Thursday, October 12, 2006

Thirteen Things I Swear I'll Never Wear

13. Blue eyeshadow. Not gonna happen--even if it comes back in with all its Cyndi-Lauperesque-80s splendor.

12. 3 or 4 inch heels. Like I need to be any taller. The highest I go is 2 1/4. Not sure why this is my limit, I mean once you hit 6'2.25" does anyone ever care abou that extra 1/4"?

11. A bikini--some things are better left a mystery, like stretch marks.

10. Face paint. I'm just not into sports let alone any one particular team. (Seinfeld episode anyone?)

9. A minimizing bra. Don't make me explain.

8. Black underwear with a white shirt, for that matter. What are they thinking?

7. Anything with the word "Princess" on it. Or any shirt-printing designed to taunt.

6. Guess jeans. Never. Never. Never. Too many painful 80s memories, too many zippers, too short.

5. Which brings me to the Audrey Hepburn skinny pant. Never. Never. Never. I love you Audrey but the pants aren't for me no matter what Gap's marketing people think.

4. And while we're on the subject of pants: Pajamas--at least in public. It's the 21st century equivalent of wearing curlers in your hair at the grocery store.

3. And that goes for slippers too. Not in public. Is it that hard to put on sandals or sneakers? It just ruins your slippers anyway. I think it's supposed to convey a general "I care so little about where I am and who I may see that I prefer to appear as relaxed as possible."

2. Gouchos (am I spelling this right?) I have flashbacks to polyester gouchos--or coulotts as they were sometimes called--in elementary school and it isn't pretty. I've seen these around and they're not my thing. But bad fashions never die, they just recycle.

1. Flip flops in winter. There's nothing about snow between your toes that I find appealing. Who would wear these in Alaska in January you ask? Go take a peak in any high school in town. Very odd.

More about the Thursday Thirteen meme

83 comments:

Meeta said...

Michelle, I love it. I had a huge laugh! Do they really wear flip flops in January? Brrrrr! My toes would freeze and fall off!

Susan said...

I think you were channeling ME, Michelle... kinda thought I felt someone in my head earlier anyway so that explains it... seriously hear hear on all - ESPECIALLY the pj's - I teach at university and you should see finals week - it's like a slumber party in every classroom! I'm 43 and when we were in college we wore sweats on days when we felt cazh, and someone told me last year that pj's are this generation's sweats - no way I say!! sweats at least were meant to be worn out and about, even it they aren't the most attractive thing in the world and still obviously portray quite the apathetic attitude... anyway a very rambly ROCK ON!! :)

Prahagirl said...

Just looking at those shoes makes my feet hurt! You know, I always do a "I'll never wear list" and then I find myself going back on it about a year later...I guess I am slow to pick up on trends :)

Susan said...

Thanks for stopping by my page! :) I loved you page by the way and will be back! Marking it as a favorite now! :)

Waya said...

I'm so glad to know a blogger from Alaska!! My in-laws visited Alaska this past August and they absolutely loved it!

I'm so agreeing with you on this list. Blue eye shadows? Never gonna happen either. Skinny pants? Can't even get it over my thick ankle. ;-) Although I love Audrey Hepburn, my daughter's middle name is Audrey after her.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...the 80s! I think I still have a pair of stirrup pants and a madonna-esque bow somewhere. And where is that metal-studded jean jacket?

As for the flip-flops in Winter, we've got that going on in Minnesota as well. I remember when I was in high school (late 80s) boys in Bermuda shorts was all the craze. Man, they looked ridiculous standing at the bus-stop in -20 degrees!

Goslyn said...

Flipflops in winter? In ALASKA? Seriously?

That is just nuts.

Kate said...

Oh that list rocked! I am so with you on all of these (except I would give anything for a few more inches since it souds like a I am whole foot shorter than ya! :)

Leslie said...

Great list!

I'd also never wear a a thong with low rise jeans or a shirt that exposes my midriff. That's just not right.

Tug said...

#8 - thank you! Great list.....

Happy TT!

amy said...

I hope you post it sometime when you have the dream that you are wearing all of those at the same time

Loralee Choate said...

I weep daily that skinny pants are back. ESPECIALLY with stillettos. GAG.

I pretty much agree with you on everything except I have worn my Pajama pants out, although I am working on it.

kailani said...

I never did understand the whole black bra/white shirt thing they did on Sex in the City. And I definitely couldn't wear 4" heels!

