Monday, May 11, 2009

The Best Mother's Day Present

Spencer on the TrampolineWe've been in our home for almost eight years now and I love our neighborhood. We have this nice couple on one side who walk their dogs every day and never seem to get tired of throwing my boys' baseballs back over the fence when there's a wild pitch during a game.

Cain still lives across the street though we don't see him as much since his mom remarried and opened a bakery in midtown (if you've missed the introduction to Cain you can get updated here, here, here and here) but he rings our doorbell every so often to fill us in on his busy life.

But last fall the house on the other side of us went up for sale and after making it through the tough housing market finally sold and I'm guessing I'm going to be able to find quite a few blog posts from the family that moved in.

The parents are very nice and they have three boys and these kids are total boys. While child psychologists warn us that children are spending too much time indoors in front of the television these guys are out stomping in the water running in the gutter past my driveway. Dressed at Batman and wielding medieval weaponry.

Lillian and David are thrilled to have some new kids to play with and every day this spring they've been hanging out with their new friends, running after each other and playing games or taking turns jumping on the neighborhood trampolines. Usually with enough noise to be heard from space. I love living in such a family-friendly neighborhood with parents that actually allow their kids to play.

But Saturday David came home from jumping at their house with this horrified look on his face. I was in the middle of transplanting my kiwi vine and prize peony so I was having a hard time giving him my full attention but the gist of the story was this:

"It all started with the cranberry juice," David said, which right there tells you the story is going to be good--how many stories can attribute plot to fruit products? It's been our quote of the weekend around here.

Apparently our three little neighbor boys were drinking juice and jumping on the trampoline when one of them got the bright idea to start removing clothing. All of it. Of course you have to remember that it's only about 50 degrees outside but we're talking boys here and apparently it seemed like a good idea at the time. From time to time I've looked up from my work at the kitchen sink to notice they seem to favor underwear-style jumping in even colder temperatures and have chuckled to myself.

Anyway, clothes began coming off and pretty soon the cranberry juice was gone so what do three naked boys do when they're on a trampoline in the spring sunshine with empty cups in their hands, full bladders, and total freedom from social repression?

Of course. They fill their cups. To the top. And not with cranberry juice.

Can you tell I'm trying to be delicate here? This is the point in the story when I stopped my spring transplanting and turned around to give my full attention to this highly entertaining story and my son who for all his ten years was utterly and completely shocked like some elderly New England school marm.

So pretty soon these naked boys--much to David's dismay--started jumping around with their cups full of "mystery" liquid and you can imagine how well gravity took to the idea. Pretty soon they were watering the trampoline, the pads, nearby bushes, anything within range of their sloshing cups and David at this point decided that the party was no longer for him and he started to take off in a panic run. Home, that is. Not his clothes. He's kind of past that point though there was a time when he probably would have joined in the fun.

It was at this point that their mother happened to look up--and I so feel for her, I swear I've been in that spot before when you glance up from your work only to realize that things have suddenly gone very very wrong and your children are possessed--and she noticed her naked sons enjoying their freedom and new-found irrigation talents and ran outside to stop the madness.

She stopped David from running away to get the full story from him but he was really not in the mood. He's now a very manly little 10 year-old and had no interest in reliving the horror of the moment by putting into words the scene he'd been forced to witness.

"But she made me tell her what happened!" He said in this shocked voice as if she'd waterboarded him or something.

He waited for me to mirror the horror he felt once his story was complete but instead I sat on the steps and laughed. It was one of those moments when I completely remember what it felt like to have your child naked in the middle of the grocery store or streak through the picnic because they were sure they needed more sunblock (another true story that the child in question won't allow me to print) and I'm sure on her end it was mortifying but I have to say it gave me my entertainment for the day and for that I'm grateful.

The boys have since apologized and scrubbed down the trampoline (though David seems to be rather skeptical of it all) but it all kind of feels like a suburban reenactment of Lord of the Flies with cranberry juice and a trampoline instead of a pig hunt.

