Friday, April 30, 2010

The Most Expensive House in the World

World's Most Expensive HomeSpeaking of the subject of narcissism (as it seems I have for a couple weeks now) how about this one?

Mukesh Ambani is the world's fifth richest man, worth approximately $43 billion dollars, and he's building the world's first billion-dollar home. Actually, those interested in trying to strip him of the title and "keeping up with the Guptas" will have to go farther than that because as it's under construction in Mombai, the home is actually worth close to $2 billion dollars (so far) and is a towering tribute to uh . . . to uh . . . money? Ambition? Industry? I'm not sure, all I know is that for your dollar this home is the ugliest thing per square foot that I've ever seen. And I know, I've seen some ugly homes in my time.

It looks like they took a bunch of stands from Wrigley field, stacked them on top of each other then added a LOT of plants without the benefit of actually getting to see the Cubs play.

Ambani is the son of the founder of Reliance Industries, the biggest company in India, and I suppose it would be like Bill Gates' son deciding to build a skyscraper in Seattle for his family. Besides the yoga study, swimming pool and four-story, open-air gardens the home boasts an ice room where you can beat the Mombai heat with man-made snow flurries. Nice.

I've heard (Dad told me about this while we were in India) that he's going to be housing 17-20 of his relatives so he really needs the extra space. Apparently the home where the family with their three children are currently struggling to get by is a 22-floor tower in downtown Mombai that they've remodeled to fit their needs but just can't seem to make work.

I don't know . . . everyone has their weaknesses and I guess mine isn't big homes (it's donuts). I don't like walking into a home and feeling small, instead I want to feel comfortable and something tells me this isn't a relaxing place to hang out. Not with marble bleachers, gold and 17-20 of your closest relatives--but then maybe that's why they've got the yoga studio included.

Ohmmmmmm. . . .

Sponsored by Overstock.com for free online coupons.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Grace's Fish

Paper Mache FishGrace (16) is taking an art class with plans to one day become a graphic designer (which she will be fabulous at, by the way) and for their latest assignment they were supposed to make fish.

Paper Mache Busts"Fish?" I said.

"Yes, fish," she said.

And I didn't pay much attention to it until she came home with a ball of newspaper--a paper mache mess of masking tape and fabricated fins but each day it was bigger and more defined until she finally had the form completed and, oddly enough, it really did look just like a fish.

By the time she'd finished painting and glazing it was beautiful. I keep telling her she needs to put her talents to work and make more--I love these paper mache busts from Anthropolgie. While I'm not a fan of real dead animals on my wall I can see great possibilities for decorating with what Grace might be able to produce. That girl has definite talent.

Sponsored by Sorella Jewelry Studio for fine personalized jewelry.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Are You Raising a Narcissist?

Last week I talked about the online quiz you could take to determine how narcissistic you are and I mentioned that after I took the quiz my husband took it and when the kids saw us hovering over the computer they wanted to take the test too.

Well it proved to be a great conversation starter and became the germ of a teaching moment. First the kids wanted to know what narcissism was, and then after they saw their scores (and I don't know how accurate a score for an eleven year-old can be) they had questions about what "entitlement" and "vanity" and other words meant. It opened up a great discussion on what it meant to be narcissistic and why that might be a bad thing and how hard it is not to be narcissistic during those young years when you're so sure everyone in the room is staring at you and criticizing.

I do agree with Twenge's research though, and people are becoming steadily more narcissistic, though I don't think the trend began suddenly in the 1990s. As our standard of living grows it's human nature to expect--no, demand--more comforts and if those comforts are taken away we feel a sense of loss even if we hadn't even known that particular comfort ever existed.

So today I'm mentioning a few ways where parents can help their kids avoid the narcissism trap (assuming, of course, that they themselves aren't already stuck). I could probably write posts on each of these but for now we'll be brief.

Stop Being a Personal Secretary
Every time I've gone to a Back-to-School Night I've had to laugh at the parents taking notes. What are they writing? All the responsibilities their children have for schoolwork because apparently the children haven't learned how to write things down for themselves. When parents take these kinds of responsibilities from their children it just reinforces how important the children's lives are over their parents' lives which equals--you guessed it--narcissism.

If your child has to be somewhere or do something set those expectations that it's their responsibility to see if you're available and to do all the reminding. It's their life isn't it? So shouldn't that be their responsibility?

Stop Being a Bank
I've written before about how I don't think children should have allowances so I won't go into that here, but I'll just say that if you act as the private financier not only are they not learning about how money really works but they just learn that anytime they have a need you will be there to provide it. Just like that.

Seems rather self-centered to me. Though wouldn't that be nice if we all had magic lamps that gave us all our wishes, no questions asked? Yea, that's a nice thought.

Stop Being Paparazzi
Going back to the parents at school . . . it's always a treat to walk into a school event like a play or assembly and not be able to see the stage through the tripods. The entire first row, and usually most of the second is set up with cameras aimed at the stage, ready to capture every sniffle and smirk. If that's not a lesson on how to produce a vain child I don't know what is.

While I'm all for taking pictures and mementos am I the only one who thinks the whole "capture the moment" thing has gotten WAY out of hand? Seems like it would be rather hard for a child to learn humility when every moment of their life they have a camera pointed at them and people cooing over how cute they are constantly. Take some pictures but let's not go overboard people. The child is, after all, still a mere mortal.

Show Them You Love Your Spouse More Than Them
The best thing you can do for your child is to show them you love your spouse. Not only does it teach them about proper, loving relationships but it's also entirely appropriate that they know that as much as you love them (the child) that you love your spouse more.

The parent-child bond is wonderful and amazing but it pales next to the marriage bond (or it should). No child should take precedence over a marriage and no child should think that they are more important to you than your spouse. Keep your Friday night activities with the kids to a minimum and instead go out with your husband (or wife) and show the kids how important you are to each other--it will be good for all of you.

Let Them Fight Their Own Battles
Life is a tough thing and no child learns much from having their mom or dad step in to deflect life's pain. Yes, they may not get along with the teacher that well (I've heard most educators are human beings, after all), they may have disputes and fights with other kids and while those things are hard to witness it's much better to let your children figure out how to deal with those things without you stepping in to absorb the impact.

Of course I'm not advising you encourage or allow abuse--of course not--but if you're always there to tell them how they're right and everyone else in the world is wrong they're guaranteed to grow up thinking that their opinion is the only one that matters. And it's not.

Let Them Fail
I've heard that there are a growing number of young adults who haven't learned how to fail. They've been cheered and coached and pushed through success after success so that when they finally get into the real world and something doesn't go their way they break down, unaware of how to actually handle failure.

Children need to experience failure--not constantly of course--but healthy competition is a good experience, and dealing with not being number one is a critical lesson to learn. Have you even noticed how many valedictorians each graduating class has nowadays? I think most are up to, like, 75 or 76 by now. Because heaven forbid anyone should actually perform at anything but perfection. Don't get me started on grade inflation. . . .

