebrities naming their children unusual names, here are my bids for future possibilities:

13. Chianti. This might be good for the couple wanting to give their child an edge in life. Or maybe just an edgy life. With overtones of Silence of the Lambs or The Godfather it's the perfect name for your future mobster. Christopher Walkin could use it for a daughter.

12. Dioxin. Who cares what it means, it sounds cool. For kicks you could spell it with a y or two. Dioxyn. Maybe Madonna could use it should she decide to adopt another foundling child.

11. Catalina. I've tried to stay away from place names because it's just too easy, but a vision of beaches and the uber-rich comes to mind whenever I slurp up this lovely red salad dressing. Catalina Clooney. Sounds wonderful, rich and tart.

10. Vinaigrette, the follow-up along the same salad-dressing theme. Who wouldn't love this continental masterpiece? If you've read Freakanomics and what Levitt and Dubner have to say about name trends, this one is the one to watch. Or maybe Roquefort. A Francophile like Johnny Depp is sure to snatch this one up.

9. Corvette. More than just a ship or a car, a strong name waiting for the perfect celebrity coupling to jump on it, maybe John Travolta could use it as a sequel to Jet.

8. Rhododendron. Her nickname could be Rhoda--kinda catchy, huh? If you've got a child named Apple, why not Rhododendron? Or Bougainvillea? That's a beauty. Forget the simple horticultural opportunities and go for the truly unique.

7. Viagra. Why more couples aren't using beautiful names like this is beyond me. It's lilting, it's too beautiful to let slip by. Maybe Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones should snatch it up for their next child. So many people make up baby names the same way they do prescription drugs anyway.

6. Apogee. A perfect name for the budding gansta rapper with overtones of greatness. Only I'd spell it Apa G. Pretty cool, huh? P. Diddy could have Apa G Diddy. Or maybe Rappa G Diddy.

5. And for that matter, why not Zenith? I'm sure if Frank Zappa had had more children, he would have used this one. I guess the t.v. guys kind of got to it first.

4. Floridian. A noun AND an adjective, but what the heck, how many celebrities out there know their English grammar? Say it, "Floridian." Sounds like Brad and Angelina have found their next stop on the adoption tour, complete with a name.

3. Syphilis. I know, I know, this one may be a little harder to swallow, but it's just too sweet for words. It sounds Greek, it sounds feminine, it's perfect for a future Hollywood starlet. I'm sure if Tom and Katie wanted to give another daughter a start in life, this would be the key. After the first ten or fifteen years of her life, no one would even think about what it meant before.

2. Flotilla. Flo for short, it's the new Annie. Understated, yet powerful. If only Demi and Bruce hadn't broken up. This is the only thing that would be fit to follow Tallulah.

1. Matrix. Only Matryx. Why hasn't someone jumped all over this one yet? Sounds like a name for one of Keanu Reeves' kids. He'd be born with sunglasses on.

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