Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Things Orville Redenbacher Fails to Warn Against

PopcornThe kids came home from school looking for their afternoon snack so I pulled out the popcorn popper to make a quick treat.

The kernels started exploding in the microwave popper and soon they started to run over the top of the bucket so I pulled it out to dump it into the bowl. I thought all the kernels had finished popping BUT . . .

When I had poured most of the popcorn into a bowl suddenly the last kernel popped, spraying a bunch of popcorn up into the air. A hot, unpopped kernel rose into the air in a poetic arch, up . . . up . . . up then down . . . down . . . down and right into the open crack at the neck of my blouse.

At which point my unprotected flesh began to sear in a most uncomfortable and undesirable way.

The kids looked at me rather oddly as I danced around the kitchen in a screaming panic trying to dig the red-hot coal from the crater it had formed on my skin. By the time I finally reached it it was practically embedded in an inch of blistering scar tissue and I was suddenly not quite in the mood for popcorn.

The things Orville Redenbacher does not mention on their packaging.

***

And here are a few links to some great things I've been noticing around the internet lately:

* Make an adorable on-the-go dinosaur play mat from Craftster.

* Make a contemporary and sleek outdoor fire pit from Casa Sugar.

* You haven't seen Halloween decorations until you've seen this cardboard castle from the master of paper craft, Ann Wood.

* Check out this recipe for Grandma's Chocolate Pie from The Homesick Texan. I'm drooling.

* View results of Amy's Deep Dish Pizza Experiment at The Motherload.

* The only thing cuter than puppies are these Puppy Pops from Bakerella.

* If you're into pirates you'll love these pirate posters from 826 Valencia.

* Looking for a good Halloween costume that can make it all through the winter? Knit up one of these Dwarven Battle Helmets from Wicked Woolens.

***

Oops! Almost forgot to mention that Karen from Bridgewater, New Jersey was our random winner from this week's Karen Cole Paper Giveaway. I've had questions about how I choose a winner and actually I don't "choose" at all, I go to a site that generates random numbers, fill in the field that asks how many random numbers I want (1) then the parameters for the selection--say, from 1 to 400 or however many entries there were--then once I've plugged in the requirements I hit enter and voila! I've got my winner.

Sponsored by:Beau-Coup--Fine and unique baby shower favors.

Technorati tags: motherhood

41 comments:

Robin said...

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing near you. Promise.

Bwahahahahahaha...

(says the girl who dropped a fairly large bit of cake down her bra last night - in public)

Flea said...

I love the last, the woolen helmets!!!

But ow to the popcorn. Even though now I want to go pop some corn. At seven AM.

Gwendolyn said...

Oh my goodness...I couldn't help giggling about the popcorn...but only because that would TOTALLY be something that would happen to me. :o)

Laurie said...

This is funny. I like the fact that you point the reader to what happened. Too much information would not have been as funny. My imagination took over where your writing left off, and that's what makes it a great post.

Melissa Markham said...

Oh no...sad to say, I have been there and done that.

That would make me not very hungry for popcorn too!

Lucy said...

I can laugh with symphathy because I've had that happened. Not necessarily exactly like that, but close. Those little babies are hot!

Patois said...

But was it a learning experience for the kids? Do they now know a new curse word?

calicobebop said...

Oh No! Poor cleavage! If I had cleavage I might be able to commiserate. Sadly, the only cleavage I have is the kind that I sit upon and if something gets lost in there - it's lost forever! Ha!

Laura Moffitt said...

Oh man. If kids had an adults understanding from the get go life would be so hilarious!

Amber M. said...

Darn that Orville. Lucky he's dead 'cuz I know a good attorney.

:-)

patty w said...

I am not laughing...no, nope, no siree!

I cannot even begin to tell you some of the things that have dropped down into the valley :)

Ow..hope you had some Aloe to put on it!

Mindyleigh said...