Avoid the "Renaissance Child" Syndrome
I've had conversations with friends who insist that their children need to learn how to play at least one musical instrument and participate in one sport at all times (whatever is seasonal). Some even go so far as to include a foreign language and time abroad in there but it can't be good for a child to be raised to think that they have a right to experience all that the fine arts and athletics has to offer.

No kid should be raised to be good at everything, sure let them find something they like that helps them succeed, but really now, does a well-balanced, non-narcissistic child need to speak three languages, be all-state in both football and wrestling, while also playing first violin in the junior youth symphony? Give them and give me a break--it'll go a long way to keeping them level-headed and not big-headed.

Keep Them Wanting
No human being should ever get to the point where they have all the material things their heart desires. Now I don't mean that we shouldn't find satisfaction with our surroundings--that is actually pretty important--what I mean is that we should never accumulate so much stuff that when your child asks you what you want for Christmas you have nothing to say. It's good to not have so much there isn't anything on earth that you wouldn't like and children--most definitely--should never get to that point.

Kids should always have things that they want that they can't ever have and if your children are complaining about what they don't have then you're probably doing a pretty good job as a parent.

Don't fulfill all their desires, don't buy them the latest gadget or the expensive jeans. Tell them it's okay that they don't have a computer or a television or whatever it is that puts them at the bottom of the social hierarchy in their little world and then let them learn how to deal with it. Or teach them how it's normal to not get everything you want because there are things you want but can't have too--that they're young and have to learn how to work for what they want and that no where in Life's Contract does it say that we all deserve to have our wants supplied.

Learning how to say "no" is the first step to keeping the narcissism away.

Sponsored by Polkadot Peacock for children's bedding.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Easiest Donuts in the World

The Easiest Donuts in the WorldWhen it comes to donuts I'm just like Homer Simpson--I've never met a donut I didn't like. My favorite are probably the Bavarian creams with chocolate on top and custard inside but jellies are a close second with apple fritters and egg donuts and crullers not far behind.

Of course you can't forget maple bars or a perfectly glazed Krispy Kreme. The only thing I won't waste my calories on is a stale donut (though you can zap it in the microwave and take years of a donut's life) or a cake donut. Why bother? I mean they're okay but when you have the raised kind I just don't see the point.

This past week I taught the girls at church to make raised donuts and the recipe is easy enough but in the course of my research to find the perfect donut dough I stumbled upon a glorious fact: You can use refrigerated biscuit dough in place of donut dough with magnificent results.

I'm talking about the plain old, generic brand, refrigerated biscuit dough that comes in those tubes that scare me a bit every time I go to open one. For some reason every time I open one I get a slight apprehension as if I'm about to diffuse a bomb or something. Anyway, they're only about a dollar or two for a four pack here and one tube will make up 8-10 of these guys in no time at all.

You just pour some oil in a pan and fry them up (you'll want it at about 350 degrees, or hot enough to make a toothpick fizzle slightly when you stick it in the oil to test it). I warmed the dough slightly in the microwave (on a very low power) so that it was at room temperature, cut out a hole in the middle and fried away.

After they're golden all around--and don't forget to fry up the holes--you drain them on a paper towel and let them cool slightly. Make up your own glaze if you want but you can also sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar or drizzle with honey or even top with some Nutella. You cannot go wrong.

The kids thought I was the absolutely best mom in the world when they found I'd made donuts for their after school snack. It's a time that will go down in family history as a great day.

Sponsored by Dimples and Dandelions for Serena and Lily baby bedding.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Twentieth Wife

The Twentieth Wife by Indu SundaresanOh I found a good book! Don't you love it when you come across a book that you just devour and then stare blankly at the final page, wishing there were more?

I came back from India desperate for more of the country, with random lines of Kipling floating through my brain, O Best Beloved. (And here I should say that if you haven't yet read the Jungle Books or Just So Stories you cannot leave this life without doing so. To say the language is gorgeous is an understatement of elephantine proportions).

But we're not talking Kipling today folks. When I asked her for books on India my mother gave me a novel by Indu Sundaresan called The Twentieth Wife and I absolutely loved it. Historical fiction has always been my favorite genre so to find a historical novel about India was just what I was craving.

India's history goes back five thousand years with various groups coming in and adding to the culture but the Mughals were the rulers that essentially brought Islam to India. They ruled across the north and in what is now Pakistan then down into the Deccan plateau which is where we traveled. Descended from Genghis Khan himself, there were six major emperors--Babur, Humayun, Akbar, Jahangir, Shah Jahan and Aurangzeb--with the Mughal rule ending with British control of the subcontinent. For quite a time the Mughal empire was the biggest and richest in the entire world.

You're probably familiar already with one of these rulers, Shah Jahan, who was most famous for the love he had for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal, who died in childbirth with their 14th child. In tribute to her--the story goes--he built the Taj Mahal as her mausoleum.

But enough history. The point is, The Twentieth Wife tells the true story of Mehrunnisa, a commoner who becomes the Empress of India, the famous Nur Jahan, and the power behind the peacock throne during the early 17th century. Royal intrigue, love, romance, tragedy, torture, power and lust--it's all there in abundance--and while much of Mehrunnisa's early life and personality is conjecture, the story is founded in fact as recorded in her husband Jahanagir's journals, historical accounts and the writings of visitors to the Indian court.

Golkonda FortIn a time when women were kept from power and authority, Nur Jahan was intelligent, powerful and rich and not only influenced her husband in a way no other empress had before but she had merchant ships and properties and wealth beyond most men of court and was a shrewd businesswoman.

The story is interesting and the details transporting (I got very excited when they mentioned Golkonda Fort where we spent a few hours baking in the heat last month) and it's as exciting a story as you could want with all the exotic flavors of curry, jasmine and mangoes.

One of the things I particularly liked about the book--besides the fact that it's uncommonly clean--is that each chapter is headed with a paragraph from the actual historical documents upon which the story is based. Some are from court transcriptions, some from poetry and prose, some from English historians visiting the empire but all giving the real words of those who knew the Empress and knew her story and it gives the narrative a touch of authenticity.

I'm starting the sequel that continues Nur Jahan's story--The Feast of Roses--and if it's as good as the first book I'll be reading the last book in the trilogy, The Shadow Princess, which picks up the story with Nur Jahan's grand-neice after her mother Mumtaz Mahal dies in childbirth.

Now if only I could get Sundaresan to write books as fast as I can read them. . . .

Sponsored by Beau-Coup for unique baby shower favors.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Make Your Own Earrings Tutorial

Cloud Nine JewelryI've got a treat today--you've seen stamped silver necklaces before, right? They're very vogue and Cloud Nine Jewelry has the prettiest version I've seen so far which include hand-carved and cast charms.

Cloud Nine was begun by the talents behind jaC Jewelry and Alison Kelley Design and they've put together a short and simple tutorial just for Scribbit readers on how to make a pair of beaded wire-wrap earrings that I know you'll love. It's a fun project for Mother's Day and if you have a preteen or teen daughter in the house it would be a fun craft to try together.

