Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ugliest Animals on Earth

Sphynx CatsWe've had our share of animals around here--hamsters and parakeets, frogs and fish, but these guys are pets for people who want to be just a little different than your average animal lover. To be honest, these are the animals that make a pretty good case for natural selection.

1. sphynx cat
These guys inspire nothing but pity in me--they didn't grow this way they were specifically bred not to have any hair which of course makes them rather cold and eager to cuddle with other animals and humans. Poor things.

They were bred in the 1960s and now there are several different strains including Mexican hairless. Why Mexican? Not sure. All the Mexican people I know have plenty of hair.

Proboscis Monkey2. proboscis monkey
Proboscis means "nose." Not sure why someone thought that was appropriate but for whatever reason it's stuck.

Living in Borneo, only the males have such large facial characteristics and when they get angry their noses swell with blood and get all red. I'm really, really glad that humans don't have this particular characteristic as well. Really glad.

Warthog3. warthog
The animal world's answer to body piercing.

I actually don't know much about these guys, I had to look it up and found that they live in Africa (obviously I haven't seen The Lion King enough or I would have figured it out on my own). What The Lion King doesn't tell you is that they can run and jump pretty well and sometimes kill lions with those tusks of theirs. Take that Simba.

California Condor4. California condor
The rush to save these birds from extinction was the most expensive conservation effort in history and I won't say anything more about that. I think the picture speaks for itself. Condors are one of the longest living birds, surviving fifty years. Seems that I heard parrots last forever too--but condors are one of the rarest with only about 300 alive.

Because the world needs all the gigantic, bald, hideous, meat-eating flying scavengers it can get.

Irish Lord5. Irish lord
We catch these periodically out in Resurrection Bay when we're halibut fishing, they're a deep-water fish that are truly hideous in a way that deserves a round of applause.

Spiny, big mouthed, bulging and nasty the only thing that makes these guys uglier is if you pull them up too fast and they kind of explode from the change in pressure. Not pretty.

axolotl6. axolotl
I'm not a fan of salamanders in general, they're slimy and rather creepy with their underwater thing and the gills and the not-quite-fish-yet-not-quite-lizard issue. The axolotl lives in Mexico and is facing problems from shrinking habitats and polluted waters (I'm trying to feel some sympathy here) but in Japan they've got an enormous salamander cousin that is something like four feet long.

Can you imagine swimming in some quiet pool and coming across a four foot salamander? I know they're not dangerous but I would completely flip out if one of those bumped up against me.

elephant seal7. elephant seal
Whenever the word "elephant" is used as an adjective you know the results aren't going to be pretty.

And this is even the guy's good side.

Star Nosed Mole8. star nosed mole
You kind of have to take your hats of to this one, he's so ugly, so freaky-looking, so artistically disturbing that he really deserves a prize.

I've never seen one in real life, never seen a regular mole either, and I guess keeping this one buried in the ground isn't a bad idea.

Naked Mole Rat9. naked mole rat
I guess it really means something that all of the animals on the list are hairless, not one has a good covering except maybe the condor though it's the naked head that gets him noticed.

Naked mole rats really couldn't be uglier if you painted them green with pink spots, heck that would probably be an improvement. I've seen these at the zoo in a huddled pile and it kind of makes you question things when something so strange can survive like that.

Oops! I take that back--the monkey has hair.

Blob Fish10. blob fish
I think fish are over-represented in the category of Ugliest Animals, there are so many out there that you could fill three or four lists but this one really takes it.

It looks--forgive me--like a big pile of lard or a big stomach or something. Like a pile of Playdough with eyes.

I think they're a deep-water fish as well--all the ugly stuff lives way down deep--and I'm kind of glad. It's not exactly a candidate for the aquarium at the dentist's office is it?

Sponsored by K & M Studios and photographer Megan Burgess

44 comments:

Jane Pauline said...

UUUUGGHH! Okay, that was really weird! Especially the star-nosed mole. Where, pray, is the face on that one? That was as ugly as the other end...!

Patricia Linehan said...

Well, out of that lot, the elephant seal was the "least" ugly to me. Those hairless cats freak me out. Yugh. Guess you wouldn't have to deal with shedding...

btw, I linked to your teacher post from the other day.

Danielle a.k.a Yellie said...

I'm sitting here giggling at your descriptions. Your obvious disdain for these ugly little creatures cracks me up. I especially loved the part about swimming in a quiet pond and bumping into that 4 foot salamander thing. I have to say, I'm not even sure I could describe the type of freak out moment that would ensue. Let's just say, it wouldn't be pretty! Ugh, I just got the chills.

Melissa said...

Aside from worms, I have an inexplicable fear of water creatures (with the exception of whales, seals, starfish and "pretty" things), so this list made a sufficient amount of goose pimples break out over my skin. Ick and Eesh!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Next time I'm feeling "unpretty" I will just come read this again.

Though I must say that in highschool I had the thought that humans are really nothing but gigantic hairless animals and that we must look so ugly to the other animals with their thick coats of shiny hair.

Meg said...

Your descriptions are hilarious and your list is fabulous. I probably would have added the eel...yick-

mannequin said...

Oh.. my heart goes out to that Blob fish. Why did God do that?
But no....the Sphynx cat is adorable. Do you really think he's ugly?

The Quiet One said...

blech! I think your list just about covers it. Suffice it to say I have no desire to run into any of these in my lifetime, especially that monkey all riled up with a big red nose!! Hilarious... gross, but hilarious. :)

Allegria said...

"So freaky looking, so artistically disturbing that it deserves a prize." ROFL! Good one. I called hubby over to read this. Both had a good laugh to start the day. Thanks!

Lucy said...

