Anyone Know a Good Orthopedic Surgeon?

I wish to quote an anonymous commenter from Wednesday's post You Think You Got Snow?

Please educate children about the dangers of playing in and around snow piles near a street. They can be hit or buried by a passing plow, or another vehicle that may not see them in time.

"Silly commenter!" I chuckled. All the years I've lived in Alaska I've never known a child to get hurt playing in the snow piles. "Ha, ha, ha!" I laughed, "That's sweet that someone is so concerned but we Alaskans are too tough to succumb to stupid things like the laws of physics. We're invincible."

Having said that, join me Wednesday, February 14th, 4:45 pm Alaska time. While many of you were thinking thoughts of romance, love and chocolates I was doing mom stuff (okay blogging) and Spencer had taken his snowboard down to the Himalayan snow mounds at the end of the cul-de-sac to test the gravity in that sector. He'd hiked to the top of the hill, admired the view, strapped on his board, and pushed off to find himself in an artistic free fall intermittently broken by contact with various protruding chunks of ice before coming to rest on the snow-packed pavement at the base.

From my vantage inside I heard this growing sound. Rather like a moaning cry that grew into a full-blown wail. In came Spencer, tears streaming down his face, clutching his arm. His wrist was large and lumpy in a very non-healthy way. Make that red and large and lumpy. I tried touching it and he cried harder. I tried getting him to move it and he shivered in pain.

Now I'm no doctor but I began to think that perhaps something was wrong with his wrist. We trekked on over to First Care to seek a diagnosis and after a impressive series of x-rays it was determined that yes, Spencer had broken his arm. The radius was broken near the carpals in a compression fracture that had damaged his growth plate. Whatever a growth plate is.

By the time they had splinted his arm, wrapped it in ace bandages and put it in a sling the pain had died down enough so that he was rather pleased with his new accessory. We left the clinic with him doing very impressive Borg-like moves with his new cyborg-ish appendage which it turns out is useful for threatening younger brothers, imitating Jedi moves and using as a portable Ion Canon.

I took him to the orthopedic surgeon Thursday morning and after more x-rays and consultations he's now sporting a Gumby-green cast from his hand to six inches past his elbow. They want more x-rays in a week, more in two weeks followed by a smaller cast (he's already planning on ninja black for this one). Then more x-rays in six weeks after getting the cast off and various follow up visits until ten weeks have passed and we're panhandling outside the clinic to pay the bills. Yes, green is an appropriate color for the cast, it will end up costing more than anything else he owns.

So go ahead and shake those heads and "tsk, tsk, tsk" me. I'm hearing a cyber-chorus of "I told you so's" and I hang my head with the irony of it all. My dear anonymous commenter should feel some sad satisfaction.

Tell me that it was only a matter of time and that I should be grateful he didn't break his head playing in that enormous pile of ice and snow and I'd agree with you though I must state the sad truth that this is life with boys (though for the record no one ever lets their children play in the snow while the plows are actually running. I mean we Alaskans are tough but we're not entirely stupid). We've had more than one emergency room trip with Spencer and there will probably be more to come--it's an inevitability. As I've said before, boys are God's reminder never to let your insurance lapse.

Oh, and speaking of insurance, the pizza resistance? (as we say around here in our fake French accents) Andrew's starting a new job this month so we're switching insurance carriers. Since this little incident will be the gift that keeps on giving over the next two months we get to pay our uber-high deductible twice. Yes, twice. Once now and once with the new insurance policy. Spencer couldn't have timed it better. Good grief.

Technorati tags: motherhood, parenting, snowboarding, Alaska