Or, if my boys were in charge of this post they'd say "Macbook versing Gateway." Somewhere along the line they've irrevocably twisted this relatively straightforward preposition into a verb until it's become a family shibboleth.
But I digress . . . Andrew recently decided he needed a new computer and treated himself to a Macbook. Having received a new Gateway laptop last summer, I've been used to owning the coolest piece of technology in the house and am having a hard time accepting the Stranger Amongst Us.
All I hear about is "my Macbook does this" and "my Macbook does that" until I'm ready for desperate measures. I may have to buy one too. As you read the post listen for the "dueling banjos" song that should be playing in the background (but of course isn't--my Gateway doesn't do that).
Here are highlights from our somewhat bitter debate:
1. "My Macbook is lighter." To which I say: So what? Maybe if computers weren't quite so light computer geeks wouldn't have such a reputation for tiny muscles. Maybe big and clunky could be a good thing.
2. "My Macbook is easier to use." Yes, yes, I know. And when I want to know how to use my Gateway who is it hurting in the end? Me or my I.T. (information technologies) specialist--i.e. you?
3. "My Macbook's battery lasts longer than your Gateway battery ever could." Bring it on. Maybe so, but my Gateway can outblog your Macbook any day, any place, any time. Maybe.
4. "My Macbook has a built-in camera." Big deal. That's only important if you want to spend hours in front of your laptop making pictures like this: and I outgrew that in junior high (am I sounding bitter yet?)
5. "My Macbook makes funky sounds when it performs certain functions." My Gateway makes sounds alright, and some that could be considered funky, but not sounds it's supposed to be making.
6. "My Macbook never crashes." Yes I know the only stories you'll ever hear of Macbooks crashing are apocryphal--rather like Bigfoot sightings--but if it happens, I'm there with my video camera and I'm going to capture that moment on film for the entire internet to see.
7. "My Macbook never gets viruses." See number 6 above.
8. "My Macbook's keyboard feels better--smoother and sleeker--than your Gateway keyboard." *Sigh* Yea, and we know all about how men love the curves and lines.
9. "My Macbook has a special bullet-proof bag to go with it." For that alone I am completely and totally jealous. It deserved an entire post.
10. "My Macbook shuts down as quick as I can blink." No, really, it does. He's right, it's like the thing has a built in clapper--or responds to the "I Dream of Jeanie" blink thing.
11. "My Macbook has a cool glowing apple on the cover." *Another sigh* What does my Gateway have? The Gateway logo. And it doesn't light up.
12. "My Macbook's cord is cooler than your whole Gateway combined." For this I have to post a picture and it still doesn't do it justice--the cord design is brilliant. Brilliant I say!
13. "My Macbook was used in the last space shuttle launch." Okay maybe he's making this one up but it wouldn't surprise me if it were true. It is one cool machine.
Have you entered the Write-Away Contest yet? Deadline is April 14th--tax day!
Technorati tags: Thursday Thirteen, Macbook, Gateway, computers, laptops