For pictures and instructions on the hand-casting process you can read Janna's tutorial and be inspired.

Thanks Cloud Nine Jewelry!



If you like it, give the tutorial a shout-out on Facebook or Twitter and help spread the word.

***

Congratulations to Tia of Anchorage, Alaska for winning this weekend's Bead Girl giveaway. She's won that fabulous $75 gift certificate in time for Mother's Day.

Sponsored by Annette Lyon, whose new novel Band of Sisters is now in print.

Monday, April 19, 2010

So How Narcissistic Are You Anyway?

Jean TwengeI think it was John Rosemond who summed up parenting by saying it was a parent's job to spend the first two years of her child's life convincing him that he's the center of the universe then to spend the next 16 years convincing him that he's not.

I've loved that quote since the first time I read it and it fits perfectly with a fascinating article my father sent me from The Alaska Dispatch (by Josh Saul, April 14th) titled "Fighting an Epidemic of Narcissism." where Saul interviews Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, who came to Anchorage last week to talk about how the new generation of college students is much more narcissistic than their parents' generation.

Besides Rosemond's quote I also happen to love irony and the irony is flowing as Saul interviews Jennifer Husby, 23, a University of Alaska Anchorage student who is asked whether she agrees with Twenge's research.

She disagrees, saying that her classmates are just much busier and so focused on personal and financial success that they're already in the "keeping up with the Joneses phase."

"It's like I have so much going on that I don't have the time to focus on anything other than myself," Husby says. "Everything can seem narcissistic to a point because everything we do is to satisfy one of our own needs."

Is anyone else smiling out there? Because the last time I checked, that was the classic definition of narcissism. But then perhaps Ms. Husby was so focused on her "personal and financial success" that she failed to invest in a good dictionary. But I shouldn't be sarcastic, it's unbecoming I'm sure, and you should read the article for yourselves because not only does it give you something to think about, you can also take a quiz based on the test Twenge developed called the Narcisssism Personality Inventory (NPI) which in 40 questions tells you how narcissistic you are.

Some of the questions are obvious: "Do you like to look at yourself in the mirror?" but most are more intriguing, such as: "Do you depend on other people to get things done?" and "Do you find it easy to manipulate people?" I won't give out any spoilers but when you get your score (12-15 being average, 18 being Celebrity Status and 20 or above being a full-blown Narcissist Extraordinaire) it breaks it down into subcategories--personality traits that are components of narcissism that you may not have thought of as being narcissistic per se.

I took it and then had my husband take it and then when the kids saw what we were doing they wanted to take it too. So what was my score? Well, I'm embarrassed to say actually. And you can interpret that any way you want--maybe I'm embarrassed because my score says I'm so darn humble that it kind of negates the test if I broadcast it, maybe I'm embarrassed because I'm so completely average in my narcissistic tendencies or maybe I'm a megalomaniac in blogger's clothing. I'll let you decide, but take the quiz and see what you think then come back next week because I certainly have more to say on the subject.

Is it narcissistic of me to hope you will?

Photo from The Alaska Dispatch

Sponsored by Sorella Jewelry Studio for fine personalized jewelry.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Pizza Bites. Wowzers!

Pizza BitesOh have I been craving pizza lately--I sat on the couch only yesterday afternoon drooling at the thought of a big slab of greasy pizzeria-style pepperoni where the pepperoni is crispy and the cheese is bubbling up in glorious toasty pockets of fatty goodness. . . . There aren't too many pizzas I don't like out there.

This appetizer/snack is pizza perfection but simplified.

If you don't want to make up your own dough you can of course by any kind of substitute: Rhoads Rolls, refrigerated biscuit or crescent roll dough, if it's got yeast and flour then it'll probably work with a bit of modification.

We made these for New Year's Eve and they went over so well we ended up making them as a fun dinner a month later. The original recipe was at Chaos in the Kitchen but I did it a little differently. And better if you'll permit me to say so.

one batch pizza dough (or follow the recipe below)

Pizza dough:
1 1/2 cups warm water
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 cups flour
1 tablespoon yeast

4 ounces pepperoni slices
6 ounces mozzarella
1 tablespoon oregano
spray olive oil
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
freshly ground pepper to taste
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
pizza sauce (bottled or home made)

Once you have your dough prepared (either in a bread machine or by traditional hand methods or by defrosting your frozen rolls) take a pair of kitchen shears and snip the ball of dough into 32 little walnut-sized pieces of dough.

Take your pepperoni and cut the slices into quarters (they're easier to work with when they're chopped or cut into smaller sizes) and cut your mozzarella into 32 tiny cubes. Take a cube of cheese and a couple pieces of pepperoni and wrap a piece of dough around it, taking care to seal the dough properly. Lay the dough, seal side down, in a well-greased pie plate. Continue with the other balls of dough, filling 2 pie plates full of the little guys.

Now here's where you can do things a little differently. The recipe can either bake the dough in the pie plates OR you can take a bit of the pizza sauce and pour it in the bottom of the pie plates and set the dough balls on top of the sauce to bake. It's up to you but I kind of like the effect that the dough gets when it bakes on the sauce.

Regardless of the call you make, after the dough is all prepared and the balls are sitting in the pie plates spray the balls with the spray olive oil so that they're lightly coated with oil. Mix the oregano, Parmesan, salt and pepper together and sprinkle over the top of the balls.

Let them rise for half an hour while your oven is preheating to 400 degrees then bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden. Careful--they'll be hot but worth the wait. Serve them by themselves or dipped in pizza sauce, it's your decision.

Sponsored by Polkadot Peacock for children's bedding.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Bead Girl Giveaway

Bracelet by the Bead GirlThinking of Mother's Day yet? If you got all the snow we did this week you may still be in the depths of winter but I've got news for you: Mother's Day is coming very soon. Have you thought of your mom yet?

Well I'm here to give you a jump start on the issue because I've got a gorgeous shop to introduce you to. The Bead Girl has some beautiful gear--whether you're scoping out presents for Mom or for yourself I promise you you'll love this.

I happen to be a bracelet woman myself so I was drawn to the stunning cuff bracelet with amazonite you see at the right here (love that color--it's completely "spring"). If you have a mother who has experienced the joys of adoption take a look at the "adoption" bracelet below that has little charms with a story perfect for Mother's Day.

Bracelet by The Bead GirlI love her hammered rings and the simplicity of this silver two ring necklace (did I mention I'm also partial to silver? She's got plenty of it).

And if you'd like your Mother's Day to be a little more significant you can purchase the Haiti Relief Necklace where $25 of each sale go to the Christian World Outreach, Inc.

The Bead Girl sent me a pair of her double disc earrings in silver and gold and I just love them! And one lucky winner this weekend will receive a $75 gift certificate so you can choose what item from the Bead Girl you can't live without. Good luck to you all and may the best man (or mom) win. . . .

