Thursday, July 26, 2007

People I'd Like to Interview and What I'd Ask

J.K. RowlingNow the question with a list like this is: living or dead? I’m going to go with living because the dead angle opens it up way too much though I’ll be frank, there really aren’t many celebrities or public figures I have interest in meeting. Making the list doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a fan of the person—though I have no interest in interviewing someone who seems unpleasant or someone with whom I’m sure to have disagreements—it just means that they’d be interesting to talk to perhaps. For a short period. Over dinner. And maybe dessert.

1. J.K. Rowling. Okay if I were to have interviewed her BEFORE Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out I wouldn't have asked her anything about what was going to happen. I'd just pretend the book wasn't even around and ask about everything but the book. This would be my ploy to weird her out enough to drop her defenses and then I'd move in for the kill by surprising her suddenly with (and I'm just making this up, no spoilers here) "You must have felt horrible when you killed off Ron and Hermoine . . . " just to see if she'd take the bait and say, "Oh, but I didn't kill them off----WHOA! Hey wait a minute! That was pretty tricky! You can't tell anyone, okay?" Yea, I'd try to trick her into revealing stuff. Very sly, very sneaky of me.

2. Hilary Clinton. I actually wouldn't ask her anything. It would be kind of funny to not really ask her anything, it would probably irritate her a great deal and I can see her saying finally as we're getting close to dessert, "Aren't you going to ask me anything?" to which I'd thoughtfully take a bite of my pasta and say, "Okay, sure . . . so how's Chelsea doing?" I'm just a stinker I know but it would be kind of funny to irritate her like that. I wonder if she'd get angry and burst out under the strain of being ignored--the way Jack McCoy can rile defendants on the stand until they finally burst out in a murderous rage, convincing the jury that they really are, in fact, the killers in question.

The Pope3. The Pope. Just because I’d be interested in his take on things. Plus though I’m not Catholic he seems like a good and decent man who influences a lot of people. What to ask? Honestly, I'd ask him what he thinks about God and how he feels his prayers are going. Cheeky of me and of course I'd never be so rude as to ask in that way but I'd be interested in his answers. If he’s busy I’d take the Dalai Lama over dim sum. It would be interesting to meet someone who is suppose to be diety incarnate.

4. Seth Godin. Because I'm a blogger. Because I care what he'd have to say about my blog. I know I know, terribly insecure and self-conscious but if you're going to go out to dinner with one of the biggest Movers and Shakers on the Net you might as well get your money's worth. I'd ask him for an evaluation and pick his brain for ideas then I'd ask him which blogs he reads and why he reads them. It would be interesting I think.

Harry Connick, Jr.5. Harry Connick, Jr. I saw him on David Letterman one time and he was the funniest thing ever. Cracked me up completely and struck me as a modern day Prince Charming who can sing. Down to earth and funny and as normal as a Hollywood life could hope to be, which isn't really saying much but there it is. What would I ask him? I'd ask him to sing "Recipe for Love" for me.

6. President Bush. This is probably a given but I’d like to be able to talk without cameras or secret service or media and see what he’s like one-on-one. I know what his image is but that’s been filtered through so many sound bytes and edits that I’d like an hour to see him for myself and ask his opinion on all sorts of things: Donald Rumsfeld, the upcoming Presidential election, his daughters, his family, the media, his favorite movies, the cool stuff about being President . . .I'd probably also want to ask him who his hero is. Just curious.

7. The guy who came up with the Mac v. P.C. commercials. I love those and whoever came up with them deserves dinner on me. I bet they’re great at quoting movies. The biggest question in my book would be, “Any idea why on earth Microsoft hasn’t got a clue and come up with a funny rebuttal commercial to poke fun and get their image back?” Of course the supreme irony is that I'm typing these words on my Dell laptop. Ugh.

Ellen DeGeneres8. Ellen DeGeneres. She’s the funniest thing there is—I’d be interested to meet her off-camera. Sorry Oprah, not interested, you take yourself a little too seriously. The only problem in interviewing Ellen might be if she were to ask if I watch her show and oddly enough I have not which would be embarrassing to admit. I actually don’t watch t.v, we don’t even have cable, and unless she appears on the Amazing Race (my one guilty pleasure) I’ll never see her. What to ask Ellen . . . I don't know that I'd ask her much but I'd probably waste her time quoting a lot of lines from Finding Nemo. That movie cracks me up. "Are you my conscience?" or "Es-CAP-ay--Hey that's funny it looks just like the word 'escape!'"

