Friday, May 01, 2009

This Wasn't in My Contract

When I went into marriage it was with the expectation that Andrew would do the manly stuff like smashing bugs, opening pickle jars and pulling the kids' teeth.

I was wrong.

Please don't misunderstand, I certainly haven't got any buyer's remorse, but the first time Grace came to us with a loose tooth and I naively turned to hand him the floss only to see him fleeing from the room I realized I'm made a slight miscalculation.

He has other wonderful qualities. Tooth pulling just isn't one of them.

So I'm the pinch hitting dentist around here. But wouldn't you know it, tooth issues tend to come to you at the most inopportune times.

It was 9 o'clock on a school night and David was supposed to have been asleep for an hour when he gets out of bed to tell me he wants me to pull out his tooth which is bleeding slightly.

"In the morning, Honey," I said, as patiently as I could. After all, it could wait, right? I have to mentally work up to a tooth extraction.

He heads back to bed then ten minutes later comes back down announcing that he'd taken care of it himself thank you very much.

He showed me the tooth. He showed me the hole and I swear I nearly fainted.

He's got issues with his canines growing in properly and the permanent ones are coming in too high. My guess is that because of the positioning the root wasn't completely dissolved because if you're seeing what I'm seeing it's still attached to the tooth.

He assured me it hadn't hurt and the bleeding was minimal so I told him to rinse with some Listerine and head back to bed. Once I heard the door close I came down out of my calm and collected "Emergency" mode and went completely woozy on the couch. I had to practice some deep breathing before I could be sure I wasn't going to hurl dinner onto the carpet but the thing still completely grosses me out.

And he's got another one on the other side of his mouth that's starting to get wiggly too. I can hardly wait.

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42 comments:

Lucy said...

Yuk! Find a dentist. :)

Jolanthe said...

Our girls don't want us to pull and we ended up with the permanent teeth coming in before the others were gone. Can you say braces?

Here's hoping our boys will be self-motivated. :)

Patricia Linehan said...

I'd be woozy too. My daughter has 2 missing teeth (there were no permanent teeth to take the place of the baby teeth)...can hardly wait for the orthodontia bill. :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

We have 6 kids and have yet to pull a tooth. They just wiggle it until it comes out. Did I miss something in the parenting manual?

Cynthia said...

My son likes to pull his own teeth, which suits me just fine!

jacjewelry said...

Good for David! I never even thought of asking my parents - always took care of it myself, but while I tried to do it sooner rather than later, I always chickened out unless it was nearly ready to come out. :)

Laurie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The tooth fairy in our house glided silently through the shadows undetected UNTIL our youngest was about 10 and under his pillow he had placed the tooth wrapped in masking tape. When the tooth fairy reached silently to exchange tooth for money the masking tape noisly RIPPED and the boy looked up and said,
"Gotcha fairy!"

Jill in MA said...

Your post made me a bit woozy!

Shelly W said...

I've been a parent for seventeen years now and I'm happy to report that I have NEVER pulled one of my kids' teeth. They do it themselves. I just can't stand to inflict that kind of pain on them. Plus, it's gross!

Lara said...

I can't stand the whole teeth thing. When my kids come to me to show me a wiggly tooth I really have a hard time looking. Blech!

Edi said...

My kids are tooth wigglers also...my dd lost 2 molars in less than one week...the second one came out in the night when she should have been sleeping but instead she was awake and wiggling. Course she had to come wake me to tell me the great news.

I think over the years we have assisted in only 2 pulls - maybe one for each child...they'd much prefer to do the work themselves and I'm glad b/c I just can't force myself to do it...just thinking of pulling hard enough to rip a body part from someone :*

cndymkr / jean said...

I feel your nausea. I hate dealing with teeth. Fortunately, I've only had minimal exposure to them and now that they are all out I can relax. I still can't believe the size of the root on that thing! Gross.

MommyJ said...

We had one of those once... except the tooth looser was only four and her twin brother knocked it out with a toy. It was an accident, he promises. Heh.

At any rate, she had massive big hole in her mouth and a tooth with the entire root still attached. She's 5 now, almost six and has been toothless for over a year now. We're still waiting for a new one to grow in.

Kara said...

Wow, this gets me excited for me eventual motherhood. :-)

Thanks for bringing it up, though - no better time than now to make sure my husband's signed up for the tooth pulling.

The image of you getting all woozy after seeing the tooth/roots particularly cracked me up - I picture you as put together/on the ball 100% of the time.

Scribbit said...

Jolanthe--that's David, his canines are coming over the top and our dentist is predicting braces. Great. We've been able to avoid it so far with the other two (if Andrew doens't pull teeth at least he's leant his straight-teeth genetics to our children).

PL--no permanent teeth??? Oh great. My nephew has extra teeth but I hadn't heard of the reverse.

