Tuesday, June 03, 2008

How to Get Rid of Tapeworms

How to Get Rid of TapewormsAnd finally, I’ll leave you with a pleasant sort of story that occurred in the car this past week.

David has been on a bug-kick lately. As in the last six years. But particularly the past week where he's spent many hours stalking centipedes in the garden. It’s truly disgusting and disturbing, don’t even make me explain the horror of it all. I'm a patient mother but I refuse to let David keep his bugs in the house. I don’t care if they are entombed in an Alcatraz-like Mason jar, those suckers look nasty enough to eat through the glass walls then kill us all in our beds while we sleep.

He can keep them in their jar on the back porch, thank you very little. Anyway, Spencer and David were with me in the car talking about their centipedes and the subject turned to worms. Then to tapeworms which they discussed at length. (Ha! That's kind of a pun--tapeworms. At length. Yea, I get my chuckles when I can).

At any rate, Spencer then said with all the authority of a mini Jack Hannah-Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom man, “I know how to get rid of tapeworms if you have them inside you.”

“Hmmmmm . . . ." I said, impressed that he even knew what tapeworms were. "Really?”

“Yes, if you have a tapeworm you just open your mouth and squirt a whole bunch of whipped cream around in your mouth and then wait and the tapeworm will climb up your throat to get the whipped cream. When it pokes its head out to eat the pile of whipped cream you just grab it and pull it up your throat and it comes right out.”

“Where did you hear of this slick little trick?”

“Some girl at school told me all about it.”

“I see.” Lovely.

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to wig out. Either way it’s a gem of a story. That's one you're not going to find in Web M.D. "How to get rid of tapeworms: See whipped cream."

***

And as for the winners of this weekend's giveaway (are you just thinking that with all these giveaways your odds of winning SOMETHING have got to be pretty darn good?) Molly from Citrus Heights, California has won a Tastebook.com cook book but I'm still waiting to hear from the other cook book winner and the winner of the Best Buy Insignia Fitness Package from this weekend's giveaway. Check those spam boxes . . . I'll redraw tomorrow if I haven't heard back by then.

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49 comments:

Robin said...

That is absolutely vile. I am completely wigged out and may never eat whipped cream again. Ok, so I lied. I will eat whipped cream again, probably very soon, but I will have a great deal of trouble getting that image out of my brain!

Ewwwww!!!

MRMacrum said...

Hey bugs are cool.

Creepy crawlies are just more puppy dog tails. I kept ant lions in a box under my bed and spiders in my closet as a kid. Matter of fact, it is policy to allow spiders to have free run of the house even now.

You are being such a mom. Jeez.

Erica Douglas said...

Ewww that's disgusting, makes me glad to have a girl :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Darn. I've often considered moving to the frozen North, because I thought the long winters would mean almost no bug population whatsoever. I guess I'm wrong.

The Source said...

My grandfather tells us a story about a cousin of his that had a tapeworm...way back in the early 1900's. In order to get rid of it, they starved the little girl for several days and then held food at her open mouth to entice the worm out. Needless to say, the cousin died.

Makes me VERY thankful I was born in this time period instead!!

Yvie said...

Hahaha! Oh my god! That made me laugh so hard. That story is priceless.

I'll keep that in mind when I'm in the mood to freak out some friend.

Your kid's a gem. ^_^

Wild Squirrel said...

I'm with you, Erica D. Four girls. No bugs. Yet.

Robin said...

Hmmm, whipped cream has medicinal purposes?? I just knew it! :)

We've had a similar discussion in our car except it involved pulling the tapeworm out slowly by twirling it on a stick or pencil.

Heebie...jeebies!

BTW, lol, I just checked my SPAM folder...wishful thinkin'?? :)

Edi said...

Great story! Hopefully the girl at school didn't know all this FROM EXPERIENCE! Yikes. I have a sister in a foreign country and she told me a worm story that could rattle your bones - so I won't tell it.

I'll have to pass this along to my sister for "future reference". :)

Pencil Writer said...

Simply priceless! I must record that one. Wish I could have listened in person.

Kids are so logical, aren't they?

Let me know if the theory works. Oh, on second thought. I don't know if I really want to know.;-{

To all those mothers with girls. Ha, ha. Oh, ha, ha! BEWARE! I was a girl once. I kept grashoppers, etc. in my closet, turtles under my bed, parakeets in a cage. In fact, I remember gathering bees in my little hands--and getting stung, of course, in the process. And my second oldest girl is an entomologist! After she married, I can't tell you how many TONS of bugs she collected in our Louisiana back yard to classify in my house, on the dining room table! And I've captured a few for her to assist in those classes she used to take. I sincerely find them rather interesting, facinating actually, to this day.

Which reminds me. When we lived in Texas--this child was like 2 years old when we moved there and 8 when we moved we had these really pretty, fuzzy black with white polka dots spiders that liked our kitchen bay window. Their eyes and fangs were metalic peacock blue. Honest. They were really "pretty". We named any such spider, "Herman." Don't ask me why, we just did. Back then this daughter caught caterpillars and we kept them in a large--gallon size pickle jar while they pupated and turned into gorgeous butterflies. We even have pictures somewhere of her letting them loose. I think I feel a blog post coming on. Thanks for the inspiration.

Thank your boys for me. What a hoot to be a Mom!