Knitting Maniac said...

Dude!!! My kinda woman! I am sitting here wearing my Birks and it is snowing outside!

Thanks for stopping by!

ali said...

ugh. blue eyeshadow. NEVER!

soccer mom in denial said...

For my star of the week in 3rd grade, one classmate said that what she liked about me was my coulotts. Guess there wasn't anything nice to say...

Fun list. Thanks!

Julie said...

Okay, I'm ashamed to admit it, but not only did I invest in the Bonnie Bell blue eye shadow in Jr. High, but I also sported the most hygenically scary makeup trend of all time: the sparkly blue eyeliner on the inside edge of my eyelashes. What were we thinking? Well, the flipflops in the snow thing shows kids haven't changed all that much. Fashion trumps common-sense any day.

Anonymous said...

Oh, but my bras are all minimizers. Bwahaha! :p

Inkling said...

bjI'm so with you.....the coulott thing pretty much scarred me for life back in the '80's....I had to wear them for gym at the goofy school I attended. Heaven forbid girls wear pants or shorts! Being master of my own wardrobe doesn't guarantee that I'm stylish, but it does mean I can escape floppy pants, leggin's, and blue eyeshadow.....

I just found you through another blog, and enjoyed reading. You've got a way with words, and a fun sense of humor - especially when it comes to mothering. love it!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on all of these! Great list :)

Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by my T13 earlier!

...my 2 cents said...

A great list! I can't imagene wearing flip flops in Alaska! That's crazy. I think the goucho things are kind of cute though.

Have a great Thursday!

Colleen Gleason said...

Great list!

Love it. Especially the comment about wearing pj bottoms to the store. So true.

And I am so with you on the bikini. Never. Never. Never. (Did I say never?)

Shoes like the one in your picture...never those either.

Thanks for stopping by, and for the hilarious list!

Barbara H. said...

I think I agree with most of your list! I have worn culottes a few times, but they're not my favorite things.

I don't see how anyone walks in shoes like those!

Anonymous said...

In honor of you, I swear to never wear any of those things either.

Well, almost.

Since I live in Arizona, I do wear my Birkenstocks year round.

But I used to live in Chicago...and worked with a guy that wore sandals with white tube socks during the winter. He deserves the death penalty.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Happy TT!
Bubba

Lindsey said...

Oh, the fashion blunders, LOL! Thanks for sharing! Happy TT!

lrlwreath said...

Amen to the bikini one!~!! great list. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Ni Yachen said...

The last one is so true; i just doesn't make sense. Flip flops are part of my lease favorite look, the "Peter Jackson" one. It is where someone wears a big down parka, shorts, and flip flops . . . at the same time! That is a walking oxymoron if I ever saw one.

Haley-O said...

Anything with the word Princess on it! I hear ya! Should be banned! ;) Great list. Cracked me right up! :)

Anonymous said...

Great list! I take issue with number 5. I do not want to see dead people selling Gap clothes. That is just wrong all over the place!

Gypsy said...

Amen, sister. Amen. I'll add huaraches to that list, too.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL! I don't think anyone except 12 year olds and emaciated models look good in those skinny jeans.

BTW Herman's Hermits did do Henry The 8th.

Thanks for stopping by my blog today :)

Crayonsetc said...

Oh, now I am not in Alaska... but I do wear my sandles/crocs year round... unless there is over about 3 inches... then I go strait to snow boots ;) But I HATE being hot and my feet are my thermostat!!

I think I am with you on most of that though... except I do wear slippers out in public... especially if I have to run out quick late at night!!

Happy TT!!

suki said...

I could never buy anything that said PRINCESS or anything like that on it! :) Thanks for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

yeah i can see why you would decline to wear flip flops in the winter considering where you hail from.
fun list you have here!
thanks for visiting my tt this week.

gail said...

Fun list, I'm with you on most of those!
Thanks for stopping by mine.

Anonymous said...

Ugh... coulottes! And Guess Jeans... And don't they know that those skinny pants look good on virtually no one?

Jane said...

I am with you on ALL of those. The only time I will wear flip-flops in winter is if I am getting a pedicure!!!
Thanks for stopping by my place for a visit today.

colleen said...

Nothing with the midriff showing. No pierced body parts...except for my ears. I wore the platforms in the 70s because I'm only 5"1".

Anonymous said...

Oh, how I wanted a pair of Guess? jeans in sixth grade...

