Best Urban Legends

More Halloween lists! If best/worst villains didn't get you, how about the best urban legends?

The thing is . . . these are actual, urban legends and it's going to be kind of like that game where you tell two true things about yourself and one thing that isn't true and everyone has to guess what is false. One of these things is true and the rest aren't. Which one is it??

And no fair Googling! Goolgers will be flogged.

1. Mr. Rogers used to be a Navy Seal with a long kill record
Fred Rogers of PBS and sweater fame, was at one point in his life a sniper for the U.S. Marines. Yes, the man who zipped up his sweater and played with puppets was a whole different guy with a scope and a weapon and rumor has it he had 150 kills. True or untrue?

2. Putting sugar in your gas tank will ruin the engine.
Speaking of killing . . . this one says that if you put sugar into a gas tank it will dissolve in the gasoline, head into the engine then the heat will cause the sugar to caramelize, completely clogging the system.

I know I've heard this one before. But is it true or false?

3. Chicago man dies of African spider bite in airplane lavatory.
A rare species of poisonous African spiders caught a ride in an airplane lavatory and bit an unsuspecting man on the bottom when he sat down. The spiders have spread and citizens are encouraged to check under toilet seats before sitting down. Believe it?

Will you be checking for little black buddies the next time you're in a public restroom?

4. Little boy needs transplant to replace the burlap sack that now serves as his trunk.
The family of William (Billy) Evans sent out a nationwide plea for help because they were too poor to afford the operation that would replace the artificial body his doctors created for him--a burlap sack full of leaves--with a real torso.

It's heart-rending, yes, but is it true? Oh come on--do you really believe this?

5. Ground glass is a deadly poison.
I don't know that this needs any further explanation--you understand ground glass and you understand poison. What more is there?

So is it true? Anyone care to ingest some of the stuff to test it out?

6. If a bank fails the FDIC pays depositors for their losses.
You're aware that since the 1929 crash and the Depression that the FDIC insures its banks against failure which means--in a nutshell-- that if a bank should go bust then the FDIC will step in and pay back the money you've deposited, up to the sum of $100,000 per depositor. Yes or no? How much are you willing to bet?

7. "Mikey" from the Life cereal commercials choked to death.
Ingesting a deadly combination of soda and pop rocks (or perhaps ground glass??) he choked on the subsequent fumes of carbon dioxide and asphyxiated.

True or no?

So many legends, so little truth . . . is this one of them?

8. Fingernails and hair continue to grow after death.
Because fingernails and hair are produced from dead skin cells they continue to grow for a period after death as seen in interred bodies where the nails and hair have become longer.

Yes or no? Who wants to dig around and find out if it's true?

9. Prostitutes can avoid being arrested by asking johns "Are you a cop?"
According to state laws cops are required to truthfully state that they are law enforcement officers (like you see on cop shows, the police bust into a house and yell, "POLICE!") and therefore if they are confronted by the question "are you a cop?" they must answer in the affirmative or risk being sacked.

True or false?

10. Disney's Tinkerbell was modeled after Marilyn Monroe.
We've heard it before, the hips are familiar, nothing more to add here. It pretty much speaks for itself. True or false?

11. The Army uses "Stress Cards" to help with new recruits.
In an effort to help prevent PTSD and other mental stresses of combat new recruits are now being issued "Stress Cards" at boot camp which are to be shown to commanding officers and drill sergeants and, when shown, require that soldiers be given gentler treatment. I really hope this one is true . . . for the sake of the soldiers.

Maybe they'll start issuing these things to the guys at Git-Mo too. If it's good for the troops maybe it's good for Al-Quaida? Are you stressed? Then flash that card.

12. A freighter carrying a load of tapioca nearly sank when a fire broke out, cooking the cargo.
A fire broke out aboard the freighter and when crews worked to put out the fire with lots of water the resulting mixture heated quite nicely and nearly burst through the walls of the hold. Mmmmm . . . tapioca . . . yes or no?

13. Flashing your lights at a traffic signal will cause the light to turn from red to green.
If you approach an intersection and flash your lights the electronic sensors on the traffic lights will see the flash, assume you are an emergency vehicle and change to green to allow you to pass.

You know you're going to try it.

14. Cabbage patch dolls were designed in preparation for a nuclear holocaust.
Cabbage Patch Dolls, with their unusually puckered and bizarre faces, were specifically designed to get people accustomed to the appearance of mutants following a nuclear disaster.

I'd believe it.

15. Woman dies of spiders housed in hair.
When a woman in New York died and doctors preformed the autopsy it was determined that she'd been killed by multiple spider bites coming from a nest of spiders in her bouffant hair style.

Next time your scalp itches and you reach up to scratch you're going to think of this. Is it true?

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No snow yet . . . but you can still enter this month's Write-Away Contest. It's going to leave you shaking in your boots.

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