And I thought carp were ugly fishies. And the nose guy? Phooey. I think I've seen some humans with this problem. And the hairless cat? As a confirmed cat person, no likey at all. It's mean and cruel to breed something down to that.

Okay. I'm through. Funny post!

Lori said...

Ahh, the star nosed mole, I know him well. He was on the cover of one of my daughter's nature magazines and now his picture hangs in her room. It's fun to come in her room at night when she wakes up from a nightmare screaming and to see that illuminated by the night light.

I like elephant seals, though, so maybe that's where my daughter gets it from and we do live in CA after all and have pretend fed baby condors and forked over money for conservation.

Chinese Cresteds should be in your hairless cat category (though their dogs and have a hideous mane).

CountessLaurie said...

Every night, my cat takes to "coughing" on my pillow. I will take a hairless sphynx any day if I could get some sleep. But I bet it would be weird petting them.

And that blob fish is staring at me with his (her?) creepy eye.

Great list. (I LOVE PUMBA!)

MoziEsmé said...

I would absolutely agree with most of your picks - and great descriptions! That blob fish is disgusting - I hadn't seen one before.

Though I am kind of partial to Pumba. We've seen lots of warthogs in Kruger, and the babies are adorable! So ugly they're cute kind of a thing...

mamabearscubhouse said...

my son is so impressed with the gross animals that he wants to bookmark it! haha
i've seen plenty of moles. but nothing quite like that...some creatures, to me, are so ugly they're cute..but not it that case, for sure!

melinda

Callista said...

Wow those are some ugly animals. I've heard of quite a few of them before but a few of them were knew, mainly the fish. Wow.

Suzi Dow said...

This list is a lot of things but remember each critter is somebody's baby and deserves being loved.

MommyK said...

I see a lot of Sphinx cats at my job, and they are AMAZINGLY warm in a way that my regular cat never is. As in, "OMG, I need to put this cat down because he's making me sweat." They are a nice option for cat lovers with allergy issues, but they do have some genetic issues too.

Flea said...

Ugh. I think I'm going to skip breakfast this morning, thanks. Yuck.

The hairless cat probably lives in Mexico so it won't freeze to death.

cndymkr / jean said...

I've heard of all of these creatures except for that last one. I was sure it was a hoax. Yikes, he is just ugly. Imagine swimming and having him come up next to you? Shudder. I think I may be better off not knowing about this sort of thing.

Janelle said...

I think the monkey is cute. I think it would be ugly with a red and swollen nose, but I think the picture is cute. The elephant seal isn't too bad, and I don't see what's wrong with the salamander other than its potential to get four feet long. The cats, though...*shudder*...are definitely the ugliest on the list, bar none. I couldn't think the warthog was ugly, perhaps because I just watched The Lion King with my daughter yesterday.

I grew up in southern California during the whole Save the Condors thing, but I had no idea they were pink and ugly. Freakish.

thediaperdiaries said...

This list brought me great joy. Thank you for not adding the pug. People think they are ugly and I think they are the cutest things on earth.

Kim said...

Ack! The Irish Lord is a pretty young thing compared to that blob fish.

SmallTownRunner said...

Oh my. I really shouldn't have read this right before lunch... although I guess that's better than right after lunch.

Laura Moffitt said...

I cna't believe that the monkey not only has a hideous nose but when they are upset it reaches new highest in it's ugliness!! So interesting.

Candace said...

Awe, Michelle...how could you make the Sphynx cat your poster child? They are so gosh darn cuddly! And how about that freaky looking dog, the Chinese-crested whatever it is. Compared to them, Sphynx cats are beauty-pageant winners. Can you tell I'm a cat lover?

Kara said...

Okay - those are AWFUL... but your comments... those made my afternoon. Hysterical.

Lei said...

Wow, where oh where do you find these things Michelle! Lol! Love your top 10s. :)

Serena said...

I am gagging now. They're all hideous--that stupid mole gives me the willies to an extreme degree--but that blob fish just pushed me over the edge.

jubilee said...

The worst part of the blob fish (which is the ugliest on your list, IMHO) is the human-like eye. eek.

Daisy said...

Some of these are so ugly they're cute!

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home said...

LOL! Thanks for the great laugh. Totally entertaining! I needed that tonight! :)

Heart2Heart said...

Michelle,

I think you truly found the ugliest of all the animals at least in this list. Not sure which one would get the most votes but the blob fish at the bottom is definitely wierd!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Christine said...

Oh, my! I think I'm going to Google pictures of flowers now...

jacjewelry said...

Haha - agree with you on the cats! Fur (even short fur) is part of the allure, no?

Mimi said...

OMG I hate the star nosed mole! I saw one when I was a kid and I threw rocks at it until it died. THAT's how much it freaked me out!

Jolanthe said...

Ok - ewwwwww!!! Thank goodness I didn't see these before dinner. :)

The Mommy said...

That is one UGLY monkey!!!

Phyllis said...

I tweeted:
http://twitter.com/pixframe/status/5919728701

Amy said...

my kids and I enjoyed getting a good OOOOH and UGGG and giggles from the pictures!

Andrea @ The Train to Crazy said...

The naked mole rat is my fave. What an ugly little guy! The face only a mother could love...

exotic1 said...

If I ever caught a blob fish I think it would of scared me enough to just cut my line~!!! Never seen such a thing.

Sister K said...

that monkey makes me feel better about my nose! lol

Laurel Nelson said...

I got an email from my sister in law with more ugly animals on it - and one just takes the cake, it basically is a fish or some other water dweller that SLIMES YOU - it can produce QUARTS of slime. THAT IS SO GROSS!!!! How's that for ugly???

cafay1 said...

Oh, my! What a topic! That was an entertaining post. I love how you described it all too. I don't know which one I think was the ugliest. Thank you for the interesting thoughts.