tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post8340844900760821908..comments2024-03-15T23:39:29.134-08:00Comments on Scribbit | Motherhood in Alaska: Picking My BattlesScribbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178711182424809035noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-16384647629331231722008-11-05T00:26:00.000-09:002008-11-05T00:26:00.000-09:00BRAVO. I would have done exactly the same thing wi...BRAVO. I would have done exactly the same thing with my 11 year old daughter!!!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14296802780653481990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-38983293009683730862008-07-15T11:05:00.000-08:002008-07-15T11:05:00.000-08:00I think you totally nailed parenting .. picking yo...I think you totally nailed parenting .. picking your battles. My husband is still learning this one and often fights more than he needs to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-75063560270738291482008-07-12T07:53:00.000-08:002008-07-12T07:53:00.000-08:00This story is right on! I just wish there was a ha...This story is right on! I just wish there was a handbook to help me figure out which were the right battles to pick;)Melissa Markhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12360547564199558860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-26459190849092397502008-07-11T15:08:00.000-08:002008-07-11T15:08:00.000-08:00So well explained and well written. Wow - you hav...So well explained and well written. Wow - you have such a great gift for writing. Course, I already knew that, but I wrote about this topic months ago and it is amazing to see how a writer handled it with such flair :)<BR/><BR/>Loved this and I am SO with you.Mary@notbefore7https://www.blogger.com/profile/17294717852179643696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-37377497863415331632008-07-11T11:39:00.000-08:002008-07-11T11:39:00.000-08:00Personally I think you chose wisely. Teaching doe...Personally I think you chose wisely. Teaching doesn't always come at the best times or in the greatest scenarios, but the fact that you proved to him that obedience and respect for you always trumps manipulations was a solid lesson in discipline and self-control. Were you in public or home, what you did was appropriate for who you hope he will be in the future. Not only him, but all the siblings too.<BR/><BR/>When The Girl was petitioning us for a cell and we gave her a negative answer with the answer that she doesn't need one yet, after all the talking, she went completely quiet on us - the kind of quiet that says I don't like your answer so I'll ice you out. However she called back the next day to apologize and to say that she knows that she doesn't need a cell right now and she was sorry for arguing. I was shocked and yet filled with pride (in a good way) that she made such a mature move to accepting our answer.Shaleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364055849106684154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-20576296352511855072008-07-09T19:16:00.000-08:002008-07-09T19:16:00.000-08:00Still learning to pick my battles. Some battles s...Still learning to pick my battles. Some battles seem so life and death at the time and then later I wonder, "What was I thinking?!"<BR/><BR/>I would have done the same thing with the hot dog situation. If it had happened in public, though, I may have been tempted to give in only to quell a huge scene. Right or wrong, I hate a scene in public! And the kids are NEVER embarrassed over a huge scene in public, are they?!jubileehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07924715623122612454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-62835175542424616962008-07-09T11:11:00.000-08:002008-07-09T11:11:00.000-08:00I hope all your commenters are agreeing with your ...I hope all your commenters are agreeing with your wise advice. One of my most vivid memories when I was about six was sitting at the dinner table for hours to eat the liver my Mom had served. I never did do it and was sent to my room without dessert which was my favorite, strawberry shortcake. I believe being made to finish everything on my plate was one of the reasons I have a huge weight issue. <BR/><BR/>But, on the other hand, the hotdog had nothing to do with food and everything to do with blatant defiance and I believe you handled it well. <BR/><BR/>And I loved when you said you are actually four Moms.luckyzmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04176703683321469118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-80189191035013903912008-07-09T07:04:00.000-08:002008-07-09T07:04:00.000-08:00I think you dealt TOTALLY well with that - giving ...I think you dealt TOTALLY well with that - giving in would have sent the wrong message to everyone. And he's 11 and old enough to know better, so GOOD FOR YOU!Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953517447164263617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-88901150594466836102008-07-08T21:08:00.000-08:002008-07-08T21:08:00.000-08:00I am all about picking your battles! There are en...I am all about picking your battles! There are enough battles that <B>matter</B>, so why waste your time on ones that don't?