Recent Family Questions

I’m not sure what it is about dinner that brings out the strangest conversations at our house. It’s as if thinking all day is such hard work that they descend into the lowest forms of goofiness once the salad goes around—here is a sampling of some of the deep questions we’ve been tossing around lately. Feel free to add your own two cents on any of these items.

1. If you could have a super power what would it be?

While Andrew suggested that the ability to shoot cupcakes from your fingers would be highly satisfying there was also a vote for flying and super strength. Me? This one is pretty easy: teleporting. To be able to travel anywhere just by thinking about it would be very useful and would save so much money on gas that it’s my top choice. Though there’s something to be said for being able to turn into a rabbit as Lillian suggested.

2. If you could be a ruler of any country which would it be?

This question really reveals your personality. Would you vote to be the leader of the Free World? Well maybe that would be helpful in trying to right some wrong or change the world. How about a dictator of an African nation with all the mangoes you can eat? Maybe if you really liked to boss people around but me, I’m a lot more shallow than that—I’d vote to be the reigning monarch of a small rather unknown European city-state. All the perks of royalty but without the hassle of actual world leadership. You know, driving around the Riviera in Ferraris, evading the paparazzi, being loved by your adoring tan subjects, that kind of thing. I’d want to be just well known enough to impress my old high school friends but not too well known that it would start to irritate and cause problems when I wanted a quiet dinner out.

3. If you could live a movie in a real life which would it be?

You know, be able to step into a movie and live the scenes? Now this is a tricky one, while I’d love to flash swords next to an elf in Lord of the Rings it would be downright dangerous and I probably wouldn’t survive my time in Mordor. Likewise with Star Wars. Maybe an beautiful period movie like Out of Africa? I don’t know, I’d kind of be a third wheel to Meryl and Robert. It would probably have to be a Jane Austen movie so I could get to wear those gorgeous dresses and have my hair done right—as long as I didn’t have to live there permanently. I like my modern dentistry and indoor plumbing too much to live there for good.

4. If you could play a professional sport which would it be?

This one is really really easy. Downhill skiing, slalom. I’d love to tear up the slopes like a pro with my shushing—hey maybe that would be my answer for number 3 as well now that I think about it. I could be in a Warren Miller movie and THAT would be cool. At any rate skiers are about the coolest athletes there are—with their goggle eyes-tan lines and their wind-blown hair and tanned skin they’re always so hip and chic.

5. If you were to be stuck on desert island and allowed only one food which food would it be?

This aroused some heated debate around the dinner table because pizza was the immediate suggestion but then I countered that you’d get tired of it pretty quick eating it three times a day (and though I LOVE pizza, I think it would grow old). Others suggested hamburgers and tacos—kind of the favorites around here—but once I said cold cereal everyone agreed that that would truly be the perfect desert island food. Cold, refreshing, nutritious (as much as anything) and I eat it every day practically as it is and it never gets old. Never. Though I wonder if I’d get a variety of cereals or if I’d have to pick one cereal period. That would make it tougher but I’d probably go with granola which I love and which would go well with the island coconuts. Or maybe Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I could eat that forever.

6. If you could hang out with a famous person for a day who would it be?

This was tough, I’m not really a celebrity stargazer or anything so the idea of hanging out with a star would be only marginally appealing to me. But all that aside I think I’d have to go with the political angle on this one and say that I’d want to hang out with President Bush for the day. Because pretty much any day would be fascinating and I’d probably get to go to some exciting place or meet some foreign dignitary. You wouldn’t get that tagging along after Oprah though she might give you some cool stuff.

7. If you had to give up one of your five senses which would you choose?

Smell for sure. Not that I wouldn’t miss it but there are so many times things smell bad that only about half of the time would it be a bad thing to have no sense of smell. Sense of touch would probably be the hardest to adjust to because you wouldn’t have any idea of your body’s parameters in space and would have a hard time walking or moving or picking things up. You’d feel like the human amoeba or something—like a ghost. How would you even know if you were wearing clothes unless you looked down?

8. If you could witness an historical event which would it be?

This one is extra tough because there are so many. It would have to be something easily encapsulated into one single event, with a group of interesting historical figures that isn’t drawn out over a long time period. Hmmm . . . signing of the Declaration of Independence? The Battle of Hastings? The arrival of the Mayflower? Storming the beach at Normandy? The assassination of Julius Caesar, Abraham Lincoln or JFK? Hard to decide. I guess I’d have to go with the religious side and say the birth of Christ—is there any historical record I’ve read as much as the account in Luke 2? To see it for myself would beat anything--it would be interesting to have a front row seat.

9. If you could have written any book which would it be?

I know Grace would go for Twilight and the boys opted for Harry Potter (which I’d be okay with—it would be fine with me to be the mother of the that kind of fortune) but I had to stoke my vanity by saying I’d love to have written my favorite novel Angle of Repose. I won’t say too much more about it because I’d mentioned it before but to have words like that come from my fingers would be the greatest. The greatest, pretty much a big stamp across my brain saying “Certified Genius.” As it is I’m lucky to get out a couple posts a week about fighting with security guards at the Health and Human Services building.

10. If you had to live somewhere besides where you live right now where would it be?

I suppose this would depend on if we were talking permanently or just temporarily. Andrew and I have always joked that if we lived anywhere else it would be New Zealand and that might be my answer though living just outside of London would be really fun. It would also depend if it were with the kids or after the kids had left home—I don’t think living overseas would be quite as appealing with the kids but then maybe it would. I have a hard time discounting a tropical location—living in Hawaii, despite all the ways my brain tells me it’s unrealistic, sounds so wonderful that I still dream of retiring there some day. I think it’s the promise of being forever warm. I really hate being cold—my fingers and toes pretty are pretty much achy cold from November to May.

11. If you could be an animal what would it be?

Hmmmm . . . it would have to be something that didn’t get eaten. Or that didn’t eat another animal because I don’t think I could handle eating raw meat. Nothing under water because that would make me claustrophobic Certainly not a domestic animal—I couldn’t stand someone telling me what to do all the time. A horse wouldn’t be bad though I’d prefer a wild mustang to a plough horse naturally. I can’t decide if having people ride you would be pleasant or irritating. Horses are a fairly safe animal to be—and maybe if I was more specific and said Shetland pony I’d be able to live it up without carrying anyone around period. A bird would be fun—flying would be great—though something like a hummingbird or robin that didn’t get eaten. I’d kind of like to have a decently long life span too so maybe a bigger bird like an ostrich would be a good call. Or a flamingo—ooh! I like it warm and I like shrimp and I look good in pink. Flamingo it is.

12. If you had to go and take a class for a week to learn how to do something new what would it be?

Andrew said he’d want to learn various computer skills and while that’s very practical I figure it would have to be something outside of a classroom because sitting at a desk for a week would be boring. I’ve always wanted to learn how to sail so maybe taking a class on a yacht for a week to learn how to sail would be for me. If it were sunny—yes the Caribbean would be nice.

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