Not Quite My Day

I know Valentine's Day is long gone but its affects are lingering. Here are four things that made this year particularly memorable:

1. Spencer broke his arm trying to snowboard off the 12-foot pile of ice at the end of the cul-de-sac. Details here. I spent from 5-6:30pm at First Care reading back issues of People Magazine from when Brittney and K-Fed were still together and wondering if our insurance has an emergency provision (it doesn't).

2. I sent my grandmother flowers. She's a widow living in the wilds of Idaho and after talking to her on the phone early last week and knowing she would be thinking of Grandpa on Valentine's Day I decided to send her flowers. I went online, selected a nice little bouquet which came with chocolates. "Perfect!" I thought, Grandma will love this.

I filled out the online card, saying something like, "Dear Grandma, Happy Valentine's Day. We love you lots and lots. Love, Andrew and Michelle" and sent it off.

On Valentine's Day Grandma called me and in a rather confused voice asked if I had sent her flowers, she'd been calling various people trying to find out who had sent them. Now my Grandmother is old but she's not senile and I was surprised that she hadn't surmised my identify from the card.

After admitting that yes, we'd sent the flowers I asked if she'd seen the card.

"Oh yes," she said, she'd seen it but it hadn't shed much light on the sender.

"Really?" I said, confused. "What did it say?"

"'A gift like this deserves a big thank you'" she read.

So let me get this straight 1-800-FLOWERS: Not only will you fail to send the messages I wish to send but for no added charge you will include a snippy insult along with your bouquets to confuse and concern my loved ones.

Quite a marketing plan. Daring, unexpected and totally unique. I would have called customer service to express my opinion on this technique but all lines were busy.

3. I bought Andrew Norah Jones' latest CD. We're both fans and as her CD release dates are near Valentine's Day (coincidence? I think not, she's one smart cookie that Norah) I thought it an appropriate gift. Guess what he bought me? A Norah Jones CD. Kind of a warped "Gift of the Magi" thing only without the tears and short hair. We're taking back the more expensive one.

4. However, that happened at noon so when I came home from the hospital with Spencer and his bionic arm later that evening and saw three blue Tiffany boxes--yes ladies, you read that right--sitting neatly and prettily on the counter just waiting for me my heart started thumping. One for a bracelet, one for a necklace and one big enough to make my fingers twitch.

Now I have to say here that after that split second of euphoria and an "OH MY GOSH! NORAH WAS A SCAM!" my heart went from heavy thumping to paralysis.

My thoughts ran something along the lines of: He shouldn't have done this--how much money did he spend--he shouldn't have done that--oh no oh no oh no oh wow oh wow oh boy oh boy oh boy . . . and I shakily picked up the first box.

I opened it and stared into an empty box. Confused, thinking this was a joke I picked up the second and it too was empty. By the time I opened the third I wasn't so surprised to find myself staring at an empty little blue suede pouch. I stood staring at the open boxes on the counter for a minute trying to piece together the puzzle when Andrew bounded down the stairs into the kitchen to welcome the wounded home.

He went to Spencer to see his splinted arm and casually mentioned over his shoulder as he fingered the bandage, "Oh yea, your Mom came by while you were gone and dropped those off. I think she's cleaning out her junk or something and thought you might want the boxes."

Oh.

She's totally right. Tiffany boxes are quite the thing and who doesn't like that color blue? But they're a bit more appealing when something comes in them. Gold, silver, diamonds, even jellybeans would have been something. Even black ones.

But deep down I'm torn between sadness at the cruelty of it all and relief that he didn't drop the mortgage money on sparklies. It's that Great Conundrum: "I don't want him to spend too much but wow would it be amazing if he did" that proves men haven't got a chance when it comes to Valentine's Day.

Hey, at least I got a really great CD out of it. I love Norah Jones. And Tiffany.

Technorati tags: Valentine's Day, love, Norah Jones, Tiffany, marriage