Funny you post this...
Well, not funny. But I can relate. I have become very paranoid about popcorn-popping in our popper. The kids just love being right up close to it to watch all the popcorn come out but at the end there are this wanton seeds that shoot out...I'm trying to balance my safety consciousness with their utter freakout whenever popcorn is being made.

thepipers said...

That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

I mean, how much did that person get who sued McDonalds for not warning that their coffee was hot when they spilled it on themselves?

;-)

ShabbyInTheCity said...

Fun links! I hope your cleavage heals nicely :)

ShabbyInTheCity said...

Fun links! I hope your cleavage heals nicely :)

verygoodyear said...

Oh man, hot kernels are just brutal. I make popcorn pretty often on the stove-top and my dogs go nuts for it, but sometimes an unpopped kernel will fly out of the oven and they lunge at it to eat it -- then yelp as if it bit them and start pawing it around like it's some sort of dangerous bug that they really want to eat, until it cools down. Cracks me up every time. Won't crack me up so much when it goes down my shirt instead though:[

Janet said...

ok, OWWWWWWCH!!!!!!

I like humor in my public service announcements, but I'm sorry it was at your expense.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

This had me laughing out loud! Sorry!

Steph

kayla said...

very nice blog site. I found you some how looking for things on our sons irth defects well one of them esophageal atresia and down syndrome and tracheomalacia and so on. Anyways very wonderful, I wish you all the best.

Munchkins and Music said...

Ouch!

LarryG said...

maybe if you called Orville Redden(whatever) he would come kiss it and make it better!

even the very best mommy can get a booboo sometimes... sorry it was your turn

Callista said...

Ouch!!!!! That sounds very painful.

Gayle said...

Okay so now that your pain is over can I laugh and the mind-photo of you dancing around the kitchen?! :)
The White House

cndymkr / jean said...

I know it's rude to laugh at someone else's pain, but I can't help it. You made me laugh today and I appreciate it. Who knew that popcorn could be so dangerous?

Deanna H. said...

Thank you for the great links.

I'm one of the few not laughing about the popcorn because that blister sounds like it hurts.

Doll CLothes gal said...

I think the last is so funny - woollen helmets!!

Doll CLothes gal said...

I think the last is so funny - woollen helmets!!

imadramamama said...

Oh my goodness, that's hilarious.

But only cause it didn't happen to me...

Killlashandra said...

Well I hope it didn't leave a burn mark. ;) However, it is a little unexpected to suddenly see the kernel flying at you. LOL

Isunji said...

that was too funny...err... minus being burned of course! Sounds like an episode from my life. LOL.

Thanks for the warning, I've made a mental not to watch out for the killer kernels. Suddenly pulling out the old air popper doesn't seem like such a bad idea...

Alice Wills Gold said...

That's a warning I would like to see on the package.....cover cleavage before opening. OUCH!

SarahHub said...

Ouch! My sister did this once when she was roasting marshmallows...

~TAMY 3 Sides of Crazy~ said...

I've had that happen a few times, but not nearly that bad! Hope you're okay!

ChefDruck said...

Wow - who knew that popcorn could be so dangerous! At least it fell on you... and not your kids.

karen said...

Sounds like that will be a fun scar to explain...

All Rileyed Up said...

I feel for your flesh... I make popcorn all the time on the stove and the kids always want to watch and I'm like, no, get back! back! I have burned myself more times than I care to remember. I wonder if this is a sign that I should STOP making popcorn on the stove top?

Penny said...

Ouch -- who knew popcorn could be so dangerous!

Amy said...

You crack me up!!

Thanks so much for the link- I am linking up to you in my notebook. That caramel wreath is amazing (notice how I did not say awesome this time...getting more grown-up) :)

Miss you!!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Isn't Andrew a lawyer? This seems lik the makings of a great class-action lawsuit.

chelle said...

wowzers on the popcorn! ouch!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

ROFL...just picturing that cracks me up. sorry. SO FUNNY!

and THAT is how people get rich on ridiculous law suits....sigh....