Monday, May 28, 2007

Dear Children: I Love Being Your Mom

Jordan McCollum at MamaBlogga is holding a Group Writing Project and the theme is "Dear Children." I'm not very good at imparting wisdom for posterity so I'm tackling the theme in my own way: I've gone through the journals and pulled out a story from Halloween 2004, one that shows why I'm so grateful I've kept anecdotal records of my children all these years.

So I'll preface the story with "Dear Children, though there are days when I may seem tired or impatient or ready to melt into the floor from the stresses of the day always remember that I love being a mom--love being your mom--and wouldn't trade my job for anything. Not with entertainment like this to lighten the load:"


Kazoo LipsThe family did some cross-country racing yesterday for the last of our Tuesday Night Races and this time the course was at Russian Jack Springs Park on the other side of town. I was hesitant to go because the rain wasn't letting up as 6:30 drew near but it didn't stop 1000 hardy Alaskan runners of all ages and sizes from lining up for the Halloween-themed race. Though some had waterproofed themselves in trashbags the majority were in full costume and it was a hoot to see everyone jogging in place at the starting line, keeping warm before the race was to start.

Witches, ghosts, Darth Vader, capes were flying as all were racing and the beauty of the event was that for the Munchkin League race there were stations set up along the jack o' lantern-lit course where the kids could get soggy Halloween treats. The kids were thrilled and loaded up the bags with candy--and with such incentives for speed ended with the best times all season.

Funny part was, however, that one of the treats the kids picked up was a toy, a set of giant plastic lips set around a kazoo. You could stick the kazoo in your mouth and from the front it would look as if you had these giant red plastic lips and a kazoo puckered between them (get the picture?)

Well, Spencer (age 8) very kindly and graciously gave his lips to Lillian (age 2) who hadn't got any treats and she went around happily hooting on her horn for the day. However, based on my Super Mom Spider Sense and amazing powers of intuition I'm guessing David (age 5) must have swiped her lips from her because when I called David and Lillian in for lunch and David plopped himself up on the barstool at the counter and smiled at me before diving into his mac and cheese I saw the evidence.

I did a double take. At first it looked as if he’d been sloppy with the jam or something and I zoomed in for a closer look. There, carefully outlined for two inches all around his lips was an enormous bruise/blood-blister in the shape of a set of giant lips.

My eyes widened and, trying to hold it together I asked (oh so casually) “Hey, David, you seen Lillian’s plastic lips lately--you know the ones with the kazoo in them?”

He shrugged very nonchalantly and said, “No.”

I leaned forward, propped an elbow on the counter and decided on a more direct approach. “Have you been sucking on Lillian’s plastic lips?”

Still no. But with a little more prodding I got a confession out of him that he had indeed been playing with the lips and had been sucking them tightly, suctioning them around his mouth. Unbeknownst to him he had received a giant kiss for doing so and (here was my fatal error) I took him to the bathroom so he could see what had happened.

Now lest you think I’m exaggerating, he looked like a small white version of Tina Turner and when he realized what he’d done and that it wouldn’t come off he burst into heart-rending sobs for fear of what the kids at school would say. It wasn’t easy to convince him that they’d never even notice (because goodness hadn’t I proved that theory to be completely bogus?) but somehow he calmed down and believed me when I assured him that he’d live through it. He eventually set off for kindergarten in dry, albeit low, spirits.

It did go alway after a few days, though it’s still faintly there even now. Luckily none of the kids gave him a hard of a time about it--kindergarteners tend to be relatively benign and more loving than other gradeschoolers--and by the time Halloween came it looked fine. As luck would have it he was a pirate and the bruise had assumed the shaped of a rather odd, slightly sloppy goatee.


Also, many kind thanks to Leslie at My Mommy's Place for nominating me as Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Mother of the Week. I don't know that my kids would agree with that title, but it's flattering none the less.

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la bellina mammina said...

that was really sweet.

chilihead said...

Hilarious! I wish you had a picture! Not that you'd post it or anything. ;)

SusieJ said...


M said...

I hope, hope, hope you got a picture of this! What a good memory.

Scribbit said...

Nope, can you believe I didn't get picture? That was before I looked at life in terms of blogability :)

mcewen said...

What! No piccy! Just think, I never realized that they were toys, I thought that they were a therapy product to teach 'lip closure' and breath control!

chelle said...

Oh wow! What a life lesson! hehe Funny about it being pre-blog so no pictures!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Now that picture would have become a classic in your house.

Lynnae said...

That is too funny! And you tell the story so well!

luckyzmom said...

Who me? Lips? What lips? Hilarious!

Damselfly said...

“Have you been sucking on Lillian’s plastic lips?” Classic! A small white version of Tina Turner. Heh!

Neena said...

That is too funny! Sometimes, I wish I could rewind and have the boys be little again.

Jordan said...

Sometimes, the thing that really makes parenting "worth it" is the laughter!

Very funny!

Thanks for participating!

Corey~living and loving said...

My daughter has those lips and we play with them in the bathtub. I will never look at them again without thinking of your David. :)

Meghan said...


That's hilareous! That's SO something I would have done as a kid. I really hope you took a picture of that (though, I doubt your wee man would have appreciated it at the time).

Great story. Oh, and I'm glad he didn't take any abuse for the Tina Turner lips in kindergarten.

Anonymous said...

hi scribbit: i got such a kick out of this post. thanks for making me laugh. a tiny white version of tina turner! ha! thanks, kathleen :)

Mommy Babble said...

Awww, such a sweet story. :)