Unique Things About Thanksgiving 2006

A week of recovery time and I'm ready to relive the details. Here are the highlights:

13. I lost my sausage. I had bought this fancy little sausage to slice for the cheese and cracker plate but when ready to slice it I couldn't find it. I remembered buying it, had proof on the receipt but couldn't find it--anywhere. Very suspicious. I'll probably find either a) evidence of sausage consumption under the boys bed or b) a moldy, nasty specimen tucked away in a corner next March.

12. Andrew wanted his protein so badly he volunteered to go buy me another one. This meant he came back with Yard O'Beef: the Biggest Piece of Processed Meat Money Can Buy. Never send a man to do the shopping.

11. He also came back with chips and lots of dip. Sigh. What? No Fruit Loops? He goes shopping so rarely that when he sets foot inside a grocery store and is given a bit of freedom he goes crazy.

10. I wrestled the turkey in a way that would have won me $100,000 on America's Funniest Videos had the cameras been rolling. I was grunting and struggling, trying to tuck the wings under that stupid, naked, slippery bird when I lost hold. It shot through my hands, arched gracefully through the air, skidded across the floor and smacked against the cabinet in a schmucky trail of turkey juice that made my kitchen look like a salmonella crime scene. Whoops. Just rinse it off and no one will know.

9. Speaking of turkey, I didn't have a turkey thermometer this year so it was a high-stakes game of chance. Too dry? That's why gravy was invented.

8. I set the pop out on the back deck (fridge too full) and as it had been hovering around zero degrees that day I froze the pop. Whoops again. Martha says just peel off the plastic and you have the perfect 2 litre ice cube for the punch bowl.

7. The house up the street caught on fire. If you didn't catch my post a week ago, here's the link.

6. Our numbers were few this year, only six adults and eight children. We missed you Carinne.

5. But that didn't stop us from following tradition and transforming the garage into a play room. Every year we move the cars out, bring out the carpet remnants and crank the heat so the kids are far enough away that I can keep my sanity. We even hang swings from the beam across the ceiling.

4. However, Grace learned a valuable lesson: when your swing is hung from an eye bolt, it's unwise to twist the swing up as high as it will go, because that unscrews the one piece of metal separating your backside from some cold, hard cement.

3. And that part about zero degrees? Well, leaving the cars outside meant that my minivan wouldn't start the next morning. You haven't felt cold until you've had your hands freeze onto the steering wheel. De-icer anyone?

2. But it was good to have the family together. How else would we have known that an un-named relative's ears could do this? I'm not allowed to post the whole picture, so you'll have to be content with a close-up. The top part is tucked inside his ear and yes, the other ear does the same thing. I'd say he--or she, you'll never know--has got a future in the circus or on America's Got Talent.

1. And the picture is only payback because one of those delightful nephews while left unattended in the garage switched off our hot water heater. Just picture Andrew waking up on Friday morning--a very cold Friday morning--to find his shower especially invigorating. It's all about the memories.

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