I'm with you on all of these! I only recently accepted flip flops in the summer, much less the winter.

Thanks for stopping by my list! Happy TT!

Janet said...

great list! Thanks for visiting me :-)

Ocean Lady said...

Wow! Your from Alaska!? I've always wanted to go there. If I lived there I'd be wearing the big ole fluffy boots! Nice to meet you! :=)

Ocean Lady said...

Pardon the question mark on the part where I'm asking about you being from Alaska. ;=)

Carmen said...

can i add anything with words accross the butt? :)

Natsthename said...

I'm with you on all counts, especially those hideous gaucho pants. I saw a woman with black ones on today, accompanied by knee high boots. Her butt looked as wide as a truck, but she was a thin girl! THEY are just not flattering!!

KaY said...

#8 sure hit the nail right on the head ... I never could fathom why they do that ... it's just so weird.

Anonymous said...

I was right along with you until the last 2... I love gauchos, and I just wore a turtleneck with flipflops the other day... (it was cold, but not THAT cold... does that count?)

Loved it!

happy thursday! :-)

Christina said...

OMG, I agree with pretty much all of these! Skinny pants would look atrocious on all my curves, I can't get myself to put on a pair of gauchos even though just about everyone tells me how comfy they are, and PJs/slippers in public - ewwww! The only one I'll respectfully disagree with is the flip-flops in winter because in FL, you can get away with it :)

Christina said...

PS - you will love the Keys! Such a fun place to go on vacation!

jen said...

but those red shoes...hot..

Anonymous said...

I'm so bad. I have to agree with some of those things but I really want to wear my PJ's to work tomorrow. It's a workshop day and there will be no parents. PLEASE!

JM Snyder said...

Great list!

My sister-in-law made all her bridesmaids wear 3" heels at her wedding ... it was AWFUL! I got rid of them as soon as the reception was over.

I'll admit, though, I do have one shirt (ONLY ONE!) that used to be my sister's and says Princess on it. It's a short-sleeved hoodie, for whatever reason, and I only wear it when the weather calls for it.

I also went out in my PJs & slippers on Monday night, but it was 1:30 AM and it was only to my brother's house (his wife's water broke & I had to watch the other kids while they went to the hospital ... two hours later, I'm an aunt x4).

Take care, and thanks for visiting my TT!

Julie said...

*shudder* Blue eye shadow=bad 80's memories.

I am so with you on the bikini and the skinny pants. And I don't understand the whole flip flops in winter phenomenon.

Thanks for stopping by my T13!

Paula said...

Awww, but I love gauchos!

Jennifer said...

oh goodness, you crack me up! I agree with the bikini thing and stretch marks..and did I miss a Seinfield episode??there is an episode for every situation imaginable. The flip flops in Alaska, wow- I didn't think even highschoolers could be that silly in the name of cool, guess I was wrong.

nice list, thanks for visiting my TT!
Jenny in Ca

Blondie said...

I vow never to refer to myself as "Kitten" in public. (I knew someone who did.)

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I agree with your #s 12 and 13. I wouldn't wear them too.
Thanks for passing by.

Christine said...

I'm with you all the way. Nobody wants to see this belly in a bikini. And heels...I don't even wear small heels. I wore heels at my wedding and towered over my husband [who is 5'9 like me]. He was not pleased by that. Oh, and anything 80s needs to stay in the 80s. Please don't bring back the rolled up jeans or the tall hair.

J said...

What's sweetney's? You left a comment about Bowie on Sweetney's, and I am clueless. :)

I lived in Fairbanks for 5 years as a child, so I know a bit about Alaska. My mom and brother live in Juneau, and I have family in Kotzebue, too. :)

I agree with your tips, by the way. ;)

Anonymous said...

Good choices - from a man's point of view, too!
I'm not a fan of footwear that makes noise.

thanks for stopping by.
Happy TT.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful list! I agree completely. I'll never wear--and never have worn--a bikini or pj's in public. Now I do admit that I wore culottes 'way back when and pointy-toed heels "back in the day." I laughed out loud, reading your list.

Lynn said...

Great list and I agree with them all;-) I still don't understand the flip-flops in the winter (cold states;-)! Thanks for visiting.

Ballpoint Wren said...

Those shorts with "juicy" printed on the bottoms always make me laugh!

Anonymous said...

yeah, it cracks me up to see my flipflop lovin' friends all bundled up in sweaters and wearing... flipflops.