Lei said...

Tapeworms give me the heeby jeebies.

Karen said...

When I was about 9 years old, it was suspected that my niece had some type of worm and my sister put tape on her booty (gross, I know) because she heard the glue in the tape would draw the worms out.

And that girl is just not right today. I suspect it's because of the whole tape and worm incident.

The sad thing is...I'm totally serious.

Amber M. said...

I'm so glad someone has finally shared the "answer" with the rest of us. Way to go, David.:-)

I'm giggling...in between dry heaves...

Tim Appleton (Applehead) said...

Bugs are cool. I think that is a great story as well. I will remember that when I need to get tape worms out.

Amy said...

Ewwww, that is such a boy thing to say. I can't believe a girl told him that ;) So funny!

Melissa-Mc said...

I WISH that is how you could get rid of tapeworms. On my mission we were de-wormed every 6 months, and it was not nearly as fun as that :)

Summer said...

ROFL! That's awesome!

angie said...

How did you not know this method? I thought everyone did....it's the starve them out method. j/k.

Heather said...

Wig out. definitely.

Jen said...

Hpefully you aren't waiting on me. For some reason my e-mail has been wonky!

Andria Sommers said...

great blog, and such a funny story. I love your great ideas and funny stories. Keep up the good work. :)

Mary@notbefore7 said...

LOL! I love the theories and "wise" words of children.

cndymkr / jean said...

I knew I didn't like whipped cream for a good reason! I don't mind the bugs but the whipped cream made me gag.

Janet said...

I think I'll find another method thanks. I'm not sharing my whipped cream with any tapeworms. I suspect that my girl is going to be more bug happy than my boy. The cicadas have been particularly fascinating for her.

lapa37 said...

My 6 year old daughter is into bugs as well lately. She has a bug catching kit. The only problem is she puts them into the bug house and forgets about them and well you know how it ends. R.I.P. bugs.

You are lucky that you are just having to mow the lawn I have done our about 6 times so far with no end in sight.

Sarah said...

i grew up thinking you could lure them out of your innards by holding a piece of bacon in your mouth.

Babystepper said...

My mom was missionary kid, and she always told us the natives used a piece of cheese on their mouths (As they slept) to lure them out.

Lis Garrett said...

I swear I will never be able to eat whipped cream again without thinking of this post. EW!

Diane said...

Hmmm. I wonder if I should post that as a natural remedy to tapeworms? Of course it'd have to be organic whipped cream...

Heffalump said...

I head that you don't eat for a day, then you hold a cinnamon stick between your teeth and when the tapeworm crawls up your throat and latches onto it you can just roll the cinnamon stick until the worm is all out and discard it. Either way...tapeworms are GROSS.

Genny said...

That's hilarious. I love the things kids say sometimes.

AlaneM said...

EWWWWWWWWWW!!
I like all kinds of critters but I draw the line at bugs. Well, at least most of them, praying mantis & the like are ok but tapeworms? EWWWWWWWWWW!!

alotalot said...

People who live in North America can't get tape worms. Right? I can sleep soundly tonight knowing I won't need the whipped cream treatment. RIGHT???

Beck said...

EEEEWWWW!
And the stuff they "learn" in school. It's a special, special place.

Laurie said...

This is only funny if you live where people don't actually have those jobbies living inside of them! Worms and parasites are way too common here in Central America. Yuuuuuckkkkk! Although I am sure your kid is the cutest and most intelligent in North America . . . I can't laugh.

thediaperdiaries said...

Why would anyone want to get rid of a tapeworm. Can't you eat all you want and not gain weight. Sounds like heaven :)

Did You Know? said...

wahhhh!!!! tapeworms!!

Phyllis Sommer said...

ew. ew. ew.

um...ew.

2KoP said...

Congrats on being named a "Blog of Interest." That's how I came to you. Our disgusting bug story of the month comes from a nest of houseflies in our bathroom vent that all hatched on the same day. We were inundated with hundreds of flies. Fortunately, they were young and stupid and fairly easy to swat, but I'm still vacuuming up fly carcasses two weeks later. Gross! For another not-quite-bug and boy story, check out my post called "The Skinny on Dipping" where we encounter a leech and yet more flies at Two Kinds of People. See ya.

Kristy said...

Now that is funny!

Stacey@Look, Mom, Look! said...

I am really laughing at that one! It's just such an obvious solution for tape worms! It's a wonder those educated adults in the medical world haven't thought of it yet! Ha! What a wise soul you have there.

BundyMum said...

I love reading your blog! I came over from...another blog??...where you left a comment suggesting putting impossible items on your kids scavenger hunt list! Im going to read more! :)

MiaKatia said...

Hilarious! I will never look at whipped cream the same again.

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

Pretty disgusting! Boys! I have a 2-year old one, so now I see what I have to look forward to! :-)

mumple said...

And we thought we had it bad with the caterpillars...definitely an "ewww" kind of summer here, too.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

This is going to change the way I feel about squirting Redi Whip in my mouth forever. =)

Amber (Bringing Good Home) said...

Ahh, the "boy" things I have to look forward to!! :)

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

Oh yeah! Just the mental image Mama needed in her head all day. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Hawk eye said...

Oooops, whipped cream as a bait!! great li'l trick. Like the the way the story goes. Any more tricks for getting rid of worms?

Waiting.........