<BR/><BR/> I think teaching your son that you will not be bullied is a good battle to pick. Eating your dinner, or wearing matching clothes-- not so much. <BR/><BR/>I have always felt like I will let my kids make as many choices as possible, so that when I HAVE to put my foot down, I can pull the "I let you always choose-- but on this thing, there is not choice. It's my way only. No negotiating." KWIM??<BR/><BR/>Why do kids think that "No" is the first step in the negotiation process?? <BR/><BR/>Excellent post. You hit the mommy nerve for sure!Elisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17255980370281345632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-91719138262560636902008-07-08T18:41:00.000-08:002008-07-08T18:41:00.000-08:00I never make my kids eat something they say they d...I never make my kids eat something they say they don't want to eat. But, i also don't let them eat everything they say they <EM>want</EM> to eat. I agree on picking your battles and knowing what the battle is really about. It can be tough sometimes since the arguments sometimes catch you off-guard. The joys of parenting!I am Arizona; a person, not a place.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18162117959024394009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-66909003527971044752008-07-08T18:39:00.000-08:002008-07-08T18:39:00.000-08:00I would have handled the Spencer issue in the same...I would have handled the Spencer issue in the same way. And I have handled similar issues in the same way. My son loves his food and any chance to get more he'll grab.Jen at Semantically drivenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14643066498784270991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-65349698775157743352008-07-08T15:52:00.000-08:002008-07-08T15:52:00.000-08:00"I'm four moms wrapped into one!" THAT is the chal..."I'm four moms wrapped into one!" THAT is the challenge, isn't it? I think it's also one of the greatest blessings of motherhood - that intuition and ability to learn as you go - and four children help you polish your edges from four different angles. It's a master plan for learning wisdom. :) You're doing great!Code Yellow Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16283426654179102400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-1117610769697638272008-07-08T15:10:00.000-08:002008-07-08T15:10:00.000-08:00>>You handled it wonderfully! I had a similar sit...<<< HUGS >>><BR/><BR/>You handled it wonderfully! I had a similar situation this past weekend - it also revolved around food - and though it is difficult 'in the moment' - we get through it!<BR/><BR/>Your post is very well written - I don't think I could've written more than a couple of paragraphs. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for the insight! :DMs Evahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05070039626057590271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-55029444578863602952008-07-08T12:50:00.000-08:002008-07-08T12:50:00.000-08:00Your hour over a cup of milk reminds me my two hou...Your hour over a cup of milk reminds me my two hours over saying "thank you" - - and my son was barely two. It took some time for me to get perspective on that (and forgive myself), but he has obediently said Thank You ever since.... although he may end up in therapy over it later.<BR/><BR/>He's still very willful, but knows now that I.Never.(okay, Very Very Rarely).Give.In.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-18722044563063810642008-07-08T10:16:00.000-08:002008-07-08T10:16:00.000-08:00I think you handled this beautifully.When I was 10...I think you handled this beautifully.<BR/><BR/>When I was 10, I asked my mother if I could bring a friend with me to the movies that night (we were going to go see Ghostbusters as a family). Because I knew she would say "no," I asked her in front of my friend and my friend's mom.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I manipulated the situation, although I don't recall thinking of it in devious terms at the time, I do know I figured she would say "yes," if my friend was right there.<BR/><BR/>She said, "yes," as she didn't want to make my friend upset, and my friend's mom was already getting the money out to send her with us. I was grounded for two weeks after we got home. My mom informed me that she, "hoped it was worth it."<BR/><BR/>I knew better. She had taught us not to ask those kinds of questions in front of guests.<BR/><BR/>I think your son will learn from this, as well.<BR/><BR/>Good job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-68566575891246780222008-07-08T10:10:00.000-08:002008-07-08T10:10:00.000-08:00Michelle, I'm so glad you wrote about this! Makes ...Michelle, I'm so glad you wrote about this! Makes me feel encouraged about my own choices. <BR/><BR/>Just Sunday I was talking to some friends and asking, "Why does it seem like I'm the only person who insists on manners and obedience from my children?" <BR/><BR/>"And why does it seem like friends are always saying, 'Oh, she's all right!' when I correct my girls?"<BR/><BR/>I would have handled that situation exactly as you did, and agree that the toddler situation is different. <BR/><BR/>Like another commenter said, you can't force someone (toddler or not) to eat, poop or sleep. We'll always lose those battles, so it's best not to engage in them.Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11688908160171158198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-36525598179208056472008-07-08T09:09:00.000-08:002008-07-08T09:09:00.000-08:00Considering he's 11 I wouldn't have let it go eith...Considering he's 11 I wouldn't have let it go either. Parenting is tough and what other people think of you parenting style is sometimes tough to deal with, although I like your comment that at your sister's, you weren't going to lose any sleep over their thoughts on the matter. I wish more people had that attitude. Sometimes others looking from the outside really do miss what the real problem is when they watch parenting at say walmart.<BR/><BR/>Glad you did not let in. :)Killlashandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16655705881605627747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-27218848290485043462008-07-08T08:44:00.000-08:002008-07-08T08:44:00.000-08:00My 11 year old is the one that will argue me to de...My 11 year old is the one that will argue me to death. But I am strong and lately when she starts to argue I just say what I have to say and end it with "Don't argue with me." <BR/><BR/>It's nice to hear a parent follow through with a decision as well. I think there is too much of the giving in to constant whining. And that is worse than what others think of our parenting skills.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00103993586753057004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-77860615167773545092008-07-08T07:57:00.000-08:002008-07-08T07:57:00.000-08:00This reminds me of our meal time battles Michelle....This reminds me of our meal time battles Michelle.<BR/><BR/>My mom would heat up meals over and over trying to get me to eat what I absolutely hated for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Cauliflower being one of them. I survived and won those battles and we finally called it a truce when she changed the recipe and dished that veggie up as a puree. LOL<BR/><BR/>I agree with you though that one has to choose ones battles or things get blown out of proportion for no reason at all, but bruised egos.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-55881544117052300252008-07-08T07:50:00.000-08:002008-07-08T07:50:00.000-08:00Clearly, this post resonates with a lot of people;...Clearly, this post resonates with a lot of people; for every comment you received, there are probably many others who read w/out adding their two cents.<BR/><BR/>I guess I'm just a "chimer" at this point; now that my kids are 11, 14 and almost 16, it's VERY obvious you have to choose your battles. The beauty of choosing wisely, is "after the fact", my kids almost always agree with me/us. <BR/><BR/>I'm sure it's helpful to readers with younger children to see the differences you've distinguished here; it's helpful to know what's coming 'round the corner.<BR/><BR/>Well done, Michelle!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-43925339700940244042008-07-08T07:26:00.000-08:002008-07-08T07:26:00.000-08:00You definitely did the right thing. I would have w...You definitely did the right thing. I would have wanted to ground that boy to into next year! Whew. Good for you for remaining calm.Sharlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08539955929237988325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-69972894972999441022008-07-08T04:36:00.000-08:002008-07-08T04:36:00.000-08:00drat...look at all the comments already saying eve...drat...look at all the comments already saying everything I wanted to:)<BR/><BR/> Clearly something we all deal with and wonder about everyday of our lives and want to talk about :)Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08913449603878934813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-75668457927537167652008-07-08T01:00:00.000-08:002008-07-08T01:00:00.000-08:00Ooh boy, I feel you. Mine is 5 and the last 2 week...Ooh boy, I feel you. Mine is 5 and the last 2 weeks or so he's been arguing every point with me. He's got Last Word syndrome. BAD. And <BR/>I'm getting frustrated. Today we had the Sandwich War. And then there's the "if Mom says no ask Dad." He's going behind our backs and the calculated manipulation is a little scary in one so young.<BR/><BR/>It's tough but I think giving in to keep the peace will only make it harder later.Melanie Sheridanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04100313047776018999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-49438467282499259092008-07-08T00:01:00.000-08:002008-07-08T00:01:00.000-08:00Wow. To be honest, you handled that WAY better th...Wow. To be honest, you handled that WAY better than I would. I was ready to strip him of all hot dogs for a year and his smores for the night. You were definitely in the right to hold the ground on this one, not that you need anyone's approval. But I was very impressed with how you handled it and saw the importance of the total situation, not just the hot dog. Great job, mom!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15588279741094182947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14194867.post-81179823222752672352008-07-07T21:21:00.000-08:002008-07-07T21:21:00.000-08:00We are so sure these things are going to hurt our ...We are so sure these things are going to hurt our kids, we can’t even think straight. You did the right thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com