Thursday, November 22, 2007

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Motherhood

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from MotherhoodForget kindergarten, everything I really needed to know came from being a mother. I ought to offer a home study program: Motherhood 101.

1. Human beings can be happy with only three things: a story, a blanket and a bowl of cold cereal.

2. The answer to "What were you thinking?" is "I wasn't."

3. Sleep is for sissies.

4. Never go grocery shopping hungry.

5. Having your child load the dishwasher, though beneficial for their growth, will always end up costing you money.

6. The word "done" has different meanings to someone before and after the age of 20.

7. Everything is better with either peanut butter or ketchup.

8. Husbands are simple creatures. Plenty of kisses, plenty of food and they're good to go.

9. It will always be easier to do it yourself. Always. Though not always better.

10. Potty training is the worst job on the planet. I'd go through childbirth again if I could avoid this step in child rearing.

11. Dating is more important the longer you are married.

12. Your likelihood of acquiring chicken pox, the flu or Plague rises exponentially with the occurrence of a vacation or other important family event.

13. Always check pockets before doing the wash. The time you forget will be the time someone's packing orange crayons and silly putty.

14. If it can be broken, it will break. Including but not limited to VCRs, garbage disposals, arms and garage doors.

15. No one has children for the tax benefits.

Technorati tags:

48 comments:

Natalie said...

Amen! Especially to #10...that's my current nightmare! My TT is up too...here.

Robin said...

#12 is a given in our house. If we've got plane tickets, someone will be sick the week we leave, with the distinct possibility of being too sick to be let on a plane, ensuring full panic mode for days. I shudder just thinking about it.

Happy Thanksgiving Michelle.

Sassy Lucy said...

They all were so spot on darling....I can't choose a fav. Great list.

Nicholas said...

#4 is so true. As I know to my cost!

damozel said...

those are some pretty valuable lessons. "Husbands are simple creatures," I just said smugly to my husband (though mine needs an instruction booklet really).

Zenmomma said...

I can so relate to #13! Yikes!

grace said...

You nailed almost everything about motherhood. You deserve a pat in the back for going through childbirth and potty training 4 times!

Happy Thanksgiving Michelle.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

I've only given birth to one child and I'd much rather go through potty training him again than go through childbirth again. I still remember being told while I was being stitched up afterwards that next time I might need a C-section. I still cringe thinking about it. I gather you must have had horrendous experiences with potty training!

Good list though.

Julie Pippert said...

2, 5 and 11 especially but what an on target list! Funny and true!!

Plus GORGEOUS children...great photo. :)

Julie
Using My Words

No Nonsense Girl said...

you are cute!!!! :) Happy TT and happy thanksgviving!!! :)

Irene said...

Very funny!

I am procrastinating with potty training my 2 yo, she has no interest and I have no interest in the mess.

I really can relate to #11. I was lucky enough to find an orange crayon in my wash a few weeks ago. Luckily, sort of, it was when I washed my sheets. I got a nice orange splotch on the corner which I can luckily hide. I initially blamed my 6 yo - "Did you put a crayon in washing machine?". "No!" She exclaimed. Then my 2 yo piped up proudly "I did it!!".

Darla said...

Oh, #11 is so true--it's my one piece of advice whenever I'm talking to new parents.

Chris said...

Great list!

Mommy Cracked said...

I'm totally feeling you on #7 & 10!! Ha-ha! Hope you guys have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

jubilee said...

My children will whole heartedly agree with #7 and my husband will agree with #8 with no shame.
Great list.

Melissa Markham said...

I agree to all of these:) Happy Thanksgiving!

Coach J said...

Ha! So true.
Happy Thanksgiving, M!

Patois said...

Much better than the original kindergarten one. Love it.

Sandy said...

Truer words have never been spoken.

Lori said...

Wow great list...and very true:) Happy TT and thanks for stopping by.

mumple said...

LOL because it's all soooooo very true!

Mrs Mecomber said...

This would make a great meme.

:)

J Fife said...

Love it. Happy Thanksgiving! I'm off to make your artichoke dip.

Poppy Fields said...

Happy Thanksgiving! My husband would agree with n°8!

Denise Patrick said...

EVERYTHING breaks - that's life. It's too bad we have no way to insure it won't happen.

Great TT list!

Happy TT!

Shelli said...

Love it! How funny. And true.

bec said...

Wait: there are tax benefits for having children in America?

Maybe I could move my three offshore and leverage them?

(ps - #3 has been my motto since the Pea Princess was a month old!)

The Mocha Mom said...

Couldn't agree more with # 9! Great list!!

http://momtoanangel.blogspot.com/2007/11/thursday-thirteen-12.html

Leslie said...

Great and very funny list!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Maddy said...

Excellent - so that would be a Thursday fifteen?
Happy thanksgiving

zamejias said...

I couldn't agree more. Parenthood (or motherhood) is a good teacher. It's certainly an endless learning journey, one that is daunting yet satisfying all the same.

Here's a toast to parenthood/motherhood. Happy Thanksgiving!

BTW, I'm sharing my 30 items. ;D

Sandy Carlson said...

What lovely words of wisdom. The check pockets suggestion reminds me of a Thanksgiving meal we had in a restaurant in Massachusetts. I forgot we colored on the tablecloth before the meal and ended up washing and drying the crayons in some once very beautiful pockets!

Theresa said...

Ooo. I'm still learning. Especially number 11. Happy Turkey Day.

wayabetty said...

4,8,12 agreed with you totally! Somebody packed chocolates in their pocket and we got melted chocolates ALL OVER the dryer!

Fresh Girl said...

I'm not a mother, except of the four-legged variety of children, but I've picked up a few of those lessons from watching my own mom. ;) Great list!

My TT is up, too.

crazy working mom said...

Hah! I love this list. :)

Thanks for the laughs and Happy Thanksgiving.

tiff said...

So so true!
Every single one of them!

Thea said...

Considering I slept on the couch last night because I was so sick, I'm totally with you on #3...

And #1 made me laugh out loud. As I sit here and eat my bowl of Rice Krispies and Cheerios.

Staci Schoff said...

Yes, the variations on the definition of "done" has been an astounding motherhood lesson for me!

And cute kids!

An Ordinary Mom said...

I am petrified to potty train my little man ... who will be 3 in February. He is showing no signs of wanting to learn, he has yet to even use the toilet successfully. I am not willing to fight this battle until he is ready :) !!

Jenn in Holland said...

Oh! I am laughing till the snot is flying here! This is FABULOUS. Simply fabulous.
hahahahahhahahaha!

Tammy said...

I'd go through the potty training over and over if I could skip the teenage years! It's a really good thing this stage isn't the first. There would never be multiple children households!

Babystepper said...

Too true. All of it.

The other day my husband was pouring strawberry syrup into his milk, which Zaya had never seen before. (the syrup, not the milk). Zaya said, "Daddy! I like ketchup in my milk too! Please!"

chelle said...

Awesome ... I think this is my favorite list so far!

Linda R. Moore said...

I'm sitting here chuckling away. What words of wisdom. :)

My TTs are here:
http://www.ravensroads.com/index.php/tt13-summary/

Thank you for this. :)

my4kids said...

Haha Oh this was good.....

J. Lynne said...

I do not agree with #3. Naps are necessary. They are one of the few true joys of life.

Alexandra said...

Naps are good. :)

Your children are so beautiful...you are so blessed with four.