So to our wonderful new neighbors, thanks for the chance to remember and enjoy those funny embarrassing moments that I don't seem to get any more now that my own kids are so darn mature. And hey, better you than me right?

49 comments:

Peruby said...

Oh, wow! I thought that story was going to be about the juice coming out from the mouth with all that bouncing around.

The Source said...

TOO FUNNY! Boys WILL be entertained...one way or another. And if they get bored...watch out!

One Mom said...

LOL! It looks like you need never worry about running out of material for blog posts! We too have new neighbors on each side of us but they are all under the age of 6...I guess I'll have to wait a little longer for some rowdy adventures!

Mrs.Ohtobe said...

Too funny! What is sad is I can see grown men doing the same thing at a family BBQ. Not 'our' family BBQs of course, not us at all.

Lucy said...

I too had my imagination headed a whole 'nother way. Funny ending though. Boys! And just think. They grow up to be Men!

Jolanthe said...

If we lived near you, I have a feeling Zachary would have so been involved in the madness...especially since he and McKenna were found doing a little more than peeing in my garden last year.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

That's so funny. I can just see your son being horrified.

NorahS said...

Wow! Those are great neighbors. I can't wait to hear more about them! My only child is a daughter so I love boy stories.

jacjewelry said...

That is hilarious! What a marvelous story! Do your neighbors read your blog? :)

Kathy G said...

Your neighbors are lucky to have you living next door to them, as you laughed it off instead of screaming at them!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh dear. Sounded just like my boys up to the cranberry juice part. I don't know how I would have handled that!!!

Neas Nuttiness said...

As much as I hate the cold...I'm ready to pack up and move to your neighborhood. Sounds like it's just the right place to live, and have my grandsons come to visit.
Thanks for the laughs!

Marketing Mama said...

That's hilarious. I find it interesting the mother turned to your son for the truth. I bet that was awful for him... so while they are bouncing up and down naked the pee is just flying everywhere?

Wow. :)

Jenna Consolo said...

Leave it to the boys, right? Only boys would even think of something like that.

MommyTime said...

Now, see, I was all prepared for a post about how dangerous it is to jump on a wet trampoline (based on that photo). But you certainly made it funnier than that! This is a great story.

tjhirst said...

I thought you were going to say you bought a trampoline! Much better to laugh with you over this story than be jealous that you were out there jumping with my kids--my long lost dream once we consulted our insurance agent.

Melissa B. said...

What a Mother's Day gift! The story, not the mess the boys created. I'm always up for a good belly laugh, especially if I don't have to clean up the mess!

fruitfulwords said...

How funny! I can just see my son joining in with that madness. I have my own "outside" peeing stories based on his life. :-)

Kelly @ Love Well said...

This is the story I will tell my husband at dinner tonight -- although I might tell him quietly so the kids don't hear and get any ideas.

Laughter is the BEST gift. Thanks for sharing it to all of us today, Michelle.

Summer said...

Hahaha! That's an awesome story! As long as there are children in the world, blog fodder will never be lacking.

Carinne said...

We had a little experience like that this weekend - by similar I mean in which another child provided laugher and memories of other times with my kids. Clara had a birthday party on Saturday and after not getting all the candy he thought he deserved from the pinata, one boy was in a foul mood the rest of the party. When his father picked him up, and asked him if he had a good time, the little answered in a quite grumpy and irritated voice "NO!". The parents were mortified and kept apoligizing all during church. They said they took his candy away and then made him call us and apoligize. It gave us a few chuckles, as we've been there more than once.

Melissa said...

Too funny - including the grocery store story!! I needed those laughs this morning! I may need to bookmark this post, too. I have a feeling I will need to remember the humor - especially as my boys get older. ;)

ewe are here said...

hahahahahaha

And sadly/funnily, I can totally see my two boys doing something like that. Something about that 'y' chromosome...

ThisFullHouse said...

Heh, I'm still giggling over the "Suburban Lord of the Flies" crack and have definitely decided on not getting a trampoline, maybe. Or, post a sign with, "P is for Precaution Before Entering" or, something like that.