9. Neil Armstrong. That would be cool. I’d tell him to bring his moon rocks. But it just dawned on me that Mr. Armstrong may not be alive anymore. I don’t think I've heard of his passing but I’ll have to Google it to be sure—if he’s still alive he’d definitely be on the list. What would I ask him? I'd ask him if he wrote his "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" speech on the flight up there or if it just came to him. Just curious.

10. A soldier in Iraq. Any soldier who’s had a lot of experience there and probably in Special Ops. I’d like to talk and see what his or her take on the situation there is. I’ve heard a lot of the media’s interpretation of events and I’d like to have an hour to talk to someone who has been in the thick of things to give me their opinion on matters. But mostly about things relative to the Iraqi people--what they're feelings are about the last five years, what they think about the Americans, what they're hoping for in the future. Nothing really original but perhaps a little more interesting that what I'm getting on the six o'clock news.

Candice Olson11. Candace Olson/Samantha Brown. As I said we don’t have cable but when I go to the gym I time it so I can watch Divine Design and get my Candace Olson fix. Or Great Hotels with Samantha Brown. In fact, Candace if you’re busy I’d be happy to talk with Samantha. She seems pretty sweet. I'd ask Candace what to do with my fireplace mantel decorating and would ask Samantha if I could have her job. That's all.

Malcom Gladwell12. Malcolm Gladwell. He wrote The Tipping Point and Blink and I’d love to talk with him. Besides the fact that he seems to know everyone I’d love to see what’s on his plate next and have his ear for an hour or two. I'd ask him who the most interesting person he's ever met was and go from there, maybe follow up with what his favorite book is.

Ask a Ninja13. The Ninja. You know, the Ask a Ninja ninja? He’s the funniest thing on the net. I’d love an interview and I’d bring the fortune cookies. I’d ask him “Was your mom a ninja?” “Do ninjas have retirement benefits?” “Do ninjas vote?” “When did you start wearing your mask?” and “Do ninjas keep pets?” Important things like that.

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33 comments:

chilihead said...

I would not have the presence of mind to do anything in front of Harry except drool. And stare. Like I escaped on a day-pass from the mental ward.

katherine. said...

nice list....I thought I'd pass on this blog from a rather brilliant young writer named Teflon Don who is currently serving our country.

He has special insight into the Iraqis...friendly and otherwise...far more than what you will see on the six o'clock news.

http://acutepolitics.blogspot.com/

From his blog you can link to a zillion more.

Tim Appleton (Applehead) said...

OMG! I love Harry Connick Jr! He's absolutely dreamy! Although I would ask him what was it like to kiss Sandra Bullock....

my4kids said...

I would so do the same thing if I had interviewed JK Rowling!

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

Hate to say it, but I'd like to do more than interview Harry Connick, Jr...YUM.

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

hi michelle: loved your list. enjoyed this. i especially enjoyed your bit about hillary, president bush, and ellen d. ellen is hilarious and so much fun and just seems so comfy at home with people -- i like being around people like that. i think president bush's hero is God. i admire him, i do, and yes, i voted for him both times. i respect his office and him and am so pleased that he does not bring tons of slander and scandals to our nation (unlike that previous guy, you know the one). i liked how you would finally maybe ask hillary something, but it would just be about something superficial. funny.

hey, kinda related, today or yesterday, a lady from my ward sent me YOUR hillary song (to the "gilliagan's island" themesong). did you write that or copy it down for your list? i was amused how it was sent to me by someone else. if it was written by you, way cool that it already got around as such.

thanks for the chuckle today, happy trails, kathleen :)

Thea said...

I think I would love on Harry. I would expect a restraining order would be the result of the dinner.

And that Pope pic made me laugh out loud.

Good list.

Christie O. said...

i so love ellen degeneres, she's by far my favorite female comic! good choice on samantha brown, i can't even tell you how many times that cheery little face has popped up and i've wanted to clobber her because of all my pent-up job envy. by clobber i mean, say nice things. haha!

Lynnae (From Under the Clutter) said...

I always look forward to your list posts! They always make me smile! I especially loved your comments on Hillary.

pussreboots said...

Diverse group of people you've selected for your TT.

mayberry said...

Great picks and questions!

If you don't have the Harry Connick Christmas album -- definitely ask Santa to bring it to you next year. Or better yet ask Harry to drop it off himself.

Irene said...

I love your list. I'd want to interview each and everyone of them, too! :)

Joyful Days said...

Great variety & interesting choices but you do have the past (as in dead) pope's photo up...I'm just saying... ;)

Robin said...

