Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Not Quite My Day

Valentine' DayI know Valentine's Day is long gone but its affects are lingering. Here are four things that made this year particularly memorable:

1. Spencer broke his arm trying to snowboard off the 12-foot pile of ice at the end of the cul-de-sac. Details here. I spent from 5-6:30pm at First Care reading back issues of People Magazine from when Brittney and K-Fed were still together and wondering if our insurance has an emergency provision (it doesn't).

2. I sent my grandmother flowers. She's a widow living in the wilds of Idaho and after talking to her on the phone early last week and knowing she would be thinking of Grandpa on Valentine's Day I decided to send her flowers. I went online, selected a nice little bouquet which came with chocolates. "Perfect!" I thought, Grandma will love this.

I filled out the online card, saying something like, "Dear Grandma, Happy Valentine's Day. We love you lots and lots. Love, Andrew and Michelle" and sent it off.

On Valentine's Day Grandma called me and in a rather confused voice asked if I had sent her flowers, she'd been calling various people trying to find out who had sent them. Now my Grandmother is old but she's not senile and I was surprised that she hadn't surmised my identify from the card.

After admitting that yes, we'd sent the flowers I asked if she'd seen the card.

"Oh yes," she said, she'd seen it but it hadn't shed much light on the sender.

"Really?" I said, confused. "What did it say?"

"'A gift like this deserves a big thank you'" she read.

So let me get this straight 1-800-FLOWERS: Not only will you fail to send the messages I wish to send but for no added charge you will include a snippy insult along with your bouquets to confuse and concern my loved ones.

Quite a marketing plan. Daring, unexpected and totally unique. I would have called customer service to express my opinion on this technique but all lines were busy.

Norah Jones3. I bought Andrew Norah Jones' latest CD. We're both fans and as her CD release dates are near Valentine's Day (coincidence? I think not, she's one smart cookie that Norah) I thought it an appropriate gift. Guess what he bought me? A Norah Jones CD. Kind of a warped "Gift of the Magi" thing only without the tears and short hair. We're taking back the more expensive one.

4. However, that happened at noon so when I came home from the hospital with Spencer and his bionic arm later that evening and saw three blue Tiffany boxes--yes ladies, you read that right--sitting neatly and prettily on the counter just waiting for me my heart started thumping. One for a bracelet, one for a necklace and one big enough to make my fingers twitch.

Now I have to say here that after that split second of euphoria and an "OH MY GOSH! NORAH WAS A SCAM!" my heart went from heavy thumping to paralysis.

My thoughts ran something along the lines of: He shouldn't have done this--how much money did he spend--he shouldn't have done that--oh no oh no oh no oh wow oh wow oh boy oh boy oh boy . . . and I shakily picked up the first box.

I opened it and stared into an empty box. Confused, thinking this was a joke I picked up the second and it too was empty. By the time I opened the third I wasn't so surprised to find myself staring at an empty little blue suede pouch. I stood staring at the open boxes on the counter for a minute trying to piece together the puzzle when Andrew bounded down the stairs into the kitchen to welcome the wounded home.

He went to Spencer to see his splinted arm and casually mentioned over his shoulder as he fingered the bandage, "Oh yea, your Mom came by while you were gone and dropped those off. I think she's cleaning out her junk or something and thought you might want the boxes."

Oh.

She's totally right. Tiffany boxes are quite the thing and who doesn't like that color blue? But they're a bit more appealing when something comes in them. Gold, silver, diamonds, even jellybeans would have been something. Even black ones.

But deep down I'm torn between sadness at the cruelty of it all and relief that he didn't drop the mortgage money on sparklies. It's that Great Conundrum: "I don't want him to spend too much but wow would it be amazing if he did" that proves men haven't got a chance when it comes to Valentine's Day.

Hey, at least I got a really great CD out of it. I love Norah Jones. And Tiffany.

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36 comments:

tracy m said...

Oh, what a cruel, cruel teaser!! Yes, the boxes are lovely, the color divine, but to have three empty ones show up on V-Day is just plain mean!

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

Regarding the flowers: never use that company again! How awful. That would make me so angry.

Sorry there weren't any treasures in the boxes :(

kailani said...

OMG! I would have had a nervous breakdown! How can men not see the consequences of their actions?

J Fife said...

I'm still stuck on the broken arm and even worse having to read People - I don't think they give painkillers for that.

Heffalump said...

My husband did the same thing a few Valentine's Days ago, only it was when the first Norah Jones CD came out. The one I bought was less expensive, so we took his back.

Michelle said...

Oh NO! What an awful coincidence she dropped them off on Valentine's Day. And I can't believe the thing about the flowers, that's terrible..

girlymama said...

oh, you poor thing!! an empty tiffany's box? on VALENTINE'S day?

that's just cruel.
but its soooo cute that you got each other the same gift. you must be soulmates :-)

Christie said...

noooo, empty tiffany's boxes, nooooooo! not on valentine's day!!! my heart broke and my mouth dropped open when i was reading that!!! i would absolutely die!!! don't they know the power of that little blue box????

it's funny, i know exactly what you mean about being torn about spending the money and being excited that he went and spent the money... i always secretly think about getting a knock at the door and receiving a flower delivery, full well knowing my husband believes they are overpriced (especially on valentine's day) and i know they are too but still wouldn't it be nice? but this year he done gone and splurged! it was a happy time.

Amy W said...

Not a great Valentine's Day I see.

