Why Can't I Get Laughs Like That?

For so long we've been eating at various points in the kitchen because the table was buried under construction rubble that we thought we'd really go fancy Sunday night, dig out the table and actually eat together as a family rather than as a herd of grazing cattle. Something about being there all together again made everyone a little goofy and we were enjoying the time enough that I said, "Okay, I've got the funniest joke in the world--who wants to hear it?"

"Me! Me! Me!"

"Okay, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson went on a camping trip. They pitched their tent and went to bed but in the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and, turning to Watson, says, 'Watson, look up and tell me what you see?'

"'Well,' said Watson, "I can see stars. Beautiful stars.'

"'And what do you think this means?' Holmes asks.

"'Well I think it means that there is an organization to the universe, that the stars and planets are governed by principles we've only begun to understand, that there is order amid the seeming chaos.'

"'Watson,' says Holmes. 'You idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!'"

At this point I cracked up, laughing at my own joke which I never get tired of hearing but around the table were polite chuckles. The younger kids didn't get it. Andrew got it but had heard it before. Grace got it but didn't think it was that funny. I ask: What is wrong with these people??

But after my demonstration of comedic failure Lillian decided that it was her opportunity for stardom so she raised her hand (she's learned that much in school) and said, "I've got one! I've got one!"

"Okay, tell us your joke Lily."

"What does a cow say when he's all out of milk?"

"I don't know Lillian, what does a cow say when he's out of milk?"

"GIVE ME SOME MILK!"

At which point the whole table busted up laughing. I'm not sure why--it surely wasn't the timing or the word art but boy it was funny, especially as a bitter irony against my pathetic attempt at humor.

So then it was David's turn. He insisted that he had a terrific joke that he'd made up all by himself so we politely said, "Okay, let's hear it."

"What do you call the wife of a lawyer?"

"Uh--I don't know. What do you call her?"

"SUE!"

We were so floored, so entirely whupped by the unexpected funny of the moment that we laughed and laughed for half a minute before drying our eyes and asking, "No, really David did you really make that up?"

"Yea, all by myself."

"Oh come one, you really made that one up?"

"Sure I did!"

"Are you SURE you didn't hear it somewhere else and maybe are just repeating it for us?"

"No!" He started to get a little irritated. "I made it up. You want to hear another one?"

"Okay . . . "

He thought for a minute, staring off into space a bit then said, "What do you call the wife of a jewelryist?"

"Do you mean jeweler?"

"Yea, a jeweler. What do you call HIS wife?"

"I don't know."

"Ruby!"

Which made us all snicker again. Not as good as the first but still not bad for a nine year-old stand up.

What does this mean that a six year-old and a nine year-old with made up jokes can get a bigger laugh than I can? I tell you what it means. It means I was obviously born to be the straight man in this operation. That is so unfair. She who cooks and washes underwear deserves to get the biggest laughs at the dinner table, it's in the Mom Code somewhere.

Whether or not you think my Sherlock Holmes joke is funny THIS cracked me up.

There are other great videos at College Humor--like The Matrix Runs on Windows which is also a hoot. Oh how I love my Mac . . .

***

I'm still waiting on the winner of this week's giveaway to respond and claim their Peek portable email reader. I'll draw again tomorrow morning if I haven't heard back soon.

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