Neil Armstrong is still alive and kicking. In fact, he just visited Israel a few weeks ago as a motivational speaker :). Here's a brief article about it.

http://www.israeltoday.co.il/default.aspx?tabid=178&nid=13405

Corrie said...

Looks like we all share a love for Harry - how could you not love that voice? I guess it doesn't hurt that he has fabulous hair and looks good too.

Ellen would be fun too sit and crack jokes with. I think I'd ask her if she felt like she always had to be 'on' or if she's always so down to earth.

Jenn in Holland said...

Yes! The ask a ninja ninja! These are excellent questions for a very funny guy.

I have a soldier in the family, just returned from his tour. Lots of insight about working in Iraq and what it is actually like over there.

Can I be there when Harry sings to you?

mcewen said...

I heard a great interview [a while back] on JK Rowlings, but it was after publication. She seemed so down to earth [well grounded].
You'll certainly have your time cut out interviewing all those!

JAM said...

Jeesh, I need to get out more. I haven't heard of half of these people.

I'd ask Ellen D. to do the pickle claw for me. She does a routine about the shape your hand has to be in to get the first pickle out of a new jar and calls it the "pickle claw" because it's the only hand shape that works. Then later in her show she talks about how, in public restrooms they have this contraption with these ginormoush rolls of toilet paper in them and how hard it is to get the first of the roll to come out. Low and behold, you have to use the pickle claw to get THAT out too.

Neil Armstrong is alive, and he's been a hero of mine for most of my life now. He's the epitome of class and dignity.

I'd also like to talk to Buzz Aldrin, his compadre and #2 on the moon. He's a total camera hound and loves to talk. Plus his background is MIT engineering so I'd probably ask him to help me with some issues I'm having trouble with at work.

charlottalove said...

Hillary Clinton...LOL. That's my favorite one!

Jam - I love the pickle claw. In fact, I go around telling people it's packed like pickles. It's going to catch on one day.

Amy The Black said...

You ARE very funny! I think you just want to eat a good pasta dinner more then actually get people to spill. Anyway: Harry Connick, Jr. is not only a modern-day Sinatra, but he's funny and has a six pack! Yum. I'm a Mac person, and those commercials are perfect! The PC guy is actually a stand-up commedian and very funny.
Great TT!

Anonymous said...

As far as I know Neil Armstrong is still alive and kicking. As for his speach, I read an article about those words and it sounds like he planned it out and rehearsed it and everything, but actually meant to say "One small step for A man, one small step for mankind." Well, actually he claims that's what he said and that the radio cut out when he said "a"...

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

Hillary, HA HA! I love Candace! Her style is so ME!

Leslie said...

Great list. Oh, how you make me chuckle.

Joyful Days said...

There's a bloggy award that I'm passing to you at my site. You've really been such a gracious blogger!

la bellina mammina said...

Isn't Harry just drop dead gorgeous???

SabineM said...

I WANT to sit on when you interview #4 and don't ask anything.. too funny!

EcoFloridaMag.com said...

Your comment about an interview with Hillary is so funny! And I think Ellen is soooo funny.

Susan said...

hi scribbit,

This is a funny post. Why not email Seth Godin? Writing to you from blogHer where one of today's takeaway is that the blogosphere is about conversation, wishing you were here, So many of us think you and your blog are great TrueMomConfessions.com, LA2NY.com, motherbumper.com...
Best. sss

allrileyedup said...

I suspect Bush's favorite movie to be Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Really Love the Bomb. And his second favorite movie is Meatballs.

melody is slurping life said...

Love your list. May I come along because clearly, we would like to talk with the same people.

K T Cat said...

Scribbit, I've thought a lot about those Mac v. PC commercials. I think the reason that the PC world has not responded is that it is too diffuse. If, say, HP does a series of ads boasting about how PCs rule the world of computer games and are far more fun, then all of their competitors will benefit as well since there isn't really much of a difference between a Dell and an HP PC.

Microsoft doesn't seem to do much advertising at all for their size and power. My guess is that they've decided they don't need to. Also, their advertising is aimed at a different target audience - corporate America.

Adria said...

Now I'm *really* wishing I'd been able to go see Seth Godin in Salt Lake City. My husband had a chance to pick his brain, but I didn't even get to meet him.

Some of the people on your list would be on mine as well.

Scribbit said...

Susan--

so nice of you to say that but I'm wondering who you are and if you have a blog of your own, I can't see your profile from here. You've got me all curious :)