tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post7413011615761769004..comments2024-03-15T23:39:29.134-08:00Comments on Scribbit | Motherhood in Alaska: Motherhood's Tough CallsScribbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178711182424809035noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-76464292693628187002008-03-06T09:42:00.000-09:002008-03-06T09:42:00.000-09:00I spent 6 weeks in Germany with 4 chaperones, stay...I spent 6 weeks in Germany with 4 chaperones, staying in youth hostels and with students homes that had visited us the year before in the states. We even traveled a bit in Switzerland, France, and upper part of Germany. It was the most exciting time for me, I was 17 years old, going into my senior year that fall. <BR/><BR/>To this day, I thank my parents for sending me on this trip because I would never have made it to Germany again most likely. Hubby and I have been on two cruises and a few trips to the Carribbean but he just doesn't want to go to Europe as much as I do. <BR/><BR/>My sister has taken her oldest daughter to London twice for school trips, once as a chaperone even. <BR/><BR/>If you prepare your child in advance the trip would be very worth it for her.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03417404726965818867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-52900950281749955832008-03-02T08:32:00.000-09:002008-03-02T08:32:00.000-09:00I know we all have stories like that, my trip didn...I know we all have stories like that, my trip didn't even leave the states and my father went ballistic. He said it wasn't the money or that he didn't trust me, it was his trust in everyone else that he questioned and had doubts. Now as an adult I realize our parents did understand, they really were us once. The thing that our parents didn't have to experience was the world as it is today. I try to think back to the world as it was in the mid 1970's and put myself in my parents place and I'm pretty sure had I known then what the future would hold now, I'd have been more likely to let me go on a domestic trip then than I was to let my son go now.threesidesofcrazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03680623585443980958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-71740815050262467882008-02-28T08:56:00.000-09:002008-02-28T08:56:00.000-09:00I just think this was a beautifully written post, ...I just think this was a beautifully written post, regardless of the decision about your daughter's trip.Mindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07503836646472956895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-52532089452403366872008-02-27T06:18:00.000-09:002008-02-27T06:18:00.000-09:00Hi Michelle,I just want to clarify the comment I m...Hi Michelle,<BR/>I just want to clarify the comment I made earlier. <BR/><BR/>I wouldn't presume to tell you that you were making the wrong decision, just that I don't agree that handing a child one amazing trip of a lifetime will devalue their work ethic or that they won't appreciate it.<BR/> <BR/>Of course that depends on the child. My parents allowed me to go because I was a very good teen. I respected them, cleaned the house for them every day, was open with them, etc. I had a love for learning and culture and architecture and came back from my trip so enriched. I didn't spend my time crushing on boys (as one commenter mentioned kids might do). I was a very down to earth kid.<BR/><BR/>My parents both worked full time jobs and had instilled in me the value of a job well done and working hard at it from an early age. They rarely handed me anything, but they realized that the opportunity might never come again. What better time is there to travel than before you have adult responsibilities? I was lucky in that respect since I met my husband at 19 and had our first child by 20. We'll never be able to afford traveling abroad as a family, nor is that a priority anymore (though I still dream of it). But if the opportunity comes for one of my children and they are well rounded and it is affordable I'll give it to them.<BR/><BR/>My parents would never have allowed my little brother to go. Though they taught him the same, he decided to value other things and is still a very lazy person. <BR/><BR/>It all depends on the family situation and the child and I hope your daughter will be able to understand why you've made the decision you have and be ok with it someday.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-71026896882846197682008-02-26T18:59:00.000-09:002008-02-26T18:59:00.000-09:00WOW--what a fabulous post. So well written, so wel...WOW--what a fabulous post. So well written, so well said! <BR/>A tough call. I loved what Robin wrote.<BR/>I grew up in Switzerland so that trip never came up or was an issue. Then we moved to the US when I was 13 1/2, so every other summer I was shipped off to family in France or Switzerland.<BR/>The experience would be amazing, BUT maybe at an later time. I think a young teen will not fully grasp it AND depending on the organization, might not be SUPERVISED enough!<BR/>Haaa I have NOT had to face that yet. I will remember this post!