Here's how to win:

Before 12 am Monday morning go to the giveaway entry form on this page and enter your name and email. I will pick one of the names at random, contact the winner via their email and publish the winner's first name and home town in next Tuesday's post. See the bottom of the entry form for more details.

This giveaway is open to all readers with a U.S. address. Good luck!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Art from India

My mother, Sharon Nichols, gave me copies of two of her many sketches she's done while living in India. This first is a drawing of the sultan Tipu's summer palace in Bangalore.Tipu's Summer Palace in BangaloreThis second is of the city of Goa on the west coast which used to be a Portuguese colony but now attracts a lot of European tourists. I'm going to get some bright, colorful mats and black frames and hang them next to a grouping of photos from the trip. Aren't they just beautiful?

GoaThen, branching out a bit, this is a mural from Tipu's winter palace in Mysore. It shows a battle against the British and it reminds me rather of the Bayeux tapestry. It has the cavalry charging, a few beheadings here and there, elephants charging and arrows flying which makes you feel you're part of the noise and chaos of battle.

Mural at Tipu's Winter Palace
This is a picture my father, Mel Nichols, took of some sand art. Hindus will use the sand--or colored rice flour--to draw intricate designs and when they do it in front of their doorstep it's supposed to bring good luck. They have this careful way of holding the powder so that it drops perfectly from their fingers in an even stream and each morning when we left the apartment in the morning Mom and Dad's neighbor had a different little design on the cement in front of her door.

Hindu Sand Art
But in India art is everywhere, it's just a part of life which may seem strange in a country that has a reputation for poverty and chaos but if you think about it it makes sense--art makes life a little more bearable and with so many people in India you have that many more minds thinking creatively. What else would you expect from the land of peacocks? Even their wildlife is decorative.

Peacocks in India
Where else would you see four conjoined man-elephants in gold on top of a building? (And there is so much of this kind of thing you stop taking pictures of it after a while).

Ganesh in India
Or doors decorated with such intricacy?

Golkonda Fort, India
Seems as if everyone was busy making something pretty. Even in dusty alleyways like this one where this man was beading a silk sari.

Man Beading a Sari
It's just a beautiful place.

Sponsored by Dimples and Dandelions for Serena and Lily baby bedding.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Getting Ready for Fishing Season with My Fish Hat

I know it's no longer wool-hat weather but who among you will argue with the cuteness of this hat?

Knit Fish Hat
I saw the pattern here at Knitty and had to make one but you want to hear the sad part? My daughter, my sweet little baby, is officially too "big" for a fish hat and just modeling it here for my picture sent her into rolls of the eyes.

"Mom!" she said as I forced her to put it on for the picture. Yes, forced. So report me, I dare you.

Even the pink wasn't enough to tempt her to wear it but I think it's just adorable.

Knit Fish Hat
I made another one in blue--just for good measure--and they're both up for sale in my Etsy shop if you happen to have a child that would wear it. Apparently I need grandchildren.

Knit Fish Hat***

Congratulations to Tammy of Clifton Park, New York for winning last weekend's Sugar Chills Giveaway.
Sponsored by Beau-Coup for unique baby shower favors.

Monday, April 12, 2010

How to Write When You Have Nothing to Write

Writer's BlockI've been asked before what I do for writer's block and I've said several times that I don't get writer's block. I suppose there should be an asterisk after that sentence because I have had writer's block--but only with certain kinds of writing.

Here at the blog writer's block has never been much of a problem (for better or for worse) and my husband will gripe about how I will sit down and pop out a post in between commercials while we're kicking back in front of the television in the evening.

He's exaggerating, but not by much, and I'm here to explain how it's done. There's no big mystery when it comes to being able to write on demand and here are ten tips for those wondering "What do I say today?"

1. Practice thinking.
Remember that you don't need anything terribly epic to make a good post, life tends to present all sorts of things for your comment, the trick is to have an opinion. Now maybe Andrew and I are strange freaks of nature but you could pretty much ask us our opinion on any subject and we'd be able to talk for longer than you'd care to listen.

The funny thing about blogs is that you can say so much in a blog that you'd never be able to get away with in person. What I mean is this: if you were at a dinner party and someone asked you how you felt about disciplining children and you were to talk about how children nowadays are so rude and impolite and that parents should discipline them better (just hypothetically speaking of course) every woman at the dinner table would hate you because she'd assume you were talking about her child.

However, you could write a post, say exactly the same thing, and while people may disagree with you or tell you you're whacked as soon as you're speaking to a group everyone assumes you're talking about the other guy and there are suddenly a million reasons why whatever you're saying doesn't apply to them and that they're different. It's just human nature.

So my point is, go think about things and formulate some opinions. They may be right, they may be wrong but I bet they'll be interesting and people like reading someone else's opinion--even if it drives them crazy.

2. Learn to look at life in terms of conflict, crisis, resolution.
You have the great formulas of life. Force equals mass times acceleration, volume is height times width times depth and in storytelling it's "story equals conflict, crisis, resolution."

Conflict can be as great as a car wreck or a trip to prison or as small as missing an appointment or fighting with a loved one. As a blogger (or writer) it's your job to see that conflict and exploit it. Heh. Kidding--well, kind of. Just remember that conflict is what drives your writing and only conflict. I don't care if you're the most eloquent person in the world if there is no conflict you're not giving anyone a reason to push their eyes to the next word. Conflict, and only conflict is interesting. It may be sad, it may be funny, it may be ridiculous or ironic but it is the only thing that works so get used to recognizing it.

Also, remember that you might present conflict but too many bloggers forget the last two parts. Your rising action is critical and the crisis should be the high point of emotion and resolution must happen or readers will leave the table still feeling hungry and wondering what it was they just ate. Conflict without resolution is merely whining.

3. Use life markers for ideas.
Old photos, family stories, a journal entry, a souvenir from a trip, a collection you love or a piece of clothing--if you've saved it for a reason there is most likely a story there (unless of course you're just a compulsive hoarder then it may just be a sign of deeper issues). Tell that story and make us care about it the way you do.

Life isn't made up of possessions but stories often are.

4. Go through past posts for ideas.
If you wrote something years ago go back and take another look at it with fresh eyes. Maybe the story has come to a new conclusion, maybe you feel differently about it now, maybe you've learned more since then, maybe there's more to develop. If you haven't wrote in the past, old journal entries or letters can serve the same purpose.

Even if there is nothing more to tell sometimes just going through past writing (especially if you like what you wrote and it's a quality piece) will inspire you to a new thought or a new idea. You might remember a detail you'd forgotten or a way to expand on what you've already done.

Reworking an old post is a good exercise even if you never publish it because it's always helpful to touch up and improve what you've already done for the sake of good writing. And you want to improve your writing, write?

5. Look at your life as if you're a stranger.
This is a helpful exercise for life in general--being able to take an objective assessment of your situation or performance--but it's particularly helpful when writing. Try to look at your home or surroundings with a fresh perspective. Pretend you're a tourist in your life and see what might be interesting then write about it. This can be hard if you've lived in the same place forever but give it a try and imagine what it might be like to see a tornado for the first time (I've never seen one) or to find a snake in your house (haven't had this happen either). What family recipes have you eaten forever that are stale to you but new and interesting to a guest?

