The Scribbit Mailbag

You may not know this, but I can go to my Google Analytics account and see exactly which words or phrases people type into Google to arrive at my blog. Any time anyone goes to Google, types in a phrase where my blog is included in the search results and they click through to it Google records the visit and the words that got them here. Let me tell you it's quite a window into humanity.

I'm no Dear Abby but judging from some of the questions leading my direction it would appear I'm the fountain of all knowledge. Unfortunately for those poor Googlers though they came with answers they left empty handed because I'm pretty sure none of these topics were adequately addressed in previous posts.

But being that concern for you, the reader, is my ultimate goal (well that and getting a really cool job as a travel writer) I thought I'd take a minute out of the day to answer some of this week's highlights so that future Googlers can find answers where others failed. Here, in no particular order are nine questions people Googled and then arrived at Scribbit:

1. My husband wears my pajamas.

Now this isn't technically a question but being that it presents such an interesting visual image I thought I'd ask one of my own: At the same time? And what are you wearing? Is this an extra set we're talking about or does he wear the bottom while you wear the top? I need more information before passing judgment on this one.

2. I have cannibal goldfish

This too being a statement rather than a question I'm a little fuzzy on what you'd like to learn but all I can say is: My condolences, at least you don't have to worry about feeding them.

3. Can my hooves help me travel over snow and ice?

And am I speaking with Prancer or Vixen? I recommend the studded hooves over the all-weather models. Though you have to change them over every winter the added safety really pays off in the end.

4. Why am I married to an attorney?

Because he put up the most convincing case.

5. Can I eat kimchi while I'm pregnant?

While I was pregnant with Grace we had some Korean neighbors below us who frequently fixed kimchi and I'm here to testify that no pregnant woman should ever smell kimchi let alone consume it. Definitely.

6. My husband spanked my bottom red.

No response. Nothing at all to say to that one, I'm still mulling it over.

7. Can I get a tumor in my head from a cell phone?

Couldn't say but I'm pretty confident in advising that you can't get one out with a cell phone.

8. How much does Toby McGuire make?

More than I do but he's having a lot less fun. He never gets questions about pregnant cannibal goldfish swimming over ice and snow with cell phone-induced head tumors.

9. What does the lochness monster eat?

Krill. It's all about the krill. But I hear he'll take a Scotsman when he can get them.

That's all the questions I have time for today folks, but thanks for playing. And look at the good side, I've just doubled the probability that someone Googling the phrase "Can my hooves help me travel over snow and ice?" will make it to this site.

Technorati tags: questions, Toby McGuire, Lochness Monster, cell phones