<BR/>I have to go pack....off I go tomorrow (only 2 hours away)SabineMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02686426828860840308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-3898647590927105542008-02-26T13:01:00.000-09:002008-02-26T13:01:00.000-09:00My husband and I struggle with this issue all the ...My husband and I struggle with this issue all the time. Of course we want to be able to give our kids everything --especially since we both went without as kids--but how else are life lessons learned. I actually went to Japan for a year as an exchange student when I was 16. I got some scholarships for some of it, worked for a lot of it, and my amazing uncle paid for part of it too. It was a very difficult expense for my family, but my mother really wanted me to have that experience... and it DID change my life. So, working for things, saving money and understanding the value of a dollar are tough lessons to teach if you don't HAVE to.Mommy2Twinkies-Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10621411925358532925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-32564495365363416982008-02-26T12:45:00.000-09:002008-02-26T12:45:00.000-09:00Being a good mom is saying "no" in the best intere...Being a good mom is saying "no" in the best interest of the child even when you really want to say "yes"Kayehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16037837655750384138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-47167533892662491332008-02-26T11:43:00.000-09:002008-02-26T11:43:00.000-09:00THis is an issue I think about alot too. Thanks fo...THis is an issue I think about alot too. Thanks for sharing.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15577283756881666335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-782119984606952022008-02-25T20:39:00.000-09:002008-02-25T20:39:00.000-09:00Good call. I hope I don't cave in when my childre...Good call. I hope I don't cave in when my children come home excited about something like that that I feel is inappropriate. I think visiting Europe will be a wonderful part of my childrens' education. But my husband and I will share that trip with them. I want to go too!page2https://www.blogger.com/profile/11295096403442487787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-7732950199850235882008-02-25T20:24:00.000-09:002008-02-25T20:24:00.000-09:00I was the student/child who DID get to go on the t...I was the student/child who DID get to go on the trip in grade 11 to Greece for Spring Break. I had always worked part-time during school (since I was 14) and paid for part of the trip myself. That is the only way it would work in my parents' eyes and I enjoyed having something to work towards. That experience lead me to three years later, working two full time jobs to pay for a 2 month excursion in Europe. I think everyone should have the opportunity to travel abroad but the timing and the maturity level must be there too.<BR/><BR/>K.Krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06372904383979683415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-24522745621797207322008-02-25T20:18:00.000-09:002008-02-25T20:18:00.000-09:00I can so relate. I had an opportunity to go to En...I can so relate. I had an opportunity to go to England in the 10th grade. My parents thought I was crazy. Bitter tears were wept when I realized it just wasn't happening.<BR/><BR/>I had the chance to go to Italy this past fall, but couldn't for different reasons. Not so many tears this time. And not bitter ones, just regretful ones.<BR/><BR/>I can see Cherie coming home doing the very same thing.jubileehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07924715623122612454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-2627306135103369502008-02-25T18:16:00.000-09:002008-02-25T18:16:00.000-09:00You are such a good mom. And that is such a hard ...You are such a good mom. And that is such a hard thing for a mom to do.Leihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13602022032114765911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-81811675831639997882008-02-25T17:46:00.000-09:002008-02-25T17:46:00.000-09:00that'll definitely be very devastating for your ki...that'll definitely be very devastating for your kid! but if it were me, can i chaperon my kid in europe?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-36776408525790136902008-02-25T17:24:00.000-09:002008-02-25T17:24:00.000-09:00That's a really tough call. I didn't get to go to ...That's a really tough call. I didn't get to go to France either because my dad had been laid off and we had just built a new home. <BR/><BR/>I did go to France in 1996 with my husband and I insisted we take our 9 and 7 year old boys. I am glad we did, though the 7 year old doesn't remember much about it and the 9 year old didn't appreciate it as he would have when he was older. It was a wonderful experience for us all.Melissa Markhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12360547564199558860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-82056515820138852022008-02-25T16:06:00.000-09:002008-02-25T16:06:00.000-09:00Great job momma! I admire your wisdom.Great job momma! I admire your wisdom.AlaneMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16378820581781820649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-16654925083985096612008-02-25T16:02:00.000-09:002008-02-25T16:02:00.000-09:00I completely agree with your analysis of this situ...I completely agree with your analysis of this situation and I am so impressed with the compassion you showed your daughter. Saying no is hard and it only seems to get harder as they get older.<BR/><BR/>I spent 3 weeks in France when I was 13. It was just expected that I would go so I did. I look back on that experience now and it pains me how much I took it for granted. What I would give to go back the older and wiser me. It truly was an experience of a lifetime but I had no perspective of a lifetime so I didn't get how amazing it really was.