Good writing is made of details so learn to see the details of your own life.

6. Use other people's writing to inspire.
Whether it's a fine episode of the Simpsons or Pride and Prejudice with Zombies you can see examples of how one thing can play on another (parody alone has sparked a whole canon of work). Look at what inspires other people's creativity and then put your own personal spin on it. Use it to branch out and continue the story, take a counter approach or see the story from a new perspective.

Reading other blogs is particularly good for this--read something controversial and use it to inspire a rebuttal or a concurring opinion. No one says you have to agree but I would recommend being polite and professional.

But whatever you do make it your own and bring your own life and talents to the task.

7. Make lists.
What are your favorites? Foods, colors, flowers, cars, games, habits? What are your pet peeves, your thrills or your favorite vacation spots? Use lists to spark an idea and run with it. Think of some of your favorite things to do and then write about how to teach someone else to do it. Change a spark plug? Bake a cake? Plant tulip bulbs? If you find it interesting then chances are someone else will too and the process of teaching someone else to do it will be a good experience in organized thinking and as we all know organized thinking leads to organized writing.

8. Keep a notebook on hand at all times.
I would perhaps even extend this to even taking notes in the shower because I actually do some of my best thinking in the shower (assuming no one is pounding on the door saying "Mom! Mom! Mom!" which is about one time out of five).

Keep track of funny things your child (or husband) says, keep track of thoughts you had or ways your day was different from the day before. Write down your reactions to things you heard on the radio (I do this frequently) or plans you have for your week or your life. If you want to know a secret, Moleskines are about the coolest thing in the world anyway. Much cooler than an iPhone. You'll look even cooler with one of those little black notebooks than all the tech gadgets in the world.

Sponsored by Annette Lyon, whose new novel Band of Sisters is now in print.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Spring Shrimp Pasta

Spring Shrimp PastaFunny how different seasonal foods can inspire different emotions--thick, chunky root-vegetable stews are so comforting and grilled meats on the barbecue are so fun.

Spring veggies are proof that there is life after winter and I've been eating my asparagus like crazy. This light pasta recipe is not only perfect for a spring meal with something pretty and green on the side, it's low-calorie and healthy and goes together in under fifteen minutes.

Sometimes I'll use flaked salmon in place of shrimp, sometimes feta in place of other goat cheeses, Orange instead of lemon is a fun twist and you can always through things like chopped, cooked broccoli, peas, chopped asparagus or minced green onions in for color. This recipe has possibilities baby.

Don't forget the crusty French bread on the side. . . .

3 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 tablespoon minced garlic
1 pound shrimp, shelled and deveined
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon fresh, chopped dill
3 tablespoons capers
freshly squeeze juice of one lemon
8 ounces crumbled goat cheese
16 ounces spaghetti or fettucini, cooked
zest of one lemon

Heat olive oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Saute garlic gently until begins to turn golden. Add shrimp, salt and pepper and saute until shrimp are cooked (pink). Add fresh dill and capers, lemon juice and saute another minute then toss mixture with hot cooked pasta and goat cheese and top with lemon zest.

Sponsored by Sorella Jewelry Studio for fine personalized jewelry.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Sugar Chills Natural Body Products Giveaway

Sugar Chills Beauty ProductsThanks to those of you who have asked about the old knee--I don't know that it's getting any better and I'm rather stuck to the couch but I'm assured that most people do in fact survive such ordeals so my prognosis is generally good.

Besides . . . it's given my husband a chance to once again prove himself to be the absolute sweetest guy. He's been keeping things running around the house and bringing me ice packs. And he does windows too.

But time off my feet has given me a chance to do something fun for my feet. I was sent some Sugar Chills natural body care products to try and it's been the high point of the week.

They sent me some of their Face Slime Cleansing Clay Mask which was very pleasant (you mix with a small amount of water to form a paste but be careful--not too much water or you end up with soup. Just to warn you) but my favorite was the Foot Gunk. Probably because I love pedicures and the exfoliating peppermint scrub was a nice pick-me-up. Something about having your feet and nails all pretty makes you feel so done up doesn't it?

Specializing in all natural ingredients there are plenty of scents and treatments to choose from and Sugar Chills is offering some of their Face Slime to the winner along with some $5 gift certificates to try out any of their other products. A nice way to get you ready for spring and warmer weather. Thanks Sugar Chills!

Here's how to win:

Before 12 am Monday morning go to the giveaway entry form on this page and enter your name and email. I will pick one of the names at random, contact the winner via their email and publish the winner's first name and home town in next Tuesday's post. See the bottom of the entry form for more details.

This giveaway is open to all readers with a U.S. address. Good luck!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Forbidden Island

Forbidden IslandWe're game freaks over here and while I'm quite the anti-video game mom (you notice I've never written about my issues with video games? It's because I dislike being tarred and feathered) any time I can find a good non-blinking, non-beeping, non-battery requiring game I do a little dance of joy.

But for every good game review request I get there are five others that are junk so I'm always very cautious when someone writes and wants me to try out their new game. However . . . when Gamewright (which has a good track record already) sent me a video clip of their new game Forbidden Island the curiosity got me.

And what great timing because with this bad knee of mine I've been stuck on the couch this week and we've been playing it for the last three or four days now.

You set up an island with tile cards representing various locations like "Temple of the Moon" or "Coral Palace" and each of the players assumes a role that has special powers. The story is that the island is sinking underneath you and you need to find and gather four special treasures then return to the landing platform where the helicopter can lift you off to safety before the water covers the island completely.

A few great things about the game:
  • It's not too long or too short. I'm afraid I HATE Monopoly. By the time you finish a game you're eligible for social security. Every time I play it I get to a point where I'm so sick of it that I really don't care who wins. Take my money, just get me out of the game (making me a good person to play with because you'll beat me every time). You can finish Forbidden Island in between homework being done and dinner being served--perfect.

  • It's a fun kid-styled game but yet still entertaining for adults too. Death to Candyland. Forbidden Island says it's for ages 10+ but Lillian (age 8) has no problem playing--though it is possible she's just a genius or something. Spencer (13) and David (11) love it and even Andrew and teenage Grace like playing.

  • It's unique in that it's a team effort. You aren't competing against other players, all the players act together to collect the treasures and get everyone off the island which is not only nice as a life lesson in cooperation, it's nice for those of us who have problems with nice family games ending in bloodshed because of heavy competition. Not that our family ever argues or anything. Not us.

  • The level of difficulty can be adjusted according to your confidence. The island floods bit by bit as you play and if you want to make it even more of a challenge (though we haven't got to that point yet) you can set the water level higher at the beginning of play, giving you less time to complete your task and making it more frantic as the island floods. Perhaps you need more "frantic" in your life?