Scribbit said...

Liz--apparently P isn't just for precaution around here :)

And to those thinking about a trampoline I have to say that we've had one since we've been in our house and it's been fun. We called our insurance agent too (State Farm) and they said there was no issue with insurance (don't know if that helps, all policies are different I'm sure).

And about the time we bought it I saw a piece in the paper saying that statistically trampolines are much safer than bikes. Kind of the flying-is-safe-than-driving thing if you can believe it.

Just food for thought :)

Babystepper said...

I have to admit I sat here with my mouth open. Hilarious!

It could've been worse, I suppose. Instead of cups they could've filled super soakers and shot it at your son instead of only in his presence.

Flea said...

OMG! I just read this out loud to my 15 year old boy and laughed and laughed! I remember these days! And my boy - the older of two - is also a prudish school marm. He just smirked. This is GOLD.

Alison Kelley said...

What a fabulous tale! It had my full attention and I was happily chuckling away as I was reading it. I've got 3 boys and my two older ones (they're 10 and 8) sound more like your son but my third one (he's almost 5), well he would have go all the way. Too funny, thanks for sharing such an entertaining story!

Mike said...

Hope you have more days like this.

:)

Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com
Twitter: AboutParenting

Kathryn said...

And I was just thinking how fun it would be to have a trampoline.... LOL

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Too funny. I'm guessing the kids are in for a FUN summer.

alotalot said...

That might be the best story every. I really wish I was getting new neighbors!

Alice Wills Gold said...

Hilarious...and this is so my kind of story...so glad to have all girls...although even though I do, I can remember a time when a good friend of mine got a little freaked because my daughter was trying to teach her daughter how to pee in the yard...our neighbor had taught her the convenience of not going in the house....hmmmm...maybe our previous neighbor Hailey has trained your next door neighbors too.

imadramamama said...

Oh. My.

Oh my.

I cannot even imagine...

Courtney said...

you are too funny and such a supportive/nice neighbor! Boys definitely will be boys. I only have one right now and totally pictured him a few years old making an appearance in your story :)

Terresa said...

this is so funny! The wild frontier of childhood & youth...thankfully we can revisit it with our own children plenty of times before it's gone for good.

Thanks for sharing. The laugh was well-needed!

Jane Hamilton said...

LoL! Boys will be Boys! This is a really funny story...

char said...

LOL! LMAO! That is such a great story. I have 3 boys and I love it. Glad we don't have a trampoline yet, but soon. I'll have to keep this story in mind when we do get one :-)

poppy fields said...

Funny story. I'm not sure I'm out of the woods yet with my 9 year old. She gets some of the weirdest ideas...

Serena said...

"It all started with the cranberry juice..." Heeheehee! This story is hilarious! My mom has eight brothers, so you can imagine the harrowing tales she has to tell. They didn't have a trampoline, though...

Cynthia said...

This had me laughing out loud...oh what kids will do!

Kristen M. said...

Great story (do your neighbors read your blog?)

Madeline said...

Thanks for the good laugh! Oh, my. Boys, boys, boys. Can't wait to see what crazy adventures mine thinks up as he gets a bit older.

chelle said...

HAHAHAHAHA that is awesome!

laughingatchaos said...

What is it with boys!? LOL! They are just stories waiting to happen and I love it! This one tops anything that's happened here...so far. ;)

Hairline Fracture said...

Hahaha! So far my 3 yo son hasn't figured out that he could pee outside. I'm sure that is short-lived, though.

jubilee said...

Oh my. How funny. Thanks for sharing.

Mean Mommy said...

Oh I am laughing so hard I almost peed on mySELF! I have three boys, too, and I found this story sooooo familiar in so many ways. Thank you for sharing and for making me feel not so alone in MY crazy world! If your neighbor reads this, she has my utmost empathy. I almost feel normal now! LOL

Melissa-Mc said...

Boys will be boys. When you get into the mind of a little boy, their succession of events totally makes sense :)