Why Spiderman Totally Conquers Superman

We have here today some guest bloggers. My daughter Grace (13), my sons Spencer (10) and David (8) collaborated to produce this week's Thursday Thirteen: Reasons Spiderman is better than Superman.

1. Spiderman has a cooler girlfriend. Mary Jane loves Peter Parker for who he is and not because he's a superhero. Lois only loves Superman because he's big and macho. Plus, Mary Jane found out who Peter is and Lois is too stupid to figure out the Clark Kent/Superman connection. Lois never does what Superman asks her to, like staying somewhere safe, and then she just gets into more trouble. It's like Superman is her own private body guard.

2. Superman's outfit stinks. The underwear on the outside is definitely not a good thing. The huge "S" could mean anything but no one has a problem figuring out what the spider on Spiderman's costume means. Spiderman's outfit covers his whole body--good for a disguise--is lightweight and has a better color combination while Superman's cape just gets in the way.

3. Clark Kent's disguise is the worst. When did glasses make a good disguise? Someone should have figured out by now that with glasses he's Clark Kent, without glasses he's Superman. Even Lois couldn't be that stupid.

4. Peter Parker is cooler than Clark Kent. Being a struggling student and photographer is a lot better than the perfectly buff Kansas-hayseed thing.

5. Superman has too many powers. Super strength, flying, x-ray vision, heat lazars [sic] coming from his eyes. Someone needs to cut back on his powers.

6. Kryptonite is a sad excuse for Superman's weakness. First, there's hardly any kryptonite on earth. Second, if someone happens to come up with some it decreases his strength too much. Spiderman doesn't need a weakness because he has just the right amount of powers and not too many.

7. The whole idea of Superman being a sole survivor of an alien planet doesn't work. Spiderman's story of being bit with a radioactive spider is more realistic and believable. It could happen.

8. Spiderman is more clever than Superman. Spiderman always has cool ideas for using his webbing and powers but all Superman can do is use his super strength. Always the super strength. Webbing is better.

9. Superman has too many powers and then add to that that he's the son of an alien statesman. [here they had to ask me for a word that meant "leader of a government"] Spiderman is a super hero of the people and not some blue-blood.

10. Spiderman has better enemies. You really feel sorry for the innocent scientists who go insane. Lex Luther isn't powerful and if he didn't have his machines and money he'd be lost.

11. Spiderman's acrobatics over the city are better. All Superman can do is fly with the one-hand thing. Just flies straight--anyone can do that.

12. Superman has to have help from the Justice League. Spiderman doesn't need any help.

13. Spiderman only needs 12 reasons why he's better than Superman. Superman would need thirteen.

***

Have you entered the Write-Away Contest yet? Deadline is April 14th

Technorati Tags: Spiderman, Superman, lists, comics, Thursday Thirteen