  • The roles each person gets assigned are fun and add a nice twist. There's the Navigator who can move other players to safety, the Explorer who can move diagonally, the Diver who can swim through flooded areas, the Engineer who can shore up sinking places, even a Pilot who--along with being able to fly to any point on the island in one move--has the added benefit of his own theme music that sounds remarkably like the theme song for The A Team each time he flies to another spot on the island. It's a bonus.
So our verdict? Two enthusiastic thumbs up. Or rather twelve enthusiastic thumbs up because we all agree that it's a keeper.

Sponsored by Polkadot Peacock for children's bedding.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Silk Worms throughout the House

Remember how we visited the silk worm auction outside of Bangalore? Well it was one of my favorite things to see on our trip because it was so interesting. The farmers brought in bags and bags of silk worms in their silk cocoons.

Silk Worms
Here is one cocoon that they cut open for us to see--the little worm is still wriggling around. The little piece of dirt that's stuck to his head is his waste.

At the silk worm auction there were two separate kinds of silk worms: the whiter, smaller cocoons are the Chinese variety (see the cocoon on the left) and the larger, yellower cocoons are the Indian variety (see the cocoon on the right). The Chinese are worth more because not only are they valued for their lack of color but because there is more silk--the Indian cocoons have about 800-1000 meters of silk wrapped around and around in one continuous strand and the Chinese have up to 1600 meters. The yellow cocoon looks as if it has more silk but for some reason the smaller Chinese cocoon is just packed more tightly.

Silk Worms
The farmers gave me several cocoons as souvenirs and they're about my favorite thing that I brought home from the trip (but then I've always had a weakness for natural souvenirs like pine cones and acorns and sea shells). They're rather sticky--almost like Velcro--as their strands cling to each other but they're also slightly shimmery. It kind of makes you wonder who it was that first had the idea to take one of these guys and harvest its tiny piece of string.

Two of the cocoons I froze overnight in the freezer to kill the little worms. I know it's brutal but they were doomed anyway and I figured it was kinder than letting them hatch in a frigid Arctic environment. Once they're sold at auction they're thrown into vats of hot water where the secretions that hold the strands in place are loosened and the individual thread of silk can be gathered and wrapped up for use.

Another cocoon we cut open to show the kids what was inside. By that time the little worm was half-way metamorphosed into a moth which is what you see in the picture above. I'm afraid he didn't make it either.

One little cocoon went with Lillian to show and tell at school and then the last cocoon I stuck in a bowl and left on my bedroom shelf just to see what would happen. When I got up Monday morning this is what I saw:

Silk Worms
It's wings were still wet and eventually dripped spots of tan color all over the bowl as they dried but we now have one bona fide silk moth in the house.

I'm not sure what to do with him, the chances of survival in an Alaskan April are pretty slim--we don't have too many mulberry trees up here--but I can't bear to kill it so I stuck it in a butterfly cage with a dish of sugar water to see if we could get it to eat but so far it's just sat on its cocoon and cried. I think it misses India too.

Sponsored by Dimples and Dandelions for Serena and Lily baby bedding.

Monday, April 05, 2010

And it Comes Back to Family . . .

I've lived close to my extended family my whole life--my grandparents moved to Alaska in the 1940s and I've got cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings, nieces and nephews spread out all over our fine city and as some of you may already know, when you have a blessing that is with you all the time it's very easy to take it for granted.

It's been that way with me and my family where I often forget how wonderful it is to have them around, to have them as good examples as I raise my children and to have people to be with on important occasions. But though I've forgotten this from time to time lately it's been brought home to me so strongly.

Andrew and I had planned our India trip a year ago but even though we had tickets I was worried about how it would all work out. How could I leave the kids for two weeks? Who on earth could I possibly impose on to take care of my children for so long? We pushed the trip back a few months and wondered how Andrew would be able to go and all the time I worried about what I'd do with my children.

Then my sister came along. Melanie had been to India already and had had such a wonderful trip that she came and told me she'd like to watch the kids so both Andrew and I could go too. She didn't act as if it was the chore that I knew it would be, she assured me that she wanted to do it and that she liked my children and that she was so excited for us to see what she'd seen that it wasn't a sacrifice at all. I tell you I felt relieved and then completely inadequate. It wasn't until that moment that I actually felt as if I could go and have a good time and her kindness and sincerity was so touching I had a hard time understanding how someone could be so nice. We never would have been able to go if it weren't for her and her selflessness.

Then there were my parents. From the time they left for India nearly three years ago they told us how much they wanted us to come visit but it was so easy to look at all the reasons why a trip like that would be impractical. We have responsibilities here at home, we don't have the money, we don't have the time--all sorts of excuses as to why it wouldn't work but all they said is "if you'll come to visit, we'll take care of everything and make sure you have a wonderful time."

We eventually cashed in our travel miles and came up with tickets but then all sorts of things sprang up to interfere but they didn't complain or get upset when it looked as if we wouldn't be coming after all. They patiently said they hoped we'd be able to come but they'd completely understand if it didn't work out. Then when things finally started to fall into place a month before we were to leave and we were sure we'd be coming you'd think we were doing them the biggest favor.

They took care of us and showed us a side of India that few people get to see. They knew where to go and what to do and helped us navigate some of the more difficult things about the country until we felt like royalty. They fed us and put us up and introduced us to sweet lime sodas and even took us to places in 100 degree heat that they'd seen a million times before. In short, they gave us the experience of a lifetime and all because they wanted us to come for a visit.

When we finally got home to Alaska late at night Andrew went to hang up our coats in the front closet but he stumbled back to me, delirious with jet lag, saying with all sorts of confusion, "Uh . . . the closet doors are back in place!"

You see not too long after remodeling our entry way a year ago and installing these ENORMOUS solid wood, eight-foot closet doors the fancy pivot joints that held them in place gave out and the doors fell off. It's a very long story as to why we couldn't get them fixed but we've had them stuck in the garage in storage for about eight months, figuring that we'd deal with getting them fixed whenever we could and it didn't seem as if it would be in the near future.

Apparently while we were gone Grandpa heard we were out of town and decided to sneak in and fix our doors for us. I haven't a clue how he did it because those doors are heavier than an elephant. I know, I've seen elephants. But somehow he rigged up a special hack to fix the pivot joints and he and Grandma and my uncle and aunt came over and hauled them out of storage and put them back in place. I tell you it was easier to haul stones for the pyramids of Egypt than it was to get those nasties out of the garage but they did it and we came home to find a Christmas miracle. It was strange to find myself getting all weepy over a set of dumb closet doors.

Then another sister planned a big Easter celebration all for us and made this spectacular brunch complete with an Easter egg hunt and fun for my kids and all just because she's that kind of a person who likes to do fun things for other people. It's like the thoughtfulness just wouldn't stop.