*me, preening in my calf-high boots*

Cheryl said...

I'd wear face paint (selectively) but nothing else on your list!

Addie said...

Loved you list - can almost agree with all. Thanks for stopping by my TT.
Addie
http://myrandomramblings.wordpress.com

Darla said...

LOL! I'm the opposite on heels--the 2.5 inch is a minimum, but then I'm short.

And please don't say gauchos or culottes are coming back. I have a theory--if you wore them the first time they were popular, you can (should?) skip them when they come back. :)

Katia said...

*giggle* I love it. Thanks for the laughs - I agree with most of them - and love the photo! Those make me cringe just looking at them!

Thanks for dropping by my TT!

Anonymous said...

Haha, fabulous list! I'm so with you on a lot of those!
Thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

flip flops in winter? Why?! that's horrible!
I love the list!
Thanks for visiting mine, I hope you have a great day!

Kim in MI (slugmom) said...

Oh, now me? I'm at the opposite end of the shoe thing. I bought some boots which, I later read online, have 4" heels. But I need every inch. I'm 5' exactly only because I refuse to let anyone official measure me who might suggest I'm any shorter.

thanks for stopping by & commenting on my blog, it's nice to "meet" you. I'm going to hang around, read a little more here, I've enjoyed the first posts I've read. :-)

Trish said...

LMAO - Love it. And I'm with you on most of them. I've worn jammies in public - with big yellow doggie slippers.. but that's because a) I was sick and didn't really give a crap. b) I'm an attention whore anyway. c) I love the shock value of the slippers. :D

Happy TT!
Thanks for visiting mine!

Anonymous said...

Separated at birth , we are! :D I agree with all of them, except for #9. It's a must. Don't make me explain, LOL! #2-5, I hate that Gap commercial! Like you, love Audrey, but nix the pants. #2, oh man, I am so with you on that one. I hated bell bottoms, shawls, ponchos... ACK! I can't believe those are back in style. Don't even get me started on Tough Skins. Remember those? I could barely walk, it was like I had fallen in a lake in the dead of winter and had walk home a mile in freezing weather.

mominprogress said...

LOL Love this list. I hate really high heals too, must be the tall thing. But I have to admit I do own one pair of gauchos (not in a wierd fabric or anything lol)

My DH is searching for his dear daughter somewhere in Tok AK, maybe we'll get to see your great state someday.

Damselfly said...

LOL! I'm with you on every one of these except the bikini -- but then, I wear board shorts over my bottoms anyway. And sometimes a tee, just for sun protection.

Cat said...

4. and 3. both go on around here a lot. I actually join in. If I have to run to the store and it's snowing outside and I'm feeling lazy, why not wear my PJ bottoms and a top? They are pants, just like sweats.

Call me lazy, but I find it to be empowering to wear cute puppies on my pants. *grins*

Of course, I think being a kid at heart is okay at times...but I'm not saying a make it a habit and dress slouchy all the time. There's definitely a time/place for it.

N. Mallory said...

You cracked me up. They wear flip flops in January at the high school here in Maine too. Very perplexing.

Happy TT!

Irish Church Lady :) said...

That's a great list. I still wore sandals to work last week but it is getting cold so by the end of the week I was in respectable shoes. lol

Jenny Ryan said...

Great list!

Thanks for visiting my TT this week :)

Annie said...

Woah..you really hit a cord with this one! When I was in high school I think the fashion mavens actually came up with some "new ideas". Since then all I've seen is repeats of styles. Most of them I can't stand. Your post is great!

Geekwif said...

I think I can safely say I would never wear any of these either. #7 reminded me of those pants that have words across the butt like "juicy". Bleecchhhh. I could never wear something like that.

Lisa said...

LOL they are some monster shoes, aren't they? And you know somewhere out there in the great big world, SOMEONE is wearing them! :) (For what reason I cannot fathom!)

Great list and I could relate!

Thanks for coming by to visit Snarkypants! I appreciated it! (I'm on the "better late than never" train of commenting!)

Anonymous said...

you wont need those flip flops in winter for pedicures if you have bootie pies- they are boots made especially for pedicures.
www.bootiepies.com

Sarah Jewel said...

I really wish I could understand the Goucho trend. I dispise it and can't, for the life of me, get why anyone would think they're attractive? I couldn't even buy a pair @ 8 months pregnant when anything-went, and comfort ruled.