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452363927579018714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-21576687845594572972008-02-25T15:50:00.000-09:002008-02-25T15:50:00.000-09:00Also delurking to say Good for you. I think it's ...Also delurking to say Good for you. I think it's insane for kids to be offered that opportunity. I don't look forward to the day when I will have to say "No". But it will happen. These are the toughest moments as a parent.Dedeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15427448872354082792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-32296896080723904262008-02-25T15:19:00.000-09:002008-02-25T15:19:00.000-09:00dprMy parents broke my heart and said no to many t...dprMy parents broke my heart and said no to many things like this, (though never a 30 day trip! That is way too long for a trip away from family.) I was so mad at them that I moved from Utah to the East Coast at age 18 and stayed for 12 years (I still don't live in Utah - a fact my mother loves to feel sorry for herself about.) I, like some else said, didn't even need to ask for most things liek that because there wouldn't have been the money. But my friends got to go. 30 days....TOO MUCH! and I am with you on the glorified panhandling disguised as fund raising. I might have said yes if the trip was shorter and if I could be a chaperone. But I wouldn't let her go alone. It is great that you explained it all to her. I just went around thinking it was because my mom wanted to make sure I didn't have any fun without her. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-15899755666296983732008-02-25T14:49:00.000-09:002008-02-25T14:49:00.000-09:00Tender post.Tender post.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11347734179126050902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-30840804676538453352008-02-25T14:37:00.000-09:002008-02-25T14:37:00.000-09:00a tough call on either side. i also think that's t...a tough call on either side. i also think that's too young for them to be travelling so far from home....and a lot of money!!<BR/>i went to london when i was 19, worked to pay for it, and loved it. my mother was not pleased, but she never wanted me to leave home either.<BR/><BR/>it's all what works for your family....<BR/>i'd say no now too....~ejhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08461738529248708038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-1166691560516776332008-02-25T13:33:00.000-09:002008-02-25T13:33:00.000-09:00I think you made a good call. A bunch of my frien...I think you made a good call. A bunch of my friends went to Russia for a few weeks when we were in High School, on a school-sponsored trip. I didn't get to go. I needn't have even bothered asking, either. We couldn't have done it financially, but my parents wouldn't have let me go if we could. Many of my friends began their lifetime abuse of alcohol and other substances on that very trip. And they were not bad kids. There is only so much supervision the chaperones can provide.<BR/>I went to Europe on my own dime when I was 20. It was so worth it and I treasure the experience. But looking back on some of the dangers I faced even at that age, I would hesitate to let my teenager go.The Texas Bakershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02831737905620171326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-4895207672857963722008-02-25T13:23:00.000-09:002008-02-25T13:23:00.000-09:00Michelle, this was one of the best posts you've wr...Michelle, this was one of the best posts you've written. It was so well-crafted. I agree with you whole-heartedly and I get so frustrated with schools for even suggesting these kinds of trips! I think you're right, the time will come, and so will the wisdom.Jennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16015165553390298826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-5724923736020169592008-02-25T12:32:00.001-09:002008-02-25T12:32:00.001-09:00Reality is that people don't just hand you things ...<I>Reality is that people don't just hand you things like trips to Europe just because you really really want them. Sometimes you have to wait--and work--for things you want and though the trip would be a good thing learning this important lesson is better.</I><BR/><BR/>I'm with you on this one: she's 16, it's an outrageous amount of money to spend on a trip for a 16 year old who will be without her parents to keep an eye on her and who is going to spend more time giggling with her friends and boy watching than really learning anything or truly appreciating the very expensive experience. That's just the reality of it... and I say this as someone who never got the chance to go to Europe until my 20s either, and when I finally did, it meant soooo much more to me because I had to work for it.ewe are herehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13339650361453626546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-4994524239476867552008-02-25T12:32:00.000-09:002008-02-25T12:32:00.000-09:00Ack! I'm not having children! (never mind that I'...Ack! I'm not having children! (never mind that I'm pregnant with my 3rd)<BR/><BR/>As hard as it was for all of you, good job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-5090209532705217692008-02-25T12:12:00.000-09:002008-02-25T12:12:00.000-09:00Wow I can't believe a school is offering that to J...Wow I can't believe a school is offering that to Jr High kids. Sorry Gracie :(Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07843200092492177826noreply@blogger.com