Friday, July 11, 2008

Would You Like Some Caviar with Your Fruit Loops Sir?

Fantasy Coach from Posh TotsMy sister Melissa received a catalog that she brought over to show me. We both puzzled about how she could have got on their mailing list until we remembered that her name was probably still there leftover from when she was married to Tom Cruise. You know, way back when.

But that's all water under the bridge now and there we were with a catalog brazenly calling itself Posh Tots. Yes, Posh Tots--and no, they're not a round, fried potato product they're a company presumably catering to the babies with money, you know the kind whose parents go into pregnancy interviewing wet nurses, governesses and headmasters?

Well you wouldn't believe the stuff they have in there. Many of their products aren't much pricier than what you'd find in PB Kids but then there's the Fairy Tale Bed for $9,500 (which is admittedly quite cool) or the Chuckwagon Toddler Bed for $13,995--plus shipping (probably via Air Force One). Does it strike anyone else as odd to have the only kid on the block sleeping in a replica Louis XV four-poster bed? That's the kid that's going to rock the hockey team. Somehow I'm thinking that my little heathens wouldn't appreciate have a Catherine de Medici bed set--unless maybe they could use their Sponge Bob sheets with it.

For $6000 you can book Collleen Phelon Hall, a certified Posh mural artist, to come and paint a mural on your child's wall. I didn't realize murals were such a hot commodity--maybe I shouldn't have washed all that crayon off the kids' walls after all and just passed it off as a Jackson Pollock tribute.

But it goes up from there. If the Fairy Tale bed is too proletariat for you can always upgrade to the Fantasy Coach pictured above for $47,000. You know why they call it a "fantasy" don't you? You'd have to be delusional to even consider buying one even if you could afford one. It's the kid's bed that's cost more than my car. And my husband's car. Combined--and then doubled.

Tumble Outpost by Posh TotsBut the best I'm saving for last. If purchasing small Caribbean nations has begun to bore you consider turning your thoughts to playground equipment because you can now purchase the Tumble Outpost play set for $122,730. Plus shipping. It's the playground set that comes with it's own time share plan.

I quote from the catalog, "Call for custom options and shipping information. Assembly required." Because $122,730 doesn't include shipping. Is it me, or for that price would you expect Posh Spice herself to fly out the pieces on her private jet and put it together while you sipped a Dr. Pepper on the veranda? Apparently that's extra. Hurry and buy now because supplies are limited.

And how on earth did they arrive at $122,730? I mean if you had your heart set on a Richie Rich playground couldn't you hire a craftsman to build one just like it for--what? $5,000? $10,000? So obviously there's a bit of markup on this thing and I'm curious how they arrived at such a random number. Maybe they're trying to convince you that it's actually worth the price by being so specific and outrageous--you know, normally it would only be $100,000 but the extra $22,730 gets you the 24 carat mulch nuggets underneath--which they recommend to a depth of nine inches for optimum safety.

I'd expect that Post Tots' clientele pays cash for their purchases because I'm having a hard time seeing someone taking out a mortgage for a playhouse. Hey--that's a good question, would it qualify for municipal property taxes?

I'd be curious, too, to meet the person who decides to spend a hundred and twenty grand on a jungle gym from flipping through a catalog because the thing is, if you're putting in a playground that costs at much as a Maserati you probably wouldn't be looking in a catalog, you'd be paying someone else to look through catalogs for you--like Mr. French or Alfred or something--or you'd at least pay someone to lift your arm to turn the page.

Sponsored by: jaC Jewelry--Beautiful custom-crafted jewelry you'll love but that costs much less than the Tumble Outpost.

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55 comments:

Motherhood for Dummies said...

ha ha! niiice... seriously I still can't get over the play equipment!

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

and if you buy them something like this when they are little, what will they expect when they are teenagers???

Bunny B said...

LOL! Very well said :) I love that Fantasy Coach bed!

Tanya said...

Ooh! Ooh! Can we expect that coach for the next giveaway?? ;)

Robin said...

Their website is great for eye candy, but I can't imagine anyone I've ever met actually shopping there. Then again, sell two of those beds and one playset a year and you've done your annual business LOL. I don't think that coach bed would even fit in Maya's room, it would plow right into the ceiling!

Edi said...