Sub Corr--yes, you missed the part where you shudder and try to get floss to stick to a slimy tooth. So unfair--but you know how misery loves company. If I have to do it, you should have to too! :)

Kara--yea I'm iron :) I do great in an emergency (very calm and professional) then after it's over I go to pieces.

Beverlydru said...

I was woozy just looking at the picture- had to scroll down quickly. A nurse? I'm NOT! Pass the smelling salts please.

Janelle said...

My parents used tooth-pulling as a threat against whining during the process. They never actually did it. Ouch!

chelle said...

I am so not good with that sort of thing. I hope my husband is!!!!

Kathryn said...

My husband and I just talked about it the other day. I will DEFINITELY not be pulling any teeth in this house. Luckily my husband will. His only issue is that it might inflict pain.

My Grandma once did the whole "attach tooth to string to door and slam door" trick to me. It was awful!

CountessLaurie said...

ok, blech, blech, blech.
Next time, can I have a warning, since I do most of my blog reading while eating lunch??

good for you though, for handling it well. had i been in your shoes, we might have had to go to the ER.

Suzie B. said...

When I was a kid with my first loose tooth, my Dad helped me. He told me he would pull it on the count of three. One. Two. The tooth was in his hand and the Three never arrived! That was the last time I asked for Daddy's help with the loose teeth.

My own kids all handled their teeth pullings themselves. I DO recall that my youngest had a very wiggley front tooth during corn-on-the-cob season which prompted her to excuse herself from the table one night and take care of that problem once and for all.

Hairline Fracture said...

My daughter just started losing teeth. She had the school nurse pull one and her dad pulled the other. I guess I lucked out because neither she nor her dad minded!

Mimi said...

that's the grossest thing i've seen all day. ew root. you have a very determined son...

karen said...

Great picture! I'll just be here with my head between my knees for a bit...

Summer said...

Haha! I don't know why it is but I'm just not bothered by those sorts of things - tooth pulling, needles, shots, etc.

lifestartsnow said...

oh, i thought the whole puking thing was something i had to get used to with kids. pulling teeth - i hadn't even thought about...

franzi

Melissa said...

I thought that tooth looked a little suspicious when I first looked at it. You should have gotten a picture of the hole, too! That would have been a sight!! (But it might have made it harder to keep your dinner down.)
BTW, I am laughing with you because I have this (and other similar) duties at my house, too.

Michele said...

No offense, but that is one gross tooth!

Mrs Ohtobe said...

Michelle just a note to say I love the newsletter: you rock!

Kim N said...

That makes me weak just seeing the picture! I don't pull teeth either. I tried wiggling my daughter's tooth and I could barely do that. Thankfully, my husband seems to kind of enjoy it so I can pass the job off to him.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Ugh. My mom didn't pull out our teeth, we just wiggled them until they came out.

Ted pulls them, though.

Kirby3131 said...

I pulled mine out as soon as they felt like they might be loose. I pulled out my two front teeth one summer because my grandmother told me about the song "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth." So I pulled them. I got my two front teeth a year later LOL

Good for your son for doing it himself :)

Twinsmom said...

I was lucky; the twins usually did theirs on their own, or we went to Grandpa, who was a dentist. DD had very small baby teeth, and when the first one was ready to come out, her dad went to pull it. He has large fingers....So, 2 teeth came out at the same time. She never let him near her mouth again.......

All Rileyed Up said...

You're probably better off pulling the teeth. Almost all my teeth had to be pulled because they were just too darn stuck in my gums. On account of not pulling some of them soon enough, I wound up with a couple permanent teeth growing into rather uncomely positions (one of them literally grew in sideways) and I had to get braces. So pull the teeth or plan for braces. Of course, getting braces is a bit of a rite of passage, isn't it?

Patois said...

In all my kid years parenting -- 29 and counting -- I've only had the pleasure of pulling one tooth. It was so barely hanging on. Easy-peasy. But my Eldest worked one out just like David. It was disgusting to see. Blech.

Melissa-Mc said...

I've never had one of my children's roots come out with a tooth. I hope you've recovered.

Madeline said...

Oh, the things I am not looking forward too!!!

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

My oldest daughter is 6 and finally lost her first tooth. Thank GOD my husband was the one to help yank it. There was very little blood thankfully. I just can't handle that!

Omah's Helping Hands said...

Okay, that made me woozy, and those kinds of things usually don't bother me. The child has some roots on that thing! What a mom! Way to hang in there.

M said...

Well, there are a few perks to being married to a dentist (as I am!) and that is one of them!

You should have seen his face, however, when our oldest daughter "wanted mommy to do it." I think he went over his credentials with her 3 times...it would have been easier to get into specialist school than to let her pull it out!

Clair said...

That's possibly the most interesting (yet slightly icky) thing I've read for quite some time :O)