It's all gone to make me stop and think how grateful I am for family. That it's so easy to get frustrated with people when you know them so closely but that they're really what makes life wonderful and the kindness we do in our own families are what cement our relationships. The older my grandfather gets and the closer he gets to finishing his life the more emotional he gets about family until every time I go visit him he hugs me as if it's the last time he'll see me. It's helped me to appreciate that even though we may get our feelings hurt or our toes stepped on, that family is family and it's worth a lot of sacrifice to keep it strong. You may be able to walk away from friends or coworkers or old college buddies but family is special and it's the most important of all.

Sponsored by Beau-Coup for unique baby shower favors.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Sweet Italian Chicken

Sweet Italian ChickenSo we're back! Back home and recuperating from a vicious case of jet lag.

Andrew and I were pretty excited, we didn't expect to have any more skiing and thought the snow would have melted by the time we got back but there was still enough to give it one more try. So yesterday we hit the trails for a morning of skiing and wouldn't you know it? It was so icy and slippery that I fell pretty hard and messed up my knee so now I'm on a pile of pillows with ice packs, hoping that it looks better by tomorrow so I don't have to go in and see what I've torn. I feel so old and so stupid.

Is it a bad sign when you feel your knee joint slipping around when you move? Just hypothetically speaking of course.

But thank you to all who left such nice comments about our trip. I was horrible about responding to emails and comments since we were on the go so much and internet service was sketchy but I hope you all know how wonderful it was to read your comments from so far away.

All that Indian food put me in the mood for a big juicy piece of meat and first thing back I grabbed myself a greasy burger (not normal for me but I was desperate). So today's recipe follows in that carnivorous vein with this SUPER easy recipe I found this recipe over at Big Red Kitchen (yet another food blog I live for). The recipe is so simple, so quick and easy that it's hardly a recipe at all. You've heard of five-ingredient dinners, right? Well would you believe this has only three ingredients?

Three. And if you don't count the chicken it's down to two ingredients. A cup of brown sugar mixed with a package of Italian dressing mix rubbed on chicken and that's it.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

My picture didn't turn out near as pretty as Robin's, you can blame our darkness and the fact that I didn't get the coating as thick and luscious on my first try but otherwise I was well pleased with it all. She served her chicken over noodles but I'd prefer polenta or a pilaf myself. With some steamed veggies on the side probably. Not that you'd be counting calories after consuming all that sugar but still--veggies are always good.

Bake it for the normal chicken-baking time. About 45 minutes at 350 (typical). Check out the original recipe for a much better picture and other great recipes.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Back Home Again

Indian PeopleThis is my last post about our trip—we made it home safely and are walking around feeling very tired and very quiet after all we’ve seen and done—and while I could probably write for another month about everything we’ve seen and touched and smelled I won’t subject you to it, I promise. Instead I'll leave with just one more post and some of my favorite pictures that my father took.

My parents wisely told me it is easy for Americans to be consumed with the shocking things about India—trash in cities, pollution in the rivers, smells of agriculture and beggars in the streets—and miss the beauty. So I came with an open mind, aware that India might be the exact opposite of the life I’ve been used to but looking for whatever it was that made her unique.

I'm probably biased after such a trip but I think India is the most exciting place in the world. If there is a spot on the earth that is the exact opposite of Alaska it must be India and nowhere is the parallel of old and new so apparent and so hopeful. If India were a person, she would be a young girl in that preteen era before she becomes self-conscious—finding joy in everything and smiling with ease for the camera but she could also be an old woman who, while full of history, is still healthy and agile enough to be convinced that her best years are ahead of her.

Indian People
The sounds of India are of cars constantly honking and motors revving. Everything is under construction—partly from original shoddy workmanship that now requires repairs and partly from a constant stream of government projects waiting to be completed. Everywhere you hear hammers driving nails and jack hammers breaking up concrete and brooms sweeping.

Indian People
The languages are full of melody and cadence, rolling the Rs’ and clipping the D’s as if they were weaving some lacy pattern in and out with their words and while they sound foreign there is also this underlying familiarity that reminds that we came from the same roots, English and Hindu.

Indian People
But my favorite sound in all our time there was the Muslim call to prayer at morning, noon and evening when the mosques would send voices floating on the breezes over the traffic and smog of the city, calling the people to remember God.

Indian People
The colors of India are startling and bold, with flowers, silks and fruits. With statues draped in flower garlands and foreheads dotted by jewels and red powders. You see beauty in laundry fluttering on clotheslines, in blue houses with orange trim and green doors and even in the patchwork color of scattered trash in alleyways and vacant lots and blue tarps set up as permanent bivouacs in crowded campgrounds throughout the city.

Indian People
India is the world’s largest consumer of gold and women wear their jewelry as their dowry and the only possession that is completely theirs. They love the yellowest tones of the 23 carat gold and the voluptuous contrast of a round golden earring dangling seductively from a woman’s ear against the warm brown richness of her neck has no equal in the west.

Indian People
You could focus on the smell of decay that haunts any area lucky enough to have water or the sewers running under the sidewalks where the cracked granite slabs have broken up in places, allowing the reek to float up from beneath your feet but if so you’ll miss the strands of tiny white jasmine hanging from the women’s hair. You'd miss the spices and herbs piled on trays in the marketplaces, the smell of red clay bricks baking in the sun or livestock wandering through the city to nibble on garbage and stray blades of grass pushing up through cracks in the cement.

Indian PeopleYou might see the beggars wandering through traffic standing at stop lights, tapping on car windows and asking for money while holding up a baby they probably borrowed as a prop but then you’d miss the curving, twisting spires of temples rising on every city block and the cubist glass compounds of the tech trade where new jobs are sending more and more people to universities and toward life in the middle class.

There is no cigarette smoke but the smoke of outdoor cooking fires throughout the city takes the place of modern ovens. As a solution to trash removal you'll see piles of burning garbage here and there throughout the city--some with flames leaping waist high and some that are now smoldering. You’d think that in such a dry heat all of India would catch fire but the cities are made of so much brick and cement that no one worries about the danger and everywhere you'll see charred and blackened sections of soil bordered by cement.

Indian PeopleAfter all this America seems very boring to me. I will miss the way Indians bobble their heads in a gesture that can mean “yes,” “no,” “maybe” or “I don’t know” depending on context and mood. Mom says to do it you draw a figure eight with your nose and it’s such a joyful little move it makes me smile every time.

I’ll miss the modesty of Indian women. We saw no more than twenty western faces the whole vacation and I grew used to how elegant and feminine Indian women looked in their saris. When we arrived back at the airport to see mini skirts and tank tops once again I couldn’t help feeling how vulgarly the European and American women displayed themselves in what was essentially someone else’s home. I was embarrassed for them and understood a little better how the western values of promiscuity and immodesty can offend other cultures.

Indian PeopleBut it's strange that even with discovering this new love for a land so far away I still feel a thrill when I once again touched down on American soil. It may not be as colorful--Alaska has two colors: green and white--or as much of a feast for the senses but it’s a good place. Reliable, solid and strong and I love it because it’s my home. America will always be my native place but there will also always be a special place in my memories for India and someday I hope to go back.