I think I've visited their website before - just for fun of course.

I have seen some very nice playground equipment - but just from looking at the photo you included, unless there is a whole lot more than what is shown - there is no way it could possibly cost that much money! Yes talk about markup.

But perhaps if you are showy-wealthy enough to afford it (and that is not to say that all wealthy people would buy it or would have that attitude) - you don't want to say to your friends yes we got it on sale for $9,999. Part of the showiness of it is its unbelievable price. There are some people that think high price equals best quality and of course that is just a marketing ploy.

Jacki said...

I would really like to meet the person who pays over $120,000 for a playgrou.d Really, I would.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Darn it, you must know that this sort of thing gives me hives.

Code Yellow Mom said...

Whatever happened to the good ol' fairy godmother? There was never any price tag or shipping and handling on bippity boppity boo. And there's something infinitely more romantic about just being able to cry over my lack of mortgageable play equipment and have someone show up with a wand - it does seem quite prole to have to thumb through a catalog and order it myself. Hmph.

Sandy said...

How DO I get on that catalog???

Sandy said...

Oh, and the playground? Just a TAD less than my house.

MiaKatia said...

Stuff like this just boggles my mind. Either I an truly naive about real wealth or they don't actually sell any of that crazy stuff. Although there are some days I wouldn't mind crawling in to my very own princess bed with my two little servants bringing me my every wish and whim.

Diane said...

Oh, lookie! Who took pictures of my yard? And is that my BED on your WEBSITE? Geez, I tell ya. You just can't be filthy rich in peace anymore. Excuse me while I wipe my tired brow with a silken hankie...

Tracey said...

I went to the site and ordered a catalog just for laughs. This will become our new coffee table book to freak out our family and friends. Thanks.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I have seen that bed before! Oh my goodness. I can imagine the catalog would be quite a dream.

Steph

Lissete said...

Unreal. From experience, I know that some people don't really care about "quality" or if it's "worth" the price. It's just a matter of others knowing how much they spent. I would like to believe that even if I were filthy rich that I would still only pay what it's worth.

Channah said...

Holy cow. Don't forget this - the fantasy crib until your posh tot is old enough for the fantasy carriage bed.
http://www.poshtots.com/Baby-Furniture/Baby-Cribs/All-Baby-Cribs/Fantasy-Carriage-Crib/18/2661/1313/12867/PoshProductDetail.aspx

And at $14,995, it's a steal for a crib!

beth - total mom haircut said...

I'm kind of speechless, so I don't really know why I'm commenting, but how can I not?

And you're having a giveaway for the playlot, right? Or will the reader get to take their pick of items?:)

chantal said...

That playset is double what we paid for our house. So outrageous what people will spend. And people actually do,because otherwise there would be no catalog. Such craziness!!!!

Stacy said...

That's one of those catalogs that just fun to LOOK at, not actually consider buying anything from.

Naomi said...

Hilarious. I actually got a copy of that once and was marveling at the concept of dry clean only silk organza crib bedding. Wow. Apparently rich babies don't spit up.

Heffalump said...

Wow...I thought that some of the really cool castle beds that I looked up online were pricey at a few thousand dollars...

cndymkr / jean said...

How many times do I have to tell you, stop taking pictures at my house. I like to live under the radar but you are making it difficult by posting photos of my bedroom and backyard!

Seriously, how do people justify spending all that money? I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Too funny! Are there actually people who BUY this stuff??! Gen--IL Homesteader

Kim said...

Word of warning about their customer service, though. When we had the playground shipped up here, the slide got cracked and my assistant had a heck of a time trying to get it replaced.

The guy she first talked to on the phone was sooo rude. When she demanded to speak with his supervisor, it turned out that Posh Tots was using a prisoner program in Kansas somewhere to take all their orders!! I don't think I'm going to use them again. Although my twins would look really cute in that cinderella coach bed . . . and nothing's too good for my little princesses.

Jolene said...

My husband is a hobby wood worker. I think we might have to go in to business!

Carinne said...

I like the lighthouse bed. Very cool. I've been sent this catalog before. I couldn't believe the prices either. I wonder if some of that stuff they aren't expecting to really sell - they just provide it as a marketing ploy? Just a thought, because it seems SO outrageous and unbelieveable that there are people out there that actually would pay that much - even if they had the money.