That was pretty cruel with the boxes...

Stephanie said...

Well if nothing else it was a memorable day!

chilihead said...

I hope your grandmother has a sense of humor. My grandmother would be utterly confused!

I've not listened to much Norah so I guess I better get on the stick.

And the Tiffany boxes? Oh my word.

Heather said...

Hey, at least he didn't get you a Tiffany CD- you know, the one from the malls in the 80's? Real nice of the florist to include their own li'l marketing into your gift. What a crock!

Leslie said...

That was one memorable Valentine's Day!

I feel so bad for your Grandma! I've had some similar experiences with flower places like that. For instance - ordering yellow roses for my mom because they were special, including a poem about yellow roses and then getting a call from my mom thanking me for the pink lilies. Ugh!

chelle said...

ugh that would have been such a let down ... hugs!

That day sounds like a huge roller coaster of emotions for you!

marina said...

hi, it definitely didn't sound like your day. i feel like the past few months are my days.
but you gotta keep your chin up and smell the roses once in a while, before you forget how beautiful some things are.

Erica said...

3. That's absolutely awful.

4. Ouch, it would have to be on valentine's day, never mind norah was one of my wedding songs (turn me on, if anyone is interested)

masgblog said...

re the flowers....that is so unfortunate. You would think that it would be a simple thing to include the sentiment that you had intended. *duh*

re Norah Jones' new CD.....I have to go and visit the store to get that...I adore her...Thx!

Sandy said...

At least your kids have 3 new bug boxes to add to their collection...that was you right?

Ally Bean said...

Interesting experience with 1-800 flowers. I've always been kind of suspicous of them because I used to send an out-of-state elderly aunt flowers in her nursing home, and what she described receiving and what I thought I'd sent were two different things.
I never knew if it was her mind or the flowers that were off.

amyrebba said...

LOL, wouldn't that have been nice. I would have been happy with a card, myself.

Damselfly said...

So were the boxes to replace the one your son poached? ;) Too bad about the flower card mixup. I'm sure your grandmother loved the flowers just the same.

Mike said...

Sorry if I can't stop laughing, especially with those empty boxes. Love it. Sorry you had to go through that, though.

And the flowers .. hmm. Maybe I'm such in a good mood today. But that's hilarious (again, do pardon my funny bone.)


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

Homesick Texan said...

I also broke my arm skiing (collided with a snowboarder). There's nothing worse, but it comes with the territory. And yikes! What a story with the boxes. I'm glad y'all didn't break the mortgage but it's almost more cruel having empty boxes!

la bellina mammina said...

The flowers that GAP sent me for Valentine's read "To Salvia from Calvin, I love you" - I was dumbfounded for awhile until I spoke to him. It was supposed to be to Salvina from Alex. How can they get our names wrong!!??

As for the Tiffany, I would have been disappointed too - men just don't get these things, do they?

Loralee Choate said...

The thought of going to Tiffany's is a cross between hyperventilating with excitement and peeing my pants with feelings of inadequacy.

An Ordinary Mom said...

I think my mind and heart would have been arguing as well ... what a cruel coincidence!

The Late Bloomer said...

Oh, the roses story was awful! I too would definitely write a complaint letter or at least complain by phone...

But the Tiffany story! WHOAH! That would have killed me -- men just don't realize what they're putting us through sometimes. Wouldn't he have guessed that you might have thought something was in them, on Valentine's Day of all days?!

And as much as I like those beauties myself, to be honest with you, as time goes by and I realize that I probably won't ever have any really nice, valuable jewelry like that myself, that it doesn't really matter -- as long as I have the ones I love. I know that sounds silly, but the pretty things can only go so far.

Sara said...

What a cruel, cruel world it is. Feel better 'cause what I'm going to share is pretty bad, too - Hubbers didn't get me ANYTHING for Vday. (Not even the "normal" you know.) His excuse? Well, I was going to buy you furniture, but... it didn't happen. Good thing I like him so much!

Jellybean Gypped...

Chickadee said...

It sounds like it has been a rollercoaster ride for you. I'm mad at both the insurance co and the stupid florist for you. You pay good money to be insured during times of urgency and crisis and a trip to the ER is not covered??/ And you pay good money and trust that the florist people are not going to botch up a Valentine's bouquest of flowers.

Grrr.

K T Cat said...

Luckily he didn't bring home the blank forms for separating joint property during divorce and leave those lying on the table by mistake! :-)

Sorry for the false alarm about the jewelry, though.

Amy said...

Ohhhh that is horrible. I would have started crying for sure! That whole day sounds horrible. Well, except for the CD part. You will have to let me know how it is! I love the first single release from it :)

wayabetty said...

Oh, that's too bad! I love that Tiffany's color too.

Gina said...

Uh,that's no good! Next Valentine would be much better, don't you worry. =)
I love Norah Jones,her voice is such a breath of fresh air!

susan said...

oh my gosh Michelle - what a day! I can't believe the flower snafu and the box thing - your writing as usual keeps us right there feeling every second of it - I would have been doing the same freakout dichotomy of money-worries and bling-excitement myself... this will be one to chuckle over for years! thanks for sharing and take care!

Mercy's Maid said...

I got the very same Norah Jones CD for Valentine's Day. She's like musical Prozac. I love her.

Karen said...

This is just exactly why I love/hate/dread/anticipate Valentine's Day. Feeling kind a happy that it's far away...