Sponsored by Annette Lyon, whose new novel Band of Sisters is now in print.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Health Care, Schmealth Care. Take a Look at India and Covet

Chowmahalla Palace, HyderabadI’m not sure how to tactfully write this but I’ll give it my best shot. When we told people we would be traveling in India one of the comments I heard was “But you’ll get sick!”

And truthfully, I was rather nervous that I’d spend my vacation with two weeks of Delhi Belly but was assured by my mother that she would, once again, take care of me and save me from picking up any nasty treats. I guess you’d say she’d have my back (side). (Pardon my humor). She assured me that Americans really could travel to India very comfortably and never encounter any bouts of the dreaded dysentery.

India isn’t particularly special when it comes to the “don’t drink the water” policy—in most countries outside of the U.S., Canada and Europe it’s not safe to drink the water. Even in industrialized places such as Hong Kong and Taiwan it’s not a good idea to drink tap water and you should be careful with bottled water because it’s not uncommon for the water to be bottled straight from the local tap then sold as “safe.”

My parents’ apartment building claimed to have purified water but my Mom had her own water purifier in the kitchen just in case and all of our water came from that. Most of the hotels we stayed at—Sheratons and such—claimed to have safe water but I was extra careful and drank bottled. You don’t want to spend your trip to India running from bathroom to bathroom now do you?

Squatty PottyAnd while my siblings who have visited India have been fairly free from intestinal issues (except for the fools who ate at that street vendor’s cart in Delhi and paid for it with their stomachs) India wasn’t quite so kind to me. I don’t think it was anything that I ate or that I picked up any bugs, I’ve just always had a wimpy, weak stomach that quivers over all sorts of issues (did I ever tell you how sick I got when I got married? Horrors!) so I think it was a combination of nerves, heat, occasional dehydration, spicy food and whatever else caught me off guard. Let’s just say for the last week I lived with lots of Immodium safely tucked in my purse, taken at regular intervals. Immodium is my friend.

Part of my fears centered around eastern toilets or “squatty potties” as they’re called and I lived in horror of encountering one at close range For those who may not be familiar with squatty potties they’re simply a hole in the ground. No seat, no plumbing, no water, no toilet paper—just a hole. The user (i.e. woman) is supposed to stand or squat overhead and do her job elegantly enough not to defile her sari and I haven’t a clue how it’s accomplished. I get a little squeamish with public restrooms in general so the thought of having to make a pit stop and experience this side of India was terrifying to contemplate.

Golkonda Fort, HyderabadBut the apartment and hotels we stayed at had great bathrooms so I was able to avoid the whole squatty potty issue until one day on the way to the airport. We were heading up to Hyderabad and suddenly I knew that I needed to make a stop (trying to put it delicately here). I asked Sampath to find a restroom and I was cringing, thinking that we’d stop at a petrol station and I’d finally have to deal with the whole eastern toilet thing and complete my Indian cultural experience.

But lo and behold Sampath pulled up to a luxury hotel and the tall doorman in a white uniform with red epaulettes and a gold turban opened the door to a bathroom with white marble floors inlaid with black onyx, gold fixtures, floor to ceiling mahogany stall doors and baskets of laundered towels on the marble counters next to alabaster bowls of cool water and floating jasmine.

Heh. Talk about your lucky day. I believe the score is Michelle: 1, Squatty Potty: 0.

But you may not merely be interested in Indian bathrooms and gastrointestinal traumas, you may also be curious about the Indian health system. A couple days after our 30 hours of flight a pain started building in my calf. Not bad, but it got worse each day and when I mentioned it to Mom she reacted as a typical mom would and suggested I was about to die from blood clots in my legs. Or something like that.

Anyway, she said I should see a doctor while I was there and I resisted because who wants to spend a day or two of their vacation spending tons of money chasing down doctors in a foreign country? On my “List of Things to Do” it was right below “try out a squatty potty.”

Golkonda Fort, HyderabadBut Mom being Mom she pressured until I agreed and I will never look at U.S. health care the same. EVER.

First off, we took an auto rickshaw from the apartment in the Koramangula district to the office in the Indiranager District which was a four story building tucked in between other urban shops. On the upper floors was the mission office and on the first floor was a local health clinic so we literally stopped in at the clinic on our way to the office.

I walked into the small office where four women with saris sat behind the reception desk shuffling paper work and answering phones. In the adjoining waiting room were about fifteen chairs waiting for patients to fill them and as we entered, a pretty woman approached us before we got to the reception desk. My mother (doing her Mom Job so well) stepped up and explained what was going on with my leg and the woman asked us to have a seat in one of the chairs.

Apparently she was one of the doctors who worked there and after we’d sat for all of—oh, I don’t know, thirty or forty seconds—another door opened and a handsome man in dark slacks and a white shirt came out to meet us. He ushered us into his office, introduced himself as Doctor Manohm in charmingly accented yet perfect English, then had us sit down to tell our story a second time.

Me in a SariHe then did an examination on my leg, explained why it was probably nothing more than a strained muscle and would go away in a few days, prescribed a simple muscle relaxant then wrote his personal mobile number on the prescription, saying that if we were to have any more troubles or if the problem were to get worse that we were to call him directly and he’d take care of us.

When we left his office, the visit now clocking in at about seven or eight minutes, we went to the reception desk, I asked how much the visit cost then paid my 200 rupees cash before exiting the office.

That’s approximately $4. For the whole visit. No really, I lie not.

My mother slipped and hurt herself a year or so ago and after all the MRIs, scans and tests they ran on her to make sure she was okay she was bruised and sore but the whole thing took less than an hour or two and she spent a total of $140.

Before my parents return to the U.S. this summer they plan on having full physicals, complete with blood work, scans, stress tests, brakes, air filters and all their fluid levels checked at a local clinic that caters to expat American health care and they’ll spend less than $100 per person for the whole process.

Golkonda Fort, HyderabadNow I know health care is a hot topic right now and that there are all sorts of folks out there arguing over whether we should have nationalized health care like our Canadian friends or our European neighbors across the way but I will tell you that there is something wrong in our country when a visit to a doctor for a sore leg costs you hundreds of dollars and a day’s worth of your time.

And while there is something seriously wrong with health care in the U.S. I’m sick of hearing how great the Canadian system is because frankly, I don’t buy that either. More taxes and longer lines are not my idea of improvement so what I’m really wondering is why on earth more people aren’t pointing to India and saying “THIS is what we need!”

Now I know things aren’t quite as simple as turning U.S. health care into a copy of the Indian system and I know that the U.S. health care system excels India in specialized procedures and rare treatments but why on earth can’t we have our simple, preventative and basic health care based on Asian systems? Are we so Euro-centric to think that the west is the way to go on this? Because I’m just not feeling it after my experience.

Hyderabad AirportWe had some health care issues in the family last fall and when all was over we spent about $6000 after insurance. We could have flown the patient to India to stay with my parents and had the same work done safely there and saved nearly $4000—all with care that is considered to be as good as we have in the west.

What is wrong with us and why isn’t Obama talking about India more? Geesh!

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