The Source said...

I have that Cinderella bed!! My prince charming and I sleep in it every night!

Seriously, who has that kind of money??

Jennifer said...

Ahhh to have $122,730.00 that I had no idea what to spend it on.

MIQuilter said...

Truly, I could think of about a million better things to spend $122,730 on than my kids playset... many of them would even be a tax writeoff and do some good in the world... that is, if I had that kind of loot sitting around in stacks getting bored.

And people think I'm crazy!!

Daisy said...

That play equipment costs more than MY HOUSE DID!!

ElleBee said...

Can't.Talk.Jaw.On.Floor.

Maddy said...

I volunteer for the job of arm lifter. Hope the tips are good.
Cheers

Cuddle Cottage said...

Even if I had that kind of dough, I couldn't in good conscience spend such massive sums of money on play equipment and room furnishings. This kind of excess turns my stomach.

Babystepper said...

Hmm. Your sister must just have that "I have more money than is good for me" look to her.

Maybe they saw a picture of Lucy and just thought, "That kid's got to have the best!" =)

Jenna Consolo said...

That is fantastickly (?) psycho! Whole nations could be fed or vaccinated or educated, for heaven's sake!

miriama said...

My daughters and I looked at that catalog or one like it a few months ago. My jaw dropped..wait it is still hanging open...yeah, my oldest, a mom herself now, and I decided that it is just another one of the sneaky "how you can feel like you did not give your kids enough" things.

Damselfly said...

Excess and waste!

Doll Clothes Gal said...

I though that I spoilt my daughter - this puts it into perspective.

Genny said...

Wow. That bed is too much. And that play set is REALLY too much. Fun to look at, but I can't imagine...

MizFit said...

I swear my smittedwithToddler husband would buy that bed for our daughter if we had the cash...thanks GOODNESS we do not (as I so echo caffeinated cowgirl's sentiments).

M.

blueviolet said...

I would hate myself if I had something like that. I could never forgive the selfish overindulgence. It's sickening.

jubilee said...

The Dr. Pepper is more our style at the Jubilant household!

Flea said...

Oh. My. Word. No the heck way. I'd just build it myself. And I've done my own murals, thank you very much. Bizarre.

The Motherboard said...

Did you hear that?
It was my jaw hitting the floor.

Amber (Bringing Good Home) said...

LOL!!
I said nearly the same type of stuff when my friend and I found this Scallywag Sloop Treehouse on the Sams Club website the other day:
http://www.samsclub.com/shopping/navigate.do?dest=5&item=399805

I asked, "Do people who can afford a thirty thousand dollar tree house actually SHOP at SAM'S??"


I dunno...maybe they do...

Amber (Bringing Good Home) said...

I forgot to mention that I laughed because the instructions tell you you'll need a forklift to put it together.

A forklift.

But I suppose if you can afford a 30,000 tree house you can afford to rent a forklift.

John & Laura said...

I guess you just don't love your kids very much...

:)

Crystal said...

LOL! I get this catalog and I think it is completely RIDICULOUS! I get it just for entertainment!

chelle said...

wow. I can only imagine. Indeed it would seem much more reasonable to hire a contractor. I would when one has that much money if reason is a factor?

Rachel said...

LOL I've seen this before..I love their gigantic playhouses that are nicer than my own home. Also, that playground set? My house is only worth like 135k and it's brand new!

Whomever is spending this kind of money has serious, serious problems. Just imagine what all that frivolously spent money could do if it were donated to charities?! I mean, I don't really have much problem if people with lots of money want to buy expensive cars and whatnot..but that playground is just ridiculous.

Sharlene said...

What rich people will by for their spoiled brats huh? Obviously there is some kind of market for these things. Insanity.

Janet said...

Oh thank God the Queen was asleep when I read this post, because she would have spied that Cinderella coach bed and I would never hear the end of it. Eventually the Mountain Man and I could figure out how to make one, but I'd just as soon not.
I agree with caffienated cowgirl - how do you top a $47,000 bed?

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

My kids would love that playground, but if I had that kind of money lying around I'd definitely get the Maserati instead.

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

OMG - I LOVE this magazine! I ordered to pink chandeliers for my